Mom & Drinks @ Reception

If you’re OK with limited drinking you can do butlered drinks, for example a single glass of wine or signature drink during cocktail hour, and/or a glass of wine or champagne for a toast served to the tables, but no open bar. I’ve been to many weddings that were not fully open bar but not totally dry either.

If you have a bartender, I would let them know ahead of time to stop serving her earlier rather than later.

That sucks, I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

We were worried about something similar with my FIL and we just had a conversation with him that we really wanted him to be present that day and hoped that he could limit his drinking to truly celebrate with us. We also had his brothers keep an eye out and mentioned it to the venue coordinator. It ended up being a non issue.

You could try to talk to her but if you don’t feel comfortable with that, which I totally get, you could always tell your day of coordinator if you have one (which is STRONGLY recommend btw. Like almost non-negotiable in my book). You could also talk to your bartender about cutting her off if it becomes too much

Definitely enlist others to help keep her drinking controlled. The bartender is likely the main person who could help you. Maybe you could talk to your mom now about getting help since your wedding is a long ways off. I sure hope it works out for you. You are in a tough spot

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I'm so glad it worked out for you and your FIL!

I've had conversations with her in the past, and I haven't had much luck. I'm hoping that she'll take it more seriously for my wedding, but we'll see.

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Thanks, Peyton.

Dad & I have tried to have conversations with her in the past. But maybe tying it specifically to a major life event like a wedding will be more impactful to her.

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I sure hope so. Alcoholism is such a difficult addiction to overcome.

How about if they water down her drinks maybe let the bartender or have your dad get her the drinks. Because if she's not willing to get help or contain herself there's no other choice.

Would you be able to notify who's in charge of the bar to limit her intake?

Oye it really stinks when we have to parent our parent. This is such a hard thing to deal with sorry to hear you have this on your plate. You have gotten some great suggestions here I agree with giving the bartender and coordinator a heads up. I know how difficult it can be to have these conversations with a parent struggling with alcohol, one of my parents is a recovering alcoholic and oh man before sobriety the simplest conversation about the topic could easily turn into an epic and hurtful battle, Every person and every family is different but what finally worked for me was writing a letter. I poured my heart out in a letter, it was easier than an in person conversation because I could temper my emotions and kindly and thoughtfully get my points across and set boundaries without being interrupted or crying. Best thing I ve ever done just know this absolutely can get better and people can change. It is not easy but it does happen. Another option would be to get the immediate family together and just say how much they all mean to you and how excited you are to celebrate with them. You hope everyone has a great time and request they drink responsibly because you really want everyone to remember the day and be present in it. This way she doesn’t feel singled out but everyone else will know the point of the chat. Al-anon meetings can also be very helpful to learn how to handle your own feeling about this. Having a parent who struggles with addiction of any kind can be incredibly hard and impacts you more than you realize sometimes. Wishing you all the best and congrats on your upcoming wedding!

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I agree! A coordinator could also alert the bartender(s).

You could do a “happy hour” type thing where it’s an open bar until after dinner then switches to cash bar. You can also talk to the bartenders at the event and have them limit her.. I hope it all works out ☘️