Mom knows no boundaries

My mother minus the religiousness. I totally resonate with everything you were saying, especially about the "property" comment. I mentioned to my mom that I liked these centerpieces (wooden lanterns) and I did not ask her to help but she took it upon herself (with my dad) to build these lanterns - and they turned out really nice! So I was tossing around the idea of having fake flowers for the lanterns around the flameless candle. My mom was all excited for it that we would do this together and then I decided I really wanted fresh flowers and didn't want to have to deal with finding fake flowers and doing it all myself and to say she got mad is an understatement - you think the would was ending. Nobody is helping us pay for this wedding, we are doing it all ourselves so I don't understand why everyone think they have a say. We are going dress shopping September 3rd and I'm absolutely dreading it because she keeps sending me dresses and is like "do you like these" when it isn't my style and she knows what I like. I know its frustrating but there isn't much you can do with someone who won't listen and who acts like a child when they don't get their way. I've stopped sharing a lot with her unless she asks. I'm sorry you have to deal with it but stick to you guns, if you cave then she wins and will continue doing this in the future.

I'm sorry to hear that your mother is like this, and I don't have any personal experience with anything like it. However, if her giving you the silent treatment is a typical response to you not acceding to her wishes, then what is she going to do when you don't raise your children in her preferred way? I suggest talking to a professional about the relationship and coping mechanisms, so that you aren't having anxiety.

Oh no, sorry to hear that. Definitely set boundaries and if she continues to cross them distance yourself. Make the family that your are building your priority and not the family that you come from. I've noticed that many older people are stubborn and catch an attitude when things don't go their way smh. As long as you and your fiancé are on the same page, she will just have to deal with it whether she likes it or not. My husband and I went through something similar with his family.

Wow, I'm so sorry you're experiencing stuff like this too. It just dumbfounds me that they spend so much energy just trying to get their way. You're 100% right, we just have to stick to our guns. It's exhausting but it's worth it.

That's a great point! I actually have gone to therapy, specifically regarding my relationship with her. It has helped greatly. I still experience anxiety, which I'm working on, but my own boundaries with her have improved a lot over the last year. Definitely a good thing for eventual child-raising

I'm sorry you experienced something like this, it truly is no fun! You're definitely right, a lot of older people throw adult tantrums when they don't get their way. Thanks for the encouragement

I just keep telling myself its about me and my FH, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants or thinks. As long as the two of us are happy, it doesn't matter that my mom isn't because she isn't playing for anything and she already got married.