Mini rant: thank you cards

At least you got one! I was just talking to FH about a few weddings we have been to and never received a thank you note. I just don't understand why you would not send one!

I'll be honest I appreciate when someone says anything at all. Most people don't even bother anymore. The pre printed I usually just giggle at and toss in the trash. I wouldn't let it get under your skin too much.

Honestly, stuff like this wouldn't bother me. I honestly don't even notice if I don't get a thank you card. Isn't the reception the "thank you" for your guests? I have always planned to send thank you notes because it is proper etiquette but honestly this isn't something I'd even notice. I throw thank you cards out after reading them anyway,

I don't like preprinted thank you cards especially without a message but I'd rather have a preprinted card than no thank you card at all. I went to a wedding with an ex-boyfriend who happened to be in the wedding and we never got a thank you card. I was so pissed off about not being thanked for their gift (cash) and the fact they didn't send a thank you to my ex boyfriend for spending time and money to be in the wedding.

I have been to five weddings in the last year, sent one gift to a wedding I couldn't attend, and one baby shower. I have received one thank you note and two thank you texts. The baby shower even had us pre-address our own envelopes for the thank yous. Still nothing. I actually wonder if two of the weddings received our gift. Its just so rude. There is no excuse for not sending a thank you note.

I hate that shit! I am writing a couple cards a night so they don't get lazy and stay personal!

My BFF did preprinted thank you cards with a pic of her and fh's first kiss at the altar and a short message. I loved it. I also thought it was good because we actually got a professional wedding pic which is pretty rare from the previous weddings we've been to. I didn't see anything wrong with it.

ETA: I would be more upset about the cash bar than the preprinted card

I find those annoying too and if that's all the card said then all they did was literally thank you for coming and not for your gift. That's why it's important to actually write the notes and specifically mention the gift they gave so you can acknowledge receipt of the gift while you are expressing your gratitude and how nice it was to see them. I had a large wedding, almost 200 people. DH and I personally wrote over 75 thank you notes and they were all out within 3 weeks of the wedding. We divided them up and did a handful each evening after dinner. It's really not that difficult. Most of the time you can even say nearly the exact same thing in all of them if you want to, just substitute what the gift was, so you don't even have to be all that creative!

People have a year to give wedding gifts.

Thank You notes should be sent ASAP.

Do them as you receive the gifts (some may be mailed to you a month or two before the wedding). It is OK to wait until after the honeymoon -- if you go on the honeymoon immediately after the wedding. If you wait months to go on the honeymoon, do the TY notes right after the wedding.

I do think it is rude, tacky & lazy to send a preprinted thank you card. All they did was write name, address and add a stamp. We gave a $500 gift, it was a New Year’s Eve black tie wedding, had to buy a black gown and he had to rent a tux. Ok we chose to go, but the point is, we put effort into being a part of their special day. I will top it all off: not only did we get a preprinted thank you for the generous gift post card, it was addressed to my boyfriend of 5 years (his name) “& guest”! My name was on the wedding card that the generous gift came in. They couldn’t take the time to find out my name! A phone call to the grooms father who is a family friend going back to my boyfriend’s mother’s childhood & he works 2 doors down and sees him every day, I wasn’t just a date he brought. It made me feel hurt, and some will say I am overreacting, don’t take it personally, but etiquette does matter. Remember a time in your life when a thoughtful note from the heart touched you? It does matter.

I know this is an old thread, I was just bothered by the card enough to google if that is etiquette nowadays. I sound old lol! I am divorced but when I got married, my ex and I sat down together and opened every wedding card. We wrote down each name and the gift they gave us. It wasn’t that hard. Then I wrote 10 thank you cards a day each personal and handwritten. Most of the notes sounded the same and It took time, but we felt it meant something to the guest that we appreciated that they shared our special day.


On another rant (I promise I’ll stop 😂) we also got a save the date a year ago from another wedding and last month we received a printed mass uninvitation as they realized they invited too many people and decided to downsize! At least it was almost 9 months away but that was a first. It was a wedding to an old friend, also close to his dad for years. Times have changed, lol! I understand financial reasons etc, but you would think they would have thought that through first.