Mom Not Excited- Dad Passed Last Year

So sorry for your loss. Unfortunately no one will be as excited about or invested in your wedding as you and fiance. Let her grieve how she needs to and focus on having a happy day.

I am so very sorry for your loss. You probably already know this, but how your mother is feeling about your wedding, and the apparent lack of interest excitement, has not nothing to do with the wedding, you or your fiancé. It’s a symptom of her very natural grief. She may also be feeling guilty that she hasn’t got all the positive emotions around your wedding.

The PP’s suggestion of grief counselling is a good one. I’d also suggest having someone (e.g. close friend or )family member) who you specifically ask to look out for your mom on the day. It will likely be helpful for her to have a hand to squeeze at particular moments, and helpful for you to know she is being looked out for, without you needing to do it.

I'm so sorry.

I'll echo the grief counseling. It sounds like your mom really needs it, especially because she's so isolated with the pandemic and everything being shut down. A few sessions for yourself would likely be beneficial, if only to give yourself a safe space to grieve.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is not the same, but my step-grandfather passed away on November 13th, which is the day after our wedding day will be this year. It really rocked my grandmother and she's been in a similar headspace, she has been very depressed. She's going to a counselor and it really is helping her a lot, she's taking joy in things again, even if she has rough days where she might not be up to laughing and smiling. While you are right that it is your special day and you want everyone to be happy for it, you unfortunately cannot force anyone to be happy, especially if they are dealing with something devastating. So for your own self, I recommend maybe just reflecting on why you are excited to be married and trying to create the day you want that you know your dad would love. I know easier said than done, but it may bring you a little peace through this very difficult situation.

Kelsey, my heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry for the loss of such a great person in your life. I'll echo the suggestions of a grief counselor, as well. As strange as this may be, your mom may be feeling like she's just lost a very important person in her life (her husband) and is right on the edge of losing another (you). Of course you'll still be her daughter and aren't abandoning her, but the relationship dynamic absolutely changes once you get married and priorities do change a little bit. If she's feeling that potential grief on top of the current grief I can completely understand where she's at. You can definitely try talking to her and see if that may be what's going on, but that would honestly probably be a conversation better had with a counselor. I also like the idea thrown out of having someone there specifically looking out for your mom. It's a nice way to show that you really do care about the pain she's in while allowing yourself to experience the joy of marriage.