I had given my MOH the theme colors and I wanted to do light colors, more on white, blush tones, and I added burgundy like an accent. I told her I'd like her to wear rose gold, light colors because I only want my groom to have that accent color. She said light colors don't mesh with her and requested a darker color for her dress, so I added burgundy or even dark navy as an option for her. She went dress shopping and found some dresses, one popped up with a fushialike color (I've attached because the darn dress tag says it's purple but it's sooo not), and a red dress. None of these are part of my theme and I don't know what to do! I don't have bridesmaids and I told her this dress won't work because it's not part of the theme and she'll stand out like crazy. Is there such a rule that the MOH picks her own color? What do I do?
Did she already buy the dress? I would stand your ground. It is not wrong of you to want your MOH to pick a dress in your wedding colors.
Super
May 2019
c ·
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I think she was rude, especially since you ADDED more colors to accommodate her. I would ask her to return it and find something in the color you chose. She can suck it up for one dress. You chose great colors.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you explaining to her that its not a color in your palette. I'd tell her you offered burgundy and navy as darker options and you'd like her to find a dress in one of those colors. Maybe if she loves the style dress she picked she can call and ask if it comes in other colors. She can only dictate so much, what she wears can only go so far. You've given her a lot of freedom but she should still respect your wishes.
That's simply not true. There is a dress she can find in the generous amount of colors you've provided. We keep saying that's their ONE job. Get the right dress and show up.
You gave her plenty of options and it sounds like you are being very flexible she has no reason to complain. Tell her the dress won’t work. If she bought it she can return it. She says those are the only dresses that work for her body I guess she needs to continue shopping.
I would be upset and ticked off if one of my BM's did this & not much upsets me. She can either get what you gave to her as far as colors go, or come as a guest and wear whatever the heck she wants.
I don't think you're wrong to require her to wear a color you select. You have been very considerate offering her several colors to choose from and all of those colors are very common bridesmaid dress colors so she shouldn't have a hard time finding a suitable dress. This is literally the only thing required of her.
VIP
May 2018
Red Queen ·
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I don't think this is such a big deal personally- my MOH wore a dress that was not one of my colours but I gave her my blessing. We joked continually that she was not a napkin but a person and so could wear something she found flattering. I only had her in my bridal party. I don't really see why it's important that the wedding party wear the decor colours, personally, as long as they match/are colour coordinating with each other.
But you do have the right to request a specific colour- even a specific dress if you so choose. If that's what you want, then I would speak clearly.
Not cool- at all! When her wedding day rolls around, she can wear whatever, what color, she wants. She can even have you wear whatever color she wants. But not this time.
Since you don't have any other bridesmaids, I can imagine this must be a difficult conversation to have with your MOH, and I'm sure you're concerned with her feelings. I agree with everyone else, stand your ground. Perhaps either call her up or text her and say something like,
"It's very important to me that you stand by my side on my wedding day, and are comfortable with the dress you wear as my MOH. It does mean a lot to me that you are on board with my theme colors and are willing to work with me to make this work."
I don't necessarily think she's trying to be difficult or rude. She's the only one wearing the dress and since you gave her a few different colours I don't think it's that surprising for her to send you dresses she liked in a similarish scheme. Its not like she bought it already, she showed you what she liked for your input.
Just tell her those colours weren't quite what you were thinking of and ask her to keep looking. Maybe send her some examples of dresses you do like or stores with a wide range in the right colour. Not a big deal.
Nope she can keep shopping. Maybe take a day and go to a new city to explore or have her buy online. These stories are why I put everyone in the same dress!
Yeah no, she doesn't just get to pick another random color. Being a BM or MOH sometimes means having to wear dresses you don't like. You gave her a lot of wiggle room, don't let her take advantage of you.