moh asking for money for bachelorette props

Whenever I’ve been a BM, I’ve pitched in for these things. I don’t think any costs should solely fall on the MOH unless it was her idea and no one else wanted them.

No one has to pay for anything they dont want to. You can not attend or say that you cant afford that. How much could a veil, garter and hats costs split between 2+ people?

That being said if she wanted money for it, she should've communicated that to you guys beforehand so you could agree yes/no. The props arent necessary and you shouldnt be forced to pay for them.

Every wedding I’ve been in the MOH plans the events but the bridal party contributes.

Every one I’ve been to everyone adds the total of whatever and splits it across the number of people minus the bride

If she expected the BM's to chip in for the costs, she should have asked you ahead of time, and clarified that everyone was ok spending money. Having said that, it is normal for the bridal party to share those costs where I live. The other costs are shared equally among all who attend.

I think it's normal for everyone to contribute a little if they are attending, but the main host takes care of the bulk of it. For my shower, my mom is the main host and paying for the bulk (venue, catering, invitations), but my moh and bridesmaids are all contributing little things like decorations. For my bachelorette, everyone is paying for themselves to go, I'm not aware of any extras but if there are any I'm sure everyone would be splitting the cost.

I would think you would contribute, but the MOH should have discussed a budget upfront. If you can't afford it, then have a discussion with her.

All of the weddings I've been in I've always paid for a portion of any party and paid part of the "props".

For all of the bachelorette's I've been a part of, we've all decided jointly on the main party (location, activities, etc.) and split the cost of lodging, event tickets, dinners, etc. evenly. All of the other little things (props, decorations, etc.) were purchased by whomever offered.

If you're a BM, and you're attending, you should be chipping in. Any bachelorette party I attended as a BM, we all contributed equally to the costs (and covered the costs for the bride). The MOH shouldn't be responsible for paying for the whole thing, that's ridiculous.

That being said, the MOH should be communicating with all the BMs up front about items/costs before booking or purchasing anything.

The MOH should have asked all of the BMs prior if they were willing and able to contribute and for a budget first. From my experience, it is common for the BMs to be involved with planning/contribute funds for the party.

If you are not able to/unwilling to give her money for these items just politely let her know that it is not possible. If there is something you are willing to contribute or something you want to help with then you could offer to do that instead. Don't feel pressured to spend a lot of money.

I would find it rude to be asked to give money for sometbing like that. The bridesmaids should agree together on a party/trip they can afford. But buying little things like costume pieces are just extra if one person feels so inclined. I would absolutely not give the extra $10 on demand, just out of principle.

You all should be discussing this ahead of time.

However bridal shower and bachelorette expenses do not fall solely on the MOH. That's kinda ridiculous. It should be divided up equally bases on what you all agree is a good budget and what you want.

I feel like I should also say that this is a destination party. We all each payed a pretty penny for travel and hotel. And now the MOH is asking for money towards this other stuff. I guess I am just surprised because at my bachelorette party, my MOH paid for all of the props and didnt even think to ask anyone else for money towards this. I too thought this came with being the maid of honor. I appreciate everyone’s feedback, thank you.

You could not possibly be more wrong. That is a cost that should absolutely be shared by all the bridemaids. Being MOH doesn't mean you're the bankroller for all the pre-wedding events.

View Quoted Comment I think you’re in the right here. Props are completely unnecessary, and something that can just be picked up by anyone if they feel like it. Not necessarily by the MOH, just by the person who feels they want them. It’s not like the party will be terrible without.

No one is forced to do anything. But the two weddings I have been part of, I have helped out.. however I offered. If the MOH is hosting, the costs should be on her.

View Quoted Comment I would also be upset if someone basically billed me after the fact for what is essentially plastic costumes that do not have any real purpose. I might choose to pick something up on my own, as MOH, as a bridesmaid, or simply a friend of the bride, but I would not respond well to someone asking me for money for that.

I’ve been a BM in several weddings and contributed to anything regarding the bride. It’s not necessary but I’d feel bad being at the event (shower or bachelorette) but didn’t help out. But that’s just me. Maybe she’s strapped for cash and can’t do anything else. Props are really not that expensive.

Ok then maybe its just the way this girl is communicating. No discussion of budgets or anything. She is picking stuff out and just asking me for money. And only me, because I am the only other bridesmaid that can attend. Everyone else that is attending are friends.