Mixed Feelings About Name Change?

I'm strangely unattached to my last name. From the second I got engaged, I was so excited for my new last name, even though they're slightly similar. That's just me though.

You might have noticed it took me a while to change my FB name.

I really struggled with it. For me, I didn't want to lose my last name, my connection with my family. Idk, I guess once I did it on Fb, it kind of got the ball rolling. Now that I got my new soc card and ID, I just want to get it all changed so it's not half assed.

I'm attached to it but I was all excited about it before the wedding and now I feel so nervous about it. Like I loved things with our names on it, bought things with the new name, replaced a lot of my monogrammed things, I just can't get myself to put it in writing.

Edit: I did notice Trisha was it easier once you just took the first step? I won't be doing anything official until we move just because I'm stubborn and won't change my residency. But my military ID has my new name on it and I was excited for that. They just didn't ask me what name I wanted and put his on there so I didn't have time to think about it.

I've noticed people change it on FB even though it's obviously not changed right that second.

I mean, to where they've been married a year and had a baby and showed the birth certificate and it had the mom's maiden name... while on FB it's her husband's last name. So, I don't know. :/

I actually haven't changed my name yet. I did it on facebook just for the social aspect of it (and as a result, I am very confused when packages arrive at my house with my married name). I plan on actually changing it before february since my passport renews in february. The good news is that there's no time limit on when it must be done! You can sit there and think about it some more.

I am of the personal opinion that it is a name, not an identity, so neither party should really be all that invested in changing it or keeping it. But I can understand why people would. I would definitely NOT recommend leaving it one way at work and having your legal name be something else, though, as your tax documents may be submitted incorrectly (and at my job, it's not allowed for me to do it).

I haven't changed my name on my drivers license yet I'm gong tomorrow. Have a flight tomorrow night that is in my new last name. EVERYONE calls me by my last name, so it was extra hard. I've gotten at least a dozen texts with screen shots of people making jokes refusing to ever give up my old last name nickname

I think it did make it easier after the first step. I like my new last name. France is pretty cool. But my old name just has a lot of sentimental value.

@Janeen absolutely, once it's legally changed then everything's changed. I think the big thing I'm running into is no longer having the same name as my siblings. It sounds weird but there's 6 of us and we're a pretty tightknit bunch and I'm the first to be married. @Ally I think that's probably the way to do it if you need to ease into it lol. @Emily our combined last name's become kind of offensive so everyone's just used those through the whole planning process and refuses to switch to just one because it's 'funnier' that way.

@Trisha I'm the same way, I like my new last name. It's the same length, it's already a word, it's all good. Plus I get to move up in alphabetized things. I think I just need to take the plunge!

I get it, for sure. Most people call have always called me by first and last- even though that sounds weird.

Jenn Bliss.

Jenn Baker just doesn't quite have the same ring to it! I changed it on facebook- but doubt I will on anything else for quite awhile.

I am having similar issues with the idea of changing my last name. My FH actually calls me by my last name most of the time which is pretty funny (and confusing at my family events). I think I am going to keep both but on family stuff just use his. I have been freaking out about it for the past few weeks.

@Ally I don't know if it varies by state but I know that here in NJ the birth certificate gets the mother's maiden name no matter what her current last name is. My first daughter was born before I married my ex-husband so my maiden name was my current name. My second daughter was born after we were married and I had legally changed my name- they still put my maiden name on her birth certificate.

My last name is a boys name so I kinda can't wait to change it but maybe I'll feel your feelings after the wedding.

I'm going to have a hard time changing mine. It's a unique last name, and has come with a whole range of nicknames over the years. My sister and I are the only chance to pass on our name aside from extremely distant third cousins. I don't want a different last name than my children and husband, but it feels like I'm abandoning my family.

FH's last name is also really Jewish. I'm more religious than he is and I am so proud of my heritage, but it still feels really weird to me to go from a last name of ambiguous origins to one that's clearly Jewish.

I am going from an 11 letter last name to "Barber" so I cannot wait to change it haha I can understand your connection to it though. I think once you get the ball rolling and change one thing you will become more used to it. It was weird and kind of sad when my sister changed her last name and we didn't share it anymore... but when I viewed it as her starting her own family, I got really excited for her.

I'm having a hard time also, but for different reasons. I have a daughter and although she just turned 18 she wants me to keep our name (which is my maiden name). I understand she does not want to be the only one with a different last name and I don't want her feeling left out. Plus I love my last name. I may hyphenate. grrrrrr.....

No mixed feelings here. I went to the social security office a wk after we got married and changed it there, at the bank, at work, medical insurance, dental, 401k and on FB of course! Getting my new license next week - waiting for a day off.

I think one of my first posts here was about struggling with the thought of changing my name. @Jeanne, I felt the same way you do about not having the same name as siblings and parents anymore. My only sibling passed away almost 12 years ago and I feel like this is ending now with me and I hate that feeling. (and really, I am the end of it either way...we're not having children) I do WANT to change my name, I just didn't expect to have the internal struggle with it to the degree that I have. Something happened the other day though that kind of flipped the switch for me (I posted about it several days ago as a comment in another thread too on this topic)...my dad, on a whim, bought FH and I one of those wedding wand things...a silver tube to keep your marriage certificate in and also where we'll keep our wedding day notes to each other. He brought it over one evening and surprised us with it...he had it engraved with our wedding date and name as "FH & Summer FH's Last Name" When I read it, the very first thing that I thought was a relieving "it's ok"...almost like my dad was giving me his blessing to let the name go. Obviously that was not his intention because in his very traditional mind, there is no question about whether or not I'd be changing my name. I don't know why, but in that split second, I felt a whole lot better about it.

I actually won't be changing it for a few months after the wedding though. We planned a trip in April and have already booked air so I really don't want that hassle. I plan to start the process once we get back from that trip.

Yip, I was all for it until it was actually a real thing I had to do. Then I felt a weird sense of grief at losing my old last name. I started by just changing FB about 2 months after the wedding, now I have changed my business trading name and my email address. Haven't done any formal ID yet as it would just cause issues with work permits etc until I get a new passport. But it feels a lot more normal now!

I seriously can't wait to change mine. I have been waiting since the day we got engaged. Not that I don't love my last name, but there is something about us sharing the same last name that makes me SO happy! I can't wait