Hi everyone. This is a difficult post. I got engaged on 4/4/19 and our wedding is 4/4/20. My MOH was unemployed for nearly all of 2019. I asked her in April if she would be my MOH and she agreed. I planned my own bachelorette because I knew what I wanted and knew she was inundated with job searching. She’s been great helping with resources and went bridal shopping with me. Note that because I’m in Seattle and our friends / family are in Florida, I opted NOT to have an engagement party or bridal shower.
Just before the holidays, she was offered a job with “25% travel.” Now she says that she isn’t sure if she will be able to make the bachelorette or the wedding. She says “if I’m in town, of course I’ll be there.” This flippant statement really pissed me off.
The bachelorette party and the wedding are an hour’s drive from her place. I live in Seattle and I picked the wedding and bach locations in Florida specifically to ensure it’d be easy on her and our other friends to attend.
She knew about the bachelorette date and the wedding date nearly a year ahead of time. Both are taking place on a Saturday. She said she didn’t want to tell her employer she’s busy those weekends because she fears being seen as uncooperative.
I essentially told her that if she can’t 100% commit to being at either event, then I need to assume she won’t be coming. We are less than 90 days from the wedding and she hasn’t done any dress fittings or shopping. The bachelorette hotel room I got is based on number of occupants, so everyone paid a little more to get a bigger room assuming that everyone is coming.
AITA for telling her if she can’t commit, she’s uninvited at this point?
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