Mob/mog Dress Rant

As frustrating as it is, I would just go back to your original attitude of they can do whatever they want. Its really the easiest way out of the situation lol. There won't be that many pictures of your BMs with your MIL anyway

I would respond that you gave them a choice and that you likes these colors the best

I just wouldn’t put any more energy into it, and just let them choose what they want. Tbh, I think burgundy would look great with burnt orange! Especially for an autumn wedding.

Burgundy and Burnt Orange look so good together! It's up to you though.

I would let her wear what she pleases, it is your day and her outfit will not be distracting to your husband and yourself. My mother and MIL were happy to wear similar colors but we had no wedding party basically. Our sisters were MOH and Best Woman but they did not have to stand with us and were able to wear whatever they wanted. They then asked for my opinion and I told them if they'd like that my mom and sister could wear soft pink to compliment my ivory and champagne dress and my mil and sil could wear champagne to compliment my hubby who was wearing soft pink. Everyone thought it was some highly thought out plan that signified the two families uniting and we just thought it would be nice. It turned out to work out better than we thought possible.

I definitely think burgundy would look fine! I'd just stick to your original thing, I'd say "these colors were the ones I thought would be most cohesive, however you're more than welcome to do whichever color you prefer except white/shades of white, and the navy/burnt orange that the wedding party will be wearing, can't wait to see what you choose" and leave it at that

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That sounds pretty! The colors here aren't even my main issue at this point, I think. I am pretty much just over both of them telling me "It's up to you, just let me know," and then immediately fighting whatever decision I make. This whole dress thing is just the straw the broke the camel's back because I am crazy stressed about 500 other things wedding related and not, and having someone want to argue about the color of a dress is not something I really even need.

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Two of my bridesmaids are in FH's immediate family, so she'll have some with them. The color isn't the main issue at this point anyway, just over people in my family adding random stress to stuff that doesn't need to be stressful!

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I agree, I think this is the best approach! I'd be a little frustrated if I was you as well! Like why ask if you don't like what you're told? Family are the only ones that really have the capacity to drive us crazy in quite this way, aren't they, haha!

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We're all going dress shopping this weekend, so I'll be with them when they're trying them on. With how much both of them have been fighting me on everything, and now this, I'm sure I'll be in for a super fun day lol.

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That is honestly my biggest issue! Like I told you both originally I didn't care, why did you push to make me give you an answer and then argue with me over it! They've both done this about multiple things so far and it's been driving me up the wall along with other life stress I've got going on.

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I'm sure they'll look great together, I'm definitely more upset about the fact that this isn't the only thing they've done this to me about. Other stuff I didn't care as much because I knew I wanted those things the way I chose and I don't care what they think. This is frustrating because they were open to choose what they wanted until they forced me to make the choice, now they're telling me it's the wrong one. I knew I'd be over it eventually, and I'm already getting there. I just figured I might as well rant on here than to complain to FH about his mom again lol.

View Quoted Comment I completely get why you are frustrated! This is totally something one particular friend of mine would do! 😆 It’s silly stuff like this that’ll just work your nerves and drive you nuts! Lol Vent away, girl!

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I agree with this. They can keep asking you, but just keep saying they can wear what they want and then change the subject. Don't let them make their worries YOUR worries.

Don't let WW and other wedding forums influence you to feel like you need an opinion on parts of your wedding you didn't previously care about. The wedding industry is all about trying to sell couples on ideas of the perfect wedding. They want you to be unsatisfied unless you've spent hours and thousands of dollars pouring over every detail.

Many colors can work with burnt orange and navy - nearly any color that fits in a "fall" wedding palette, including burgundy, shades of green, and darker dusty blue tones. You are absolutely not limited to neutral and metallics.

You want your moms to feel comfortable and confident on your wedding day. Neutrals and metallics are not universally flattering on all skin tones, and forcing them into colors that don't flatter them isn't going to be a win for anyone. Our wedding colors were dusty pink and navy, with an emphasis of soft spring hues, and when my mom tried on softer tones like champagne she was obviously uncomfortable because she felt like those colors washed her out. So for our wedding, instead of telling our moms what to wear, I simply informed them of our wedding colors and asked them not to clash. They both had plenty of colors to choose from while avoiding red, orange, and neon hues.

I would simply inform your moms of your wedding colors, ask them to pick something they think would coordinate, and request that they run any options by you before purchasing. Sending you a link or texting a photo of a dress in a store is pretty easily, and that way you can have a final say in what they get without being a bridezilla and demanding something specific that they hate. The goal should be for a wedding that looks cohesive, not one that looks like you hired a design team and models for a perfectly styled wedding shoot.

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WW didn't influence me to tell them what to wear, they themselves brought it up to me asking what colors they should wear and then forced me to give an answer after originally telling them it didn't matter. All of this drama has literally been started and continued by them since they didn't take "it doesn't matter to me" as an answer. We're going this weekend to shop for their dresses and I've already told them again that I don't care. None of this rant truly had to do with the actual colors, I was more upset that they brought on unnecessary stress by forcing me to make a decision and then deciding that decision was wrong.

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For some people it can be helpful to have some guidance, even if minimal. "I don't care" might have left them with too many choices to choose from, and then when you provided specific colors they didn't like, it was suddenly the wrong choice.

I understand your frustration, but you being frustrated and your moms being disagreeable isn't getting anyone anywhere. Also, when your MIL suggested a color (that would work with your wedding colors, but you didn't like) you pushed back, so clearly you do care. Telling your MIL you don't care but then nixing her suggestion sends mixed messages. Lack of clear communication isn't helping anyone in this situation.

That's why I'm advocating for loose guidelines. A wider range of colors might be a good compromise. It might satiate your moms need to feel like they are going along with wedding and will look the part of MOB/MOG, but still give them the freedom to pick something they like and feel comfortable in.

Shopping with them this weekend sounds like a good option, but you should go into is prepared to calmly communicate your wishes and being open to their reasonable feedback and suggestions. Also, I'm not sure if you are shopping with both moms at once or each one on one, but I would carefully consider the dynamics of those situations. Is there a chance the moms could gang up on you and leave you feeling worse and more desperate? Is your future spouse joining?Do you have a bridesmaid who might be able to join and be a neutral "third party" voice of reason and mediator if the communication starts breaking down and people get frustrated?

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I didn't nix her color. I would've loved to out of spite but didn't respond until I fully calmed down and told her that as long as the colors go together I don't care. Everything is fine and neither of them actually know I was frustrated at all. I am fully back to not caring and I'm sure this weekend will go fine.

In my other comments I said that this post was mostly a way for me to get my original frustrations out without ranting to my FH about his mom. We got another dog 2 weeks ago which hasn't really gone as we expected, along with work frustrations, crazy schedules, and wedding planning back in full swing have brought a ton of stress for both of us and this was the straw that broke the camel's back for me that day.