mil making excuses...

I'm confused about what he means by "you being the bad guy". Also confused about why you said "my family sucks", when you seem like it's his family that you're not happy with?

Oh I see, OK.

That's the downside of a destination wedding though. It might be something you want to do but not everyone is into cruises. it's a lot to ask to have people commit to a cruise and an itinerary that they didn't choose. It might not be anything against you at all, but just the size of the ask here is pretty big. It's kind of the risk you take when you plan something that involves other people and their time and money.

A destination wedding is what "sucks" for a lot of people. You're asking them to give up time, vacation days and more money than they would for a local or domestic wedding while transferring the costs onto your guests. You are essentially pressuring them into taking your vacation, that they had no say in planning in terms of timing, budget, travel companions, itinerary and more.

A lot of times people close to you will attend even though it's a huge burden and inconvenience to them. The attitude that FI's family should be happy to do this, at the possible expense of their own vacation or other expenses is entitled on your part. Comparing them what your family can do or are willing to do is very inappropriate, too.

Just because he knows her finances does not give him the right to decide how she will spend her money.