moh and 2 of 3 Bms ditched my bachelorette party

So u planned ur own bachelorette/bridal shower? I think normally these things r planned and thrown for u. Im sorry ur plans fell through.

Well you shouldn’t have planned your own party. Maybe that left a bad taste in their mouth. They’re also not required to attend anything other than the actual wedding. You should just let it go

Echoing the above posts - and likely the ones to follow mine - you dont plan your own shower or bacherlorette. This is something someone in your bridal party or family offers to do for you if they desire.

If they werent consulted or had a hand in planning, but were rather "instructed " via invitation on what to do, they dont have an obligation to attend.

The word instructed really rubs me the way. Do you speak to your BP the same way you talk about them?

I don’t mean to sound unkind, but if I was invited to a party and then told to buy a ticket, I’d conveniently forget about it too.

Agreeing with the above posts that you shouldn't have planned things yourself, but on the flip side maybe they weren't being catty and really just forgot. I'd be bummed too. Perhaps you can look online at a third party site and see if anyone has tickets they are selling? You could tell your girls you would love to have them there then point them to the website.

I actually planned my own bach with my mom and sister — but we are paying for the Airbnb and food ourselves. They just show up, and I asked one BM to bring Cards against Humanity. Like others have said, I guess they didn’t want to be invited to a party and instructed to purchase tickets. I know you probably just didn’t realize this though so I am sorry it didn’t work out for you!

I think it is better to "ask" or "invite" rather than "instruct." No one is obligated to attend. However, I also feel like (with the exception of emergencies) people should RSVP in advance and let you know that they decline the invite (rather than just failing to purchase tickets).

The invite “instructed” or “told” or “advised” (synonyms you see) to purchase tickets ahead of time if they’d like to join. The invite reads “7:00 PM SHOW - please be sure to buy your ticket well in advance if you would like to attend.” I can’t buy all of their tickets at $100 each especially if they’re unsure if they’ll go. I’ve paid for the hotel, nice gifts, the hair/makeup, took them all all to mani/pedis to bond and show them I appreciate them, etc.

I planned my own bridal shower/bachelorette party because no one stepped up and offered to help me. I didn’t even want one but they pressured me into being “more traditional” then left me hanging. They haven’t offered to help at all for the wedding so I’ve taken everything on myself to make it easy on all of them as I hate to be a burden. I haven’t resented them for that. So far they’ve only been asked to please but the dress and please show up to the shower and wedding. They all agreed to a date and confirmed they’d go. Planning this wedding has been a lonely experience for me. I was happy just to quietly elope but ended up doing as others wanted me to the whole time.

Also thwy all RSVPd that they were all going to attend. I chose the date based on when thwyd all be available since they all confirmed they were going.

I basically planned my own bachelorette too. I'm sorry they can't make it.. I understand, since my MOH doesn't want to go to mine.

Just try to have the best time you can with the people who are coming.

Sorry it's not turning out as you planned :/ but you can still have fun with the one bridesmaid that's attending!

I think that it's fine you planned your own bachelorette party. However, you can't assume people will be okay with buying tickets to a show or anything else. If I get an "invitation" to a party, I kind of assume most things would be provided. Knowing it is a bachelorette party, I would assume I would pay for meals and maybe lodging, but putting a note on the invitation probably wasn't the way to go.

Not sure what advice I have, other than to try to schedule a time to celebrate with those that can't be there and enjoy what you have planned!

Sorry your plan fell through but, people's lives don't stop because we are getting married. Maybe they legitimately forgot. Maybe they were waiting for pay day and the tickets sold out. You were inviting them somewhere and telling them that they needed to pay for it. You should let it go and go and have fun with the bridesmaid that is going. I don't see why they can't join you guys at the hotel room later.

Side note: You can usually find tickets to sold out events on Stub Hub.

I paid for their dinners, drinks, and hotel for the night of my bachelorette party but yeah I’m sure they were really struggling to pay for that very inexpensive ticket. You guys are right I should’ve held your hand through the entire wedding - I know buying a ticket two months in advance is pretty difficult. Just like I should have bought their dresses for them so one wouldn’t scramble to find it less than a month before the wedding...

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You are very generous to pay for all those things. I just feel the need to respond that I certainly wouldn't consider a $100 ticket very inexpensive. Especially if it's a show that they aren't interested in, I wouldn't want to pay $100 for that. I'm sorry you are frustrated. I'm just a little confused. Did you have your bachelorette party already or is it coming up? Your post made it seem like it hasn't happened yet, but here you say you've paid for their dinners, drinks, and hotel for the night of your bachelorette party. If it hasn't happened yet, you can cancel the hotel rooms and save the money on dinner and drinks and just have a night out with the one friend who go the ticket. When they talked you into doing this in the first place, did they mention anything about what they thought you would do? I can understand your frustration, and not to be harsh, but it seems like you put yourself in this situation. If they made the suggestion and never followed through with planning, you shouldn't have planned anything and sent invitations. When you host a party, you do tend to get stuck with the majority (if not all) of the costs, so by hosting this party you kind of set yourself up for this. Especially, if there was no discussion about budget with the BP. Does your friend who did buy the ticket have the money to pay for her own dinner, drinks, and hotel? Is the show far enough away from you that you need the hotel? I would probably just turn this into a dinner and show date with my friend and not bother with the hotel if it's drive-able. Maybe see if she could split the dinner bill with you, so you don't have to pay. Even though they had two months, if they live paycheck to paycheck or had another unexpected expense come up, that $100 ticket might not have been possible regardless of how much notice they had. If you consider $100 inexpensive, they may have been embarrassed to say something to you about it and just said they forgot. The good news is that you are in the home stretch and can just focus on the most important thing, which is marrying your love. Good luck.

I would have been offended that you planned your own bachelorette, like a hostess ( not the guest of honor). But then failed to pay for all lodging, food, and activities or event tickets, which a party hostess should do. ( only for the wedding itself or shower do people automatically pay own lodging.) The bachelorette is usually something others volunteer to do, and people pay their own expenses, and often some of bride's. But you set time and place and activities,. Like inviting people to a wedding, then asking them to buy their meal, pay for drinks, and split the cost of the photographer, DJ, and florist. Simply not the way it is done, and no one has the slightest obligation to go along. Clearly your WP did not think so. Your expectations were not realistic. I wanted to plan a women's weekend of the type I wanted, too. I knew a few people were talking of something I would not have liked. More their style than mine. The difference is, I did check on dates with them and let them know what I had in mind. And I did pay for the resort motel unit, bedrooms off common KLD. And I bought groceries, paid for meals out, bought show and concert tickets, paid resort waterfront lake fees, and supplied small boats and hammocks. They knew upfront that I was hosting a party of my own choice, flexible about people attending 4 hours or 3½ days, and that I was doing what is proper when a bride of anyone else holds a house party at home ir in rented quarters: I paid the bills. I'm not rich, and at wedding time was poor. We paid our own, after paying our own grad school. So I worked extra jobs for money to hold a women's party weekend as it should be when the bride plans it. By proper hosting of guests. It is sad that you did not have the company you wanted on the event you wanted. But you went about things in a non-traditional way, ignoring what is usually done. 😢

If they told you they were going to come and then "forgot" I'd be extremely hurt too. Regardless on if you threw your own or not. They told you they were coming. I'd be incredibly disappointed that only one person was coming.

However, can't change it...so just party up with this girl!

I'm sorry no one offered to throw you one That really REALLY sucks.