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Super August 2020

Mom Drama

Emily, on March 8, 2020 at 5:35 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 38

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Has anyone else’s moms been really bizarre during the whole wedding planning process? So first my mom was saying really rude unnecessary comments/opinions towards things I liked. After I talked to her and expressed I didn’t like that now she’s saying she feels like she hasn’t helped much during planning? I’ve literally hired all the vendors and am not sure how much more she could possibly help? I had her and FMIL there for dress shopping, two venue visits and am planning a girls day to address our invites and make mints. Is this just weird wedding behavior that’s normal?? Who else has had issues with their moms during all this.

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38 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on March 10, 2020 at 1:40 PM

Dedicated October 2020
Julia · on March 8, 2020 at 6:00 PM
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My mom has been fine but my FMIL has made comments about who we “have” to invite and why we “can’t” leave certain people off the guest list. She’s also made comments about the amount of money we are spending, offered suggestions to save money that we’re just not us. Mind you we are paying for everything ourselves. We’ve just ended up doing everything ourselves and telling her after the fact.
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on March 8, 2020 at 6:02 PM
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My mom and I had a huge fight in August of 2019 about the wedding. My mom I felt was catering to my bridesmaid and cousin and I got irritated. They wanted me to change my bridesmaid dresses and colors. My mom also hired an officiant without my knowledge or consent. We have since worked it out. But it happens. We are on much better terms now.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:06 PM
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Wow that’s insane! Yeah my mom and my sister called my color putrid 🙃then when I showed her my inspo pic for my flowers she said the boutonniere rose looked “too” bloomed. That’s when I talked to her and my dad (to get someone on my side) to explain these comments were rude and unwanted.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:08 PM
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Sorry to hear that! It’s always so awkward when someone is concerned about the money who isn’t the one paying for it. I think our generation of moms are used to a different type of weddings where you could save a lot of money, nowadays with venue prices, photographers, etc it’s hard to wheel and deal on too many things.
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on March 8, 2020 at 6:10 PM
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Yeah. My dad was completely on my side too. Yeah they liked my color I picked but wanted me to switch the place we were buying dresses from. I went with Azazie they wanted David's bridal. My cousin has since admitted after doing a try on with Azazie that they are much better quality which made me laugh. It does get better. I honestly think that parents just want to help and for their daughters to have a wonderful wedding.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:13 PM
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Yeah that’s why I’m not trying to turn it into a big fight, because I know she’s excited at the same time I wanted to set the boundaries of rude comments aren’t welcome lol. My older sister had a courthouse wedding so there wasn’t much planning behind that so this is their first big wedding and last!
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on March 8, 2020 at 6:15 PM
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Gotcha. I'm an only child so I totally get what you mean. I will say that since my big fight in August after that things have gotten so much better. The ideas I have my mom actually likes. Before she would make comments about them. I think she has realized that she wants to help but has to let me do things my way.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:19 PM
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That totally makes sense!
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Dedicated October 2020
Julia · on March 8, 2020 at 6:21 PM
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Exactly! I feel like we have done a great job finding “deals” while we didn’t have a budget when we started we just knew we wanted to spend as little as possible but wanted to have the wedding we wanted. We are about 15k for everything and are expecting 150 people.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:24 PM
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That’s pretty good! We were kinda the same way. In general I’m a pretty savvy person so I knew I didn’t want to go overboard with expenses but we knew we wanted to have a nice wedding!
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Devoted August 2020
Paige · on March 8, 2020 at 6:38 PM
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Yes! My mom has such an idea in her head of how the day is supposed to go (all very traditional ideas). I am less than traditional so all of my ideas she has something negative to say. For example, we are forgoing cake for everyone for donuts with custom to go bags. She was very against not doing cake. I have learned to not ask her opinion and just tell her my ideas. As terrible as it sounds, it has helped me.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 6:39 PM
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Haha I totally get what you mean! That’s what I’ve been doing too and it’s actually helped. I’m like this is what we are doing. That way it doesn’t open up a well I don’t like that
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Dedicated February 2020
Michelle · on March 8, 2020 at 6:59 PM
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My mom wanted to be involved in EVERYTHING, but we have very different ideas about things, and I got tired of having to navigate all the things she wanted/thought were better, that in the end I just would tell her when I had 99% made up my mind. She ended up feeling slightly left out, but I was much less stressed.

We actually just got married, and she admitted everything was amazing, so it all worked out.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 7:06 PM
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Glad to hear everything turned out great!! I feel like I’m kinda doing the same thing you did! I’m including her with you can help me make cream cheese mints and address our invites. So there’s no “decisions/opinions” involved there but as far as decor, etc I’m pre deciding all that and she can help setup.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on March 8, 2020 at 7:19 PM
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Yess. 100% my mom has had odd opinions and odd comments. Shes concerned whos sitting with her, whos walking her down the aisle, like all things that are just so trivial.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 7:24 PM
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My go to response has been I’m not stressing over the minor details like that 😂
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on March 8, 2020 at 7:45 PM
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I try not to stress lol. But shes brought these topics up every chance she gets
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Devoted October 2020
Kirsten · on March 8, 2020 at 8:52 PM
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My mom lives 1400 miles away, so she hasn't been very involved. 🙁 But the thing I found weird is that I made her a contributor to my Pinterest board so she could see what I had in mind. She then created her own board called 'Bridal' lol and obviously has her own ideas of what my wedding should look like. We'll see what happens when she gets here. 🤞
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Super August 2020
Emily · on March 8, 2020 at 8:57 PM
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Haha that’s hilarious! Hopefully she did it by accident and didn’t realize she was a contributer.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on March 8, 2020 at 9:27 PM
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My mom’s been awesome, but my FMIL has been really strange. First, she refused to come to the wedding and said she didn’t support the marriage. Then she sent us an engagement present and asked why we weren’t including her in the planning. Um, why do you think? Then today she said she bought her plane tickets for the wedding and wants my FH to have his grandfather’s wedding band.
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