Mom and sister issues

Yikes, that's tough. You have the right to ask who you want to the wedding. If you're paying for it, you get to call the shots. Your dad and stepmom are a social unit and it would be rude to not invite her.

RE: your mom and sister, when you carry anger for 32 years, it grows. It's too bad they haven't made peace with the past. I really hope they show up.

You got it! Even a complete stranger says it . It’s been beyond anger for 32 years and neither my sis or mom have gotten over it. Quite sad actually and disturbing really. You’re right I do Have the choice of who we want there . Especially when my stepmom has been a big part of my life . My mom will come to wedding. My sister not sure

It is just symbolic behavior if your mom and sister complain. You have people from your life you need to have there. Both your mom and your stepmom are part of that. No one has to be around the other very much so that your mom and sister would only have brief encounters with the stepmom -- not sitting at the same table. Generally for the children's sake, parents still should be respectful or tame around each other. And it has been 32 years. Also, you dad was also involved in this -- but it is the "other" woman who ends up with the blame.

Hope they all can get over it ... hope also for healing for your mom and sister.

View Quoted Comment Very good advice thank you we have the rehearsal tonight where my dad will be there and my mom and sister …first time in years and years for them. But then again they can be civil and mature!

I find it odd that your sister is more upset than your mom, but ultimately they need to act like adults and just accept that your stepmom will be in attendance.

View Quoted Comment Haha your guess is as good as mine! She has nothing to do with my dad because he left my mom 32 years ago . But as you can all see this is more than just wedding issues for them! Major issues that sadly they never got help for

View Quoted Comment I understand being upset that your dad had an affair, but after 32 years I would think she can at least be mature enough to deal with him and your stepmom being in attendance. It's not like you are asking your mom and sister to be best friends with him. All they have to do is tolerate him for one day.

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Although an affair is never quite right, a problem in the marriage could have been on either side of the relationship before the affair. Maybe your mom's behavior started earlier than 32 years. But either way, that is time enough to make separate lives and find a happier way for the rest of one's life.

There was another situation shared here where the mom and sister(s) were just really negative against a marriage. It turned out the dad has abandoned the family and the sister had a divorce so they were against even a promising marriage for the bride.

View Quoted Comment Let’s hope so!! Thank you

View Quoted Comment You’re right . 32 years time to heal and move on. But sadly my mom hasn’t. If she doesn’t want to say hi tonight to my dad
that’s fine!!!! That’s all on them and they will look like the childish ones

View Quoted Comment I'm guessing your mom hasn't dated or remarried since the divorce. It sounds like counseling is well overdue for both of them. I hope tonight and your wedding go well.

View Quoted Comment Your smart!! How did you guess! She hasn’t touched a man since my dad

View Quoted Comment That's really extreme of her. She is depriving herself of male companionship for no reason. They aren't together and haven't been in over three decades. While I obviously don't know the details behind your dad's affair, at this point her unhappiness and bitterness towards him is on her as she is choosing to live a male-free life.

View Quoted Comment You should talk to them hahahaa jk! Are you a councilor ? Lol but ya it’s obvious and 3 days before our wedding I shouldnt Have to be worried about going to a rehersal with her and my sister in the same room as my dad

View Quoted Comment No I'm not lol but I completely you shouldn't have to deal with this.

View Quoted Comment Thank you hard to believe strangers can help me thru this and support me but all of you are right . End of the day they can be civil and suck it up for a few hours . They won’t be next to each other at the wedding or at same
Table . There will be 160 people there . Won’t even come across each other

Wow. This is all happening fast. Hope the night works out well and your wedding.

Yes it a shame that your mom and sister are still mad about what your dad did. And now for them to even know that you are when close with her. They wanted you to also keep this grudge against her as well. And your not doing that and that is really a good thing that you did. Your mom needs to put her personal feelings aside and be there for you as her daughter. I hope that they still will come around and show you support on your day. I have been there except it was my sister who done something to me and I did invite bc of my mom and grandmother. Plus I have grown and I'm over it. I hope that it all works out and know who it's a celebration for you and your FH

View Quoted Comment Update : tonight went well..they were civil and fine and did small talk . Altho stepmom wasn’t at rehearsal. But hopefully this helped a bit and broke the ice . Wedding will be a lot of people so they won’t be around or near each other at all

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Good that things went smoothly. Thanks for sharing that.