Mismatched China

To be honest, the best part of the "look" of mismatched plates is the contrast when the dinner plate, salad plate, and bread plate are stacked on top of one another. Having a table of ten plates that don't match, with no other additional pieces, is not going to achieve the look I think you are going for.

And in terms of the gift -- what if a piece gets broken? As a bridesmaid (and a type A one at that) I would be a bit annoyed if I received an odd number of plates.

Jacks, as a bridesmaid, I would love to have a gift of dishes that were used in my best friend's wedding. I think that is a great memento. Obviously, not everyone feels the same way, but I wouldn't be giving it to them just to avoid having to buy them a gift. I would give it because I think it's a cool gift that I would love to have, would carry sentimentality, is less wasteful than buying something else, and would fit in with most of my friends' taste/lifestyle. I'm not sure why I need a spoon if there won't be any soup, and coffee will be self serve at a station with plain dishes.

Liraea, I've looked at plenty of pictures on Pinterest of tables set with single mismatched dinner plates, and I think it looks great. Also, I will be having 11 bridesmaids, so if I gave each a set of 12 and kept a set of 12 for myself, that would be 143 plates. If I am having 250-300 guests, there would be plenty of dishes to make us each a set should some break during the evening. The remainder, I would either donate or try to sell to recoup some money. One of the nice things about having a "set" of mismatched china is that if a piece breaks somewhere down the line or you want to add to it, all you have to do is pick up any dish that you like from a thrift store, garage sale, wherever without having to find the perfect match.

Mahalobeauty, that is so awesome that they were re-donated. I really try to cut waste wherever possible, and so purchasing second-hand items and then re-gifting them either to friends or charity makes sense to me personally on so many levels.

Well you seem to be convinced, so that's what you'll do. Its not an etiquette issue so go for it.

I would advise that if you're set on skipping spoons entirely, please reconsider. They're handy at a place setting.

Not dinner plate related, but another way to incorporate China are those really cute candles or small plants in a vintage teacup for favors as long as you can figure out transportation for delicate items.

I wouldn't want a whole set of mismatched china from someone else's wedding because I already have dishes that I like, and I don't think it counts as a gift if you have to buy it for the wedding anyway. That would be like telling your bridesmaids that their bouquet is their gift.

I LOVEEEEE the look of mix match China and at one point I was starting to collect it for my own everyday use. It is time consuming and can get expensive.

For the wedding if you plan to purchase it all yourself, I would go for more casual. you will need a dinner plate, dessert plate and salad (if you're having it). you can probably skip the teacups and saucers on the table if you have a coffee bar set up. you won't need 250 of them in this case because not every single guest will have coffee, but Idk the formula to figure out how many you do need!

PP make great points. only you know what you're comfortable with money wise and work wise. If I saw either of these place settings I wouldn't be judging as a guest.

Thanks, A Bride! That is a great suggestion, and I will consider it.

Jacks, I'm not convinced of anything right now. I'm just in a brainstorming phase, and I'm open to suggestions. Can you elaborate on why you think a spoon is necessary? I'm genuinely curious. I will most likely just be renting plain silverware. I'm not sure if they come as a package or cost extra. If extra, I would prefer to leave them off since I can't think of any use for them, but if I'm missing something, please let me know!

Katie90, Like I mentioned before, I understand not everyone would love having a set of mismatched china. I think it is really hard to pick a gift that EVERYONE will love. Honestly, I've never loved any gifts I've gotten as a bridesmaid and no longer even own them. I would actually prefer that the bride save her money. As far as giving something I am buying anyway, I have a different mentality than you do. I think of it as being resourceful and avoiding waste. In my opinion, it is useful, unique, and lasting unlike the bouquet that you mentioned. I wouldn't want to just buy them some trinket that qualifies as a real gift because I didn't use it in my wedding. I've been to weddings where the favors are part of the decor--I didn't consider it not to be a gift because it was used in the wedding; instead, I thought that was genius! Much better than buying extra gifts that many people wouldn't even appreciate. My friends threw me a baby shower, and they purchased little socks and things that they strung up on clotheslines and little wooden initials that were set up around the house as decor, which was then gifted to me. I think that is so great that they were able to do double duty like that. I much prefer that to wasting materials/$/time etc. on other decorations plus a gift. I am also confident that this type of gift would fit in with most of my friends' taste/lifestyle, but I am still going to discuss it with them because I don't want to give it if it will go to waste. If they don't want it, then they don't have to take it. My friends aren't the type that expect something in return for participating in my wedding. I feel the same way. I don't want a bride to have to buy me anything for being part of her day.

Thanks, Pahina2016! I'm thinking I'll just use plain tableware at a self-serve dessert/coffee bar. Our meal will most likely be barbecue with barbecue-style sides (pretty casual), so I am leaning towards a dinner plate being enough. I love the look, too, and would like to keep a set for myself and potentially give a set to each bridesmaid if she would like one. If not, I will try to resell or donate. I have to stick to my budget, otherwise it won't work out for me. I don't mind the time/ because I have over a year, I actually enjoy thrift store scouring, and I'm pretty systematic. I will set a weekly goal for myself for acquiring china and wash/store as I go. I will have plenty of help after the wedding for washing, storing, and distributing it.

Hi @Ivana! Spoons are just part of a standard place setting. I fear that otherwise the place setting might look too "summer camp". In addition, I use spoons to eat with, especially if there is gravy, sauce or pasta.

Good luck with your planning!

I say skip this. Go with the plating from the caterer or rent plain ones

I love A Brides idea too!

@Jacks We did not have spoons, and it did not look "campy" (or at least I disagree with you saying that it would be campy). We had BBQ, for goodness sake's; there was nothing we needed spoons for so it would have been silly to spend the $0.50pp on spoons just for the "look".

As for desert plates, we actually used the really thick clear plastic plates as we figured people would mingle while they ate cake and not sit at their seat (which is what happened). I didn't want someone walking around with fine china that I had rented and had a breakage charge of $10/plate.

@Ivana Sets are much more expensive than the individual pieces (that's what drove me away from buying and towards renting. The cost of sets of china --even just dinner plates--were prohibitively expensive). And if I were to receive a set of china as gifts, I would want them to match. I think that would be a beautiful and sweet gift if that's something you truly think your BMs would enjoy. For me, I wouldn't know what to do with china (even if they did match) since our house is around 1000 sqft and is a lake house/cabin, so china just does not fit with our lifestyle.

I *do* think mismatched china is possible for you, but I would strongly encourage that you wait to commit to china until you have your budget more firmly in place and have finished booking your major vendors. I remember the sticker shock as I started to look for quality vendors, and I had to adjust my budget accordingly. This was an area where I would cut first.

ETA: An area I cut was chiavari chairs. I wanted them so badly, and, while they could have fit in our budget, I couldn't justify spending triple the price on chiavari chairs when the garden chairs were just as nice. I decided to use the extra money towards a mundane generator and tent heater to make sure the lights stayed on and my guests were comfortable.

Hi VWCat, Thank you for your thoughtful response! I totally agree about the sticker shock! I am in the process of looking at venues and photographers now, and it certainly is expensive. I am not committed to anything at this point. Just in the brainstorming phase still, so I'm totally open to suggestion/change. We really must stick to our budget. We are paying for a good chunk of it ourselves, and we have two kids and a mortgage, which helps put things like china and chairs in perspective I am a pretty resourceful gal, though, and I'm confident that we'll be able to pull off a beautiful wedding that will be a ton of fun. Plus, the best part is that I'm marrying my man, and china and chairs ain't changin' that!

Here is what we have learned. 8 months ago my daughter decided she wanted mismatched blue and white plates on gold chargers. We thought because we were 1 and a half years from wedding date we would no have a problem finding plates and on budget. Well the task was much harder as we still need about 30 dinner plates but will be well worth it as it looks beautiful on Gold chargers. We have since learned that the caterer provides all china although solid white. I work full time and work on y daughters wedding in evenings full time to give her her dreams on a very tight budget. As far as rules, I have learned yes there are rules for every situation but your ideas are ok too. If you decide to do mismatched it is a lot of work but may be very rewarding. Our caterer will clean and bus the dishes and have washed and at back door for us all packed. Hint Milk crates which are $9 at Home Depot are sturdy enough to hold 25 to 30 dinner plates and stack easy. Just lay a towel in and place paper towel between plate layers and works great. Tip was from our caterer. Hope this helps.

Are you on the WW Bride-2-Bride Facebook page? Someone just posted a bunch of mismatched China they're selling for $2 a piece.

If this is something that you really like the idea of and want to put the time and effort into it, I would got for it. You have plenty of time until the wedding. I don't think the bread plate is necessary, but I really like to have my salad on a separate plate. I would only give the silverware that is needed and I would use a nice napkin w/ring to add some flair to the place setting.

Honestly? I don't even like the look. It looks like breakfast at grandma's.

As a bridesmaid, I would be really annoyed if I was expected to cart off $6 worth of mismatched plates as my gift. I would actually rather receive nothing than be used as a convenient disposal for wedding stuff you don't want anymore.

If you decide to buy the plates, you might consider donating them to charity afterwards. Donationtown.org will help you find a charity that accepts kitchenware as a donation.

Our caterer doesn't have dishes, so we are doing mismatched china for 175 guests. I am collecting dinner plates, salad plates, cake plates, teacups, and saucers. It's actually been way easier than I thought: I live in a larger city, and we just stop at thrift stores when we can. I have around 135 complete settings right now, and I've spent $300. I've found a lot at Goodwill and Christian thrift stores. I'm trying to keep it at $2 a guest, and so far it's worked. It has been a lot of work to pack the dishes. I would recommend keeping track of them as best you can---I'm labeling the boxes and recording the information in a Google Doc.

I am hoping to recoup some of the cost but realize it might be unrealistic to get it all back. I've noticed they're really high priced on Craigslist, Bride-to-Bride pages, etc. I'm not sure how these people fair in selling them. If you know of anyone getting married, you could offer to rent them out. (I'm doing this for a wedding three weeks after mine.) I've also heard of a caterer buying someone's collection.

Anyway, I hope this is helpful! We do not know what we're doing for silverware yet---possibly a nicer looking disposable set.