mil wants to invite her friends to our intimate wedding. fh already had a 1-on-1 call and told her no, but she asked me personally again

Stand your ground. No is a complete sentence. Once you start giving explanations, then that’s when they try to troubleshoot, such as saying she will be. Just say “we have discussed it and our guest list is now finalized. We cannot add anymore people to it.” End of discussion. If you’re paying, there is no reason to have her friends there if you don’t want them.

She doesn't get a say, especially since she isn't contributing financially. A wedding is not the place to invite everyone you know, it's for people who are special to the couple and still involved in your lives. Keep telling her no. It should come from both of you, or your FH at the very least. When the time comes to print and send invitations, you won't be making invites for those people. Also be mindful of if you think she's telling them the date and time of the wedding -- you don't want crashers.

She’s trying to split the two of you apart to get what she wants on this issue. Stand your ground.

Like others have said stand your ground. It's your wedding so she needs to accept that you and your fiance have said no. Plus the second you say yes to this 8 it wouldn't surprise me if she suddenly wants to add even more people. It also wouldn't be fair if you said yes to her but had told your family no.

While as host, what you say obviously goes, we had no problem allowing each set of parents to invite a small handful of their closest friends. There was no impact on our day whatsoever and it made the parents happy to be happy to share the day with those most important to them. In my own view a wedding is about family and it’s their day to celebrate too. To me it’s a generous gesture and has mothing to do with who is paying, but if they are offering to cover costs, and you want to gain points, I’d honestly have little issue with it in your place.


Is this group an all or nothing invitation situation? In that case, and if they all have partners, you might want to or have to stick to none. Otherwise, would cutting the numbers help, limiting to just a few?

Eight (8) out of town guests are unreasonable and most likely they will not come. However, it is within your right to invite people you have actually met. Stand together as a team. If FMIL wants to throw a party, she can host them on her own. I invited some of my pare

(got cut off), parents' friends, but I knew them well and there were few. BTW, 75 is typical of a mid-size wedding, 25 micro or more intimate. If you all are used to 300 person weddings, mom will need longer to get used to a different way of wedding. Just be firm yet patient. Less info about wedding the better.

FH should let her know that the decision to not invite them has already been made, as he previously told her.

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Thanks, that's a really good point. We told my parents about not inviting their friends, so they are hosting a separate reception for us to invite their friends and they will pay for it. MIL is hosting a reception in her hometown for elderly relatives who can't travel, but she says that's too small to invite her friends to. Our suggestion to her was to make the reception bigger and we will gladly attend and meet her friends there, but she didn't like that idea lol.

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Thanks. Yeah, I think most weddings MIL has attended in the past have been much bigger so she thinks inviting friends of our parents is the norm. I agree that is typical if you have a 100+ people wedding, but we wanted 50 originally. Had to increase it to 75 because MIL told us there are relatives we have to invite, which I was fine with.

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Girl, they are trying to get 3 receptions out of you. Just put your foot down with these parents. Don't let their money take away your time from focusing on your marriage. What are these parents going to ask of you next-- a plan for all future holidays and vacations?

This is why I hate mother in laws because they usually make everything about them and its making me sick!!! Before my mother in law decided not to come to our wedding she complained about everythig...my dress, what she has to wear, the colors, etc...Tell her to stop asking you and if she keeps crossing boundaries or gets upset maybe its time for your FH to take a stand and reconsider her invitation.