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Breelyne
Savvy October 2023

Mom Drama, Am i overreacting

Breelyne, on August 8, 2022 at 10:50 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
So my mom has graciously offered to help pay for our wedding but now she has fought me every step of the way making the entire planning process completely and utterly miserable. so our latest issue now has been the guest list. originally we were planning to have a bigger wedding with 125+ guest and we recently decided to move it to a smaller venue where we can only have 60 guest maximum. So now I guess I should say that my mom and my dad who aren’t together, have been in competition with each other since I was little. The latest battle between them has been money. Primarily with my mom trying to cause unnecessary drama. Mom Drama, Am i overreacting 1

Mom Drama, Am i overreacting 2

Mom Drama, Am i overreacting 3

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My mom is upset that my dad as of yet has an offered to pay for anything and she knows that my dad recently had surgery and just now got back to work but this evening she had the audacity to tell me that somebody was invited to the wedding and then randomly she asked if my dad was going to be walking me down the aisle. My dad and I have had just as rocky of a relationship as me and my mom. My dad and I recently reconciled so when she asked if he was going to be walking me down the aisle I said yeah I like probably so he’s my dad and then she was like OK well he’s not offering to pay for anything but yet he gets the glorification of walking you down the aisle he gets the glory of that moment with you and that’s not fair I’m just really upset right now because I don’t know what to do I can’t seem to make her happy and it’s making a whole planning process miserable to the point where I’m dreading my wedding what do I do do you have any advice I’ve tried to tell her how I feel I’ve posted pictures of our recent conversation below.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Leslie, on August 10, 2022 at 2:35 AM
  • A
    Dedicated July 2022
    Amanda ·
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    Hi, I’m coming from a place of love, so I hope this is well received... Regardless of what was said during the conversation with your mom, I feel bad for her. It’s not right to take screenshots of a personal conversation with someone and post it on the internet for everyone to see. I know this is a platform to get advice and input, but maybe you can remove the screenshots and just leave the paraphrase of what happened? I am not taking away what you’re going through, it sounds difficult and I’m sorry that you have to experience this while planning; it would just be a way of showing respect for her, even when you don’t feel like you’re being treated fairly. Again, I’m not trying to discredit your feelings or anything of that nature, I just think that privacy is important and posting private conversations isn’t right.
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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    I just commented on your updated post - so here I'll continue it. IF your parents are paying for, or helping pay for your wedding, this is the risk that you run. IF you want full autonomy to tell your mom/dad to back off, you need to pay it for yourself. Not saying her behavior is justified or not, I'm just saying this is what comes with allowing other people to finance. You'll find there's quite a few posts with people struggling with this same issue and there really is no way around it - they pay, they say.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I read your posts in reverse. You asked, what to do. If she's fighting you every step of the way, you cancel. This will not get better as your parents have been using money for power all your life as you say. Parents use money to keep infantilizing their adult children. Save your own money for the wedding you and your FS want. You wrote your immediate family are the only ones you care about anyway. Skip the engagement party if you're downsizing because guests should not be invited to small parties if not to the big one. If you do still want the big engagement party and the full wedding, then you take her input for 14 more months because she's the funding source.

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  • Breelyne
    Savvy October 2023
    Breelyne ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    No I see your point. I understand what you mean
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I would decline your mom and you dads money and have the wedding that you want and can afford. This isn't going to get better as you get closer to the wedding.

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  • Leslie
    Devoted December 2022
    Leslie ·
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    An idea for the walking down the aisle is having both ur mom and dad walk you that way no one gets hurt I’m actually doing that in mine since I want them to both feel special. Same with the father daughter dance my dad will dance half the song and my mom will cut in and dance the other half.
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