Mom-zilla

It also helps when you don’t tell them stuff aha but I know what you mean - like she would nag and ask about it even if you don’t tell her anything.
Just let her know you wanna enjoy being engaged for a bit without getting overwhelmed about planning yet

Agree with the PP. Just tell her you want to enjoy being engaged for a moment and you'll let her know when you're ready to start planning.

I mean I can see why she is ready to start planning. May will be here before you you know it. I know it seems far away, but it's really not when you think about everything that needs to get booked and done for the big day, and with so many 2020 couples rescheduling for next year as well. With that being said, maybe just tell her you want to enjoy that initial high of being engaged without the stress of planning anything yet. And maybe give her an estimated time of when you'll be ready to start planning to give her better idea of where you're at.

Hey girl! I just got engaged about a week and a half ago! Our wedding date is May 29, 2021! My mom is the SAME WAY. It’s totally understandable. I think this is a moment moms always look forward to, so that’s why they get super excited/eager to plan. Especially ones, like mine, who didn’t have an actual wedding when they got married. I’m super blunt too. (I think you and I are twins. Lol) Just be honest with your mom! Tell her you are excited too, but want to take a minute to enjoy just being engaged because you will only be engaged once (hopefully). Let her know that she will be the first to know when you are ready! ❤️ I told my parents that my fiancé and I wanted a week before we wanted to start even thinking about things! They totally understood and respected it. Just be honest and do your thing because this is all about you!

I think we need a bit more context here--what's she on about? Is she helping financially with the wedding? Is it an issue of her trying to rush to get everything booked?

Honestly, if you are set on that particular date it is best to start planning. Many venues book over a year in advance, especially for their busy season (April-October). Also, because of COVID, a good bit of 2020 brides have already rescheduled their weddings for next year. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you might be able to relax more once you book your main vendors!

View Quoted Comment Okay so. she isn’t paying for it at all, my fiancé and i are paying for everything (unless someone offers but we aren’t asking anyone) we already have our venue, which is family property so there’s no worry about that. We also already have a photographer. She just wants to have a hand in every part of it, which i totally get since i’m her first daughter getting married, but i’m very laid back and chill and she is the complete opposite. She’s just going against everything i want- colors, my dress, my venue

View Quoted Comment I totally get that! But we’re getting married on family property so we have the venue picked, and the photographer is a friend of ours. it’s going to be a super lowkey wedding and i want this whole process to be as relaxing as it can be (i definitely know i’m gonna be stressed but i think right now is a little much) we’re also doing chicken wings and nuggets for our reception (i let my FH pick that out hahaha)

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I came here to say the same thing. You may have to be flexible about your date or not picky about venue and vendors even if you start planning now, depending on where you're getting married. My fiancé and I are getting married on a Friday in June 2021 because our venue had already been booked for every summer Saturday next year due to being popular and so many people needing to reschedule due to COVID-19.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh! that’s incredible! Congratulations!! And i think that’s a great idea, my initial response was “it’s not youre wedding so butt out” but i decided against it ahahaha

So, stop telling her things. Change the subject every time she brings it up. Literally refuse to talk to her about it. If she won't stop, end the conversation and don't talk again unless she's willing to talk about something else.

Set these boundaries now, otherwise she'll do this for everything.

We got engaged on Dec 31, 2018. We were married by Aug 24, 2019.

You can plan a wedding in less than a year, no problem. Since you've already got a lot done, you can relax.

Don't let her bully you.

I started planning the day after lol. May is a super popular month and things in CT book up really fast especially now since sadly so many people had to move their wedding. We have everything booked and almost paid for and don't have to stress. But if you're not ready to start I would just tell her, moms look forward to this day as much as we do.

I would talk to your mom and tell her how you feel. BUT tbh you might have a hard time finding vendors for a May 2021 wedding. Most vendors book more than a year in advance, and especially since 2020 brides have rescheduled for next year, it might be difficult , I would start planning ASAP or pick a later date!