Missing wedding gift

You definitely shouldn’t ask them. While gifts are nice, they are by no means required.

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Okay. I just never heard of anyone attending a wedding and not giving a gift and wanted to make sure it wasn't lost.

Oh my goodness, no. Absolutely do not ask about the lack of gift! Not only would it be in poor manners, it would also be incredibly awkward. Simply send a thank you note without mention of gifts. Something to the effect of “Thank you for joining us to celebrate our marriage. Your presence made our special day even more special.”

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I didn't mention anything about gifts in my thank you cards. I said something along the lines of what you wrote. I just never heard of anyone attending a wedding and not giving a gift.

View Quoted Comment It happens A LOT. If you just do a Google search or even a search here on WeddingWire, you will see that most weddings have at least one guest (sometimes more) who does not bring a gift for whatever reason.
The purpose of guests are not to bring gifts though. They are invited to share in a special moment with you because they are cherished people in your life. There is no gift requirement to attend a wedding, and lack of bringing a gift should never be brought up to the person/couple; nor should it be discussed with others (ie, it is in incredibly bad taste to tell friends, family members, other guests, etc. that so-and-so didn’t give you a gift).

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I didn't mention it to others and would never. I honestly didn't realize it happens a lot. In my culture, it's considered an actual personal insult and disrespectful, so maybe it's just a cultural difference.

View Quoted Comment You are definitely not alone, it happens a lot. I would just remind myself that the most important thing was that they showed up and celebrated a special moment with you. Then I would just let it go and not think about it again.

You can send a generic "thank you for joining us" card if you wish. If they did get you a gift, they will reach out to you and asked if you received it.

A gift is not a gift if it's required (A card with well wishes and a bottle of wine can go a long way in most events). Remember, you chose how much to spend on your wedding, you chose the food, the venue, the guest list, and all the bells and whistles. The only thing guests have a say in is their attendance, attire, and how much (should they choose) to spend on a gift. Some people simply cannot afford to give a gift, especially if travel, lodging, new clothes (depending on formality), etc are involved. Would you rather this couple not have attended your wedding?

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I didn't even get a card, but I understand what you are saying.

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In my culture we have the exact same practice - if you attend a wedding you wouldn't dare go empty handed (and people will RSVP no if they can't afford to give a reasonable gift) so I can understand where you are coming from.

Even with that cultural practice in mind, if three months has passed and no gift has been received, I would assume that none was intended to be given and you should leave it as that without making mention of it to the couple in question. I know there are many people on WW who state that according to etiquette, wedding gifts can be gifted up to 12 months post wedding but I think that's total bogus - if someone doesn't bring a gift to the wedding (or doesn't make arrangements in the following weeks to deliver the gift, if it is bulky) then they don't intend on giving anything.

I had a few people attend my wedding and not give a gift. I didn’t ask, but I also did not send a thank you for attending.

It’s very common for some people to not bring gifts but it is inappropriate to mention it to guests in any way. Etiquette says that guests have 12 months following the wedding to give a gift if they choose, but a gift is never required. The current generation pushes the idea of no physical gifts at all, preferring money instead that many people are not comfortable gifting.



Leave it alone and send a thank you note for them sharing the day with you.

This happened to us. I honestly think that we lost the check since it the wedding was at a hotel. I still sent my friend a thank you card for being there and celebrating with us.
We also had a couple friends who later sent us a monetary gift later.

It would be incredibly rude to bring up that they didn’t give you a gift. They’re not at all required and shouldn’t be expected.

Yes, it's not uncommon for guests not to provide a gift.

Girl no. asking is tacky. maybe they could not afford to give something.

It would be in poor taste to inquire about not receiving a gift even if you think it’s lost in the mail. Also, etiquette gives guests 12 months to purchase a wedding gift and gifts aren’t mandatory.

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Thank you for being understanding