moh not helping with Bridal Shower?

Did she offer to do the games or decorations? Or was she told to do them? No one is required to host or plan a shower, so if she didn't offer to help she shouldn't be expected to.

I am also a control freak and there are some things that I just have to let go of. For example I'm going to let my maid of honor handle what she can and I'll help her how I can. I know you want the day to be special but realistically as your maid of honor she doesn't have to help with pre-wedding events. It would be nice for her to step it up but it doesn't have to all be on her it can be all on the other bridesmaids if they also want to help. In regards to games they can find free ones that don't cost money. It can be a group effort but as a previous person said she's not obligated to do so and while it may be frustrating for you a really is it good to be upset if she's not pitching in. Technically while we as brides to expect the Bridesmaids and maid of honor to help host event as I have learned her only job is to show up on the day of the wedding and Stand By Your Side. I think you should stress about other things in regards to wedding but not that. If your sister is not stepping it up then I suggest communicate that to your future mother-in-law and maybe your mother a lot can help her coordinate activities for the bridal shower. Sorry that things are not going the way you would like to as I'm sure weddings' during coronavirus time is stressful enough I wouldn't add more stress on to your plate. At the end of the day as long as the bridal shower is just a fun event where you can hang out with the ladies even if it's not exactly how you would imagine it it's okay.

View Quoted Comment She brought it up in the beginning, and made it seem like she was going to do the planning. Said she had all these ideas. I think she was kind of bothered by my FMIL booking the venue and paying for the food. Idk.

The options you gave were to talk to her or calm down. I think you should talk to her, but I'm not sure that will help with the latter, and you definitely want to do that part. Since your other bridesmaids seem more than willing to help out with this, it might be a good idea to talk to them about what kind of guidance they want from your sister. If they're fine with planning the games and decor alone, but they're willing to follow her lead if she provides one, it'll be easier to go to her and say, "the shower is coming up. My fmil is handling most things, but she needs someone else to organize games and decor. You said early on that you wanted to plan it. Do you still want to plan these (essential) parts of it?" If she says yes and will accept help, you can connect her with your friends. If she says no or tries to brush you off, you can go back to your friends and let them do it (and maybe offer to pay for decorations if you're really worried about them). As a covid bride, and just a generally anxious person, I definitely know how hard it can be to give up control over things, but maybe if you can communicate enough to effectively delegate control over the shower to someone else, you'll actually be able to calm down and enjoy the process.

What is her personality usually? Does this behavior match who she is as a person?

View Quoted Comment This does sort of match it. But she was so excited in the beginning, and made it seem like she was going to be a big help and pushed me to do these celebratory things. But she's always going through these phases and can be more talk than action. She's a complicated person.
Also, I'm not the type of person to have parties for myself. There hasn't been a party in my honor since I my 10th bday lol. So I guess I didn't know what t[ expect from her in this situation.

Hello Jessie, how about this. My Maid or Matron of Honor didn’t even plan anything for me. At all.

The moh, bm, anyone else, have no responsibility to help host a shower, unless they volunteer to do it. Any close friend not in the WP, any other brides maid, and other family can volunteer. Regardless of what MOH talked about before,
If FMIL did all the other planning, it is pretty much her shower now. She, FMIL, should talk directly with your bridesmaids, or whoever would like to do it. Forget MOH as anything but an invited guest, for the shower. Do tell her if the other BM do want to do the games etc for FMIL, so she is off the hook. I think you have made a common mistake, and one WW promotes. You are the center of the wheel, and every person, FMIL, BM, MOH, other familiy and friends, each has a connection to you like a spoke on the wheel. But they are not connected to each other. They are NOT a team, with MOH your assistant. She is MOH because you have known her longer, or are closer, as an honor. But she is not your second in commad. You should nevet delegate her to communicate with MIL, or BM. You communicate with each, directly. If a group had volunteered to do a shower, each person to you, you would have let everyone know to plan with the others. You should have been the one to tell MIL which other people volunteered. ... 🙂Since reality tv and such syarted promoting team wedding, they have made the basic mistake of suggesting brides treat it like a job where MOH carries out all communicating and organizing. But many BP and Family, here MIL, never respond to that. They deal directly with you, or splinter off and do their own thing, or sit around and wait for you to put people together. You should not plan the shower
Got that right. But you should have put each volunteer together with FMIL, not expect direction from Sis MOH. Live and learn.

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Agree with all of this 100%. No one is obligated to host/plan anything for pre wedding events and the more you pressure, the more these people likely will not want to do anything. The bride should not be planning or giving input on any pre-wedding parties. Let it go and graciously accept what they do give.

I would guess that she felt pushed out by FMIL doing most of it. She may have had ideas for it but felt like FMIL took over - picking the restaurant and food is big. Your MOH now has to figure out entertainment at a place she had no input in when she likely feels at odds with the actual host.
I’d word it like “Hey do you have any entertainment set up? So and So is willing to do some of it too, here’s her number if you need it.”

View Quoted Comment Yes that's exactly what happened. My shower was late August and it was a great day. My sister and I did get into an argument shortly after I posted this. She didn't want to overstep my MIL. I was upset because I couldn't get MIL and sister to talk, and I wanted my sister to help because she originally made it seem like she was going to.
In the end, we made up and everything worked out! We've decided she'll be the one planning my baby shower when I have kids 😂

View Quoted Comment Good lord I did not see the date LOL
I’m glad it worked out!

View Quoted Comment Never once said anyone was obligated to do anything. I said in a previous comment, my sister talked about planning at first and then didn't seem to want to help at all. That's why I was confused and upset.
That being said, we got into an argument shortly after this post. But made up and my shower was in late August. It was a great day, I'm grateful for everything my bridal party and MIL did. And my sister said she'll be planning my baby shower whenever I have kids so there won't be any confusion. So no, I never pressured anyone and clearly didn't make her not want to do anything.

View Quoted Comment Not sure why people are commenting on this post from August. My shower happened later that month and it went great. And I did my best to get MIL and my sister together, which I stated in the original post. Because like you said, I shouldn't have been planning the shower. But I was being given no choice at the time. That being said, everything worked out and I'm so happy with how the day went.