moh Disaster

I see where you are coming from. My MOH is also getting married, her wedding is next year and mine is in 2021 so I'm trying my best to balance both my ideas and her ideas. Not the same situation I know, but it's hard when the people you thought would put the most effort in and make sure this time is the happiest for you, don't meet those expectations.

I can understand how you'd be upset that she's not as excited as you and that when she volunteered to throw the shower and was grossly under prepared. However there may be an underlying reason why she's become distant, have you tried reaching out to see what's going on?

Just send her the link to this post so she can see what you really think of her. Doubt you'd have to worry about her even showing up to the wedding after that so then you won't have to worry about her not being capable of whatever it is you're expecting of her on that day as well.

I'm so confused by this post and I'm obviously not the only one. She isn't your hired helper so idk why you are expecting so much from her. From my understanding from being in countless weddings and having my own wedding, the bridal party's only "job" is to wear the appropriate attire, show up on time, and not get hammered. All of the parties and the spending of her money is icing on the cake if she so choose to provide them for you.

Also, please try to take a step back and try to understand that bras are, by no means, any of your business. If she wears one or not is none of your business. If she forgot and is already embarrassed making her feel bad is unkind. It is important to keep perspective and remember to be a friend first.

I understand where you are coming from but ultimately no one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you. A lot of people have different expectations of what is amazing and what is not. It sucks you had to jump in because that shouldn't have happened but she shouldn't be "shamed" perse because it didn't meet your expectations. Its hard to plan these things because everyone has different taste and sometimes when so many people have their hands in the pot like this (while helpful to some) it can get even more chaotic and disorganized because everyone is on different pages. The Bach party typically yes you shouldn't have to pay for it BUT no one is obligated to pay for you too. its just a common courtesy but not required. We had a lot of plans for my bach party and everything fell through and I ended up planning my bach party. While my sister paid for my portion I am picking up the slack from my other girls who haven't been able to contribute fully yet.. but thats okay... They are my people and I care for them more than anything. I front all the money for bach party until everyone sent me their portions and I'm still waiting on some payments. I'm okay with this because I talked to my girls about it. Its always helpful to find out where everyone stands. Financially my MOH just had a baby and her and her husband are teachers so not collecting paychecks in the summer except for small side gigs. You need to sit down with your MOH and see if she is okay, like everyone else has said its not her responsibility to host these events for you and while yes she offered to do bridal shower you cant be mad because she did it. yes it may have been chaotic and not to your liking but it could have been the best she could do. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and while you're entitled to your feelings and opinions I don't think its anything to be mad at her for. Also side note: none of my girls did any vendor stuff with FH and I besides dress stuff (though I included my MOH in texts about how I felt about vendors and the planning process).

Except you are bashing her for only spending $100 on decorations which is a lot so apparently you do want monetary.

My MOHs are my sisters.

1 lives here and is very involved with my wedding as I am hers. She has come to food tastings with me, dress shopping with me, general wedding shopping with me and has sent me pictures of ideas etc. Yes she is planning the shower and bachelorette party so far too. BUT we also go days without talking about weddings and still do things like furniture shopping for her new house too.

The second one lives in NC she is not as involved. Yes she is excited and says she wants to be involved, but she has 4 kids 3 of which live with her (the other one is 22 and lives alone) and are in school and very active. She and I don't talk about a lot of wedding things, but I know that she cares.

All this to say that I love them both the same and I don't expect them to do it.

Also our family run showers different. I helped with my baby shower as did my sister. We set up together and I always expect to get in there and decorate and do things the day of and then get dressed.