Monetary gifts only —how to word the invites making sure guests bring gifts???

If you ask for Money it can come across as tacky and If I was a guest and got red that I wouldn’t give you a gift, best thing to do is not register

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your response. The reason we don’t want gifts or a registry is because we don’t need a bunch of extra ‘stuff’ and clutter.

Personally I wouldn’t even put that on the save the date. If you’re doing a wedding website I would maybe have it on the Q & A page, but not on any of the paper mailed to guests. It can read like a gift grab, and that’s not what a wedding is about; no one is actually OBLIGATED to bring a gift (but it is expected and appreciated). I agree not to do a registry if you don’t want “clutter”, but maybe do a “money registry”… some websites offer a link to those?

My husband and I lived together before marriage and didn't need anything, we did not register and our guests brought a card with cash or checks. We appreciated any gift as the wedding we decided to have and pay for was not in any way an invitation to come and gift us but rather an invitation to come and celebrate our marriage. Yes getting cash gifts are great but you should never expect that from your guests as a return for feeding them at your wedding.

Yeah, as much as I agree that cash gifts are preferred (and Im originally from Nj where 99% of wedding gifts are cash) it’s incredibly tacky to put that on a save the date or an Invitation. That said it is also incredibly tacky to come to a wedding and not bring any gift whatsoever! So not sure where I would go with that one. Probably not put it and just expect that’s they way some guests/family will be… unfortunately.

You are describing and entrance fee to attend your wedding with the wording you have now and you last couple of sentences. And if I saw that, chances are I would decline because it comes off as you only care about gifts. You invite people because you want them to come witness you ceremony and celebrate you, not because of what’s in their wallets.


Don’t have a registry, and you can kindly request no physical gifts on your wedding website. Most will get the hint, some will still bring something whether home made or they just thought of you, and others may not be able to afford anything other than a card.

Gifts should never be mentioned on save the dates or invitations- it is rude. Nor should you ever dictate what is given as a gift- it comes off as gift grabby and ungrateful. When you invite people to your wedding, they are your GUESTS and should be treated as such. Gifts are never required of them, and you should be grateful for whatever you are gifted. If you do not want physical items, simply do not register them and people will get the hint and give cash/checks/gift cards.
“ Is there a better way of wording this to make sure guests are not just there to take and will actually give?”

I think you need to rethink the purpose of your guests and your wedding, because this is horrible.

"I want the guests to make sure they know not to come empty handed because none of them are broke and are always vacationing."

If you're viewing your guests only as a way to receive money, you're honestly better off just eloping without any guests with you. Guests are there to enjoy and celebrate your marriage, not to pay for the wedding you decided to have. If you believe they need to bring a certain amount to "make up" for what they're "taking" then why don't you just say you're requiring an entrance fee of whatever amount and see how many people come 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I understand where you’re coming from. Everyone invited has money and like to vacation. My principal is, yes, they are family and I love them. However, it is selfish to be a taker and not give. Like I mentioned, many came to my Mom’s wedding to eat and gave nothing. That is not right imo.

View Quoted Comment I’ll check those options out, thanks!

View Quoted Comment I don’t feel stating “monetary gifts only” is rude. It’s better than accepting gifts and having them sit in storage

View Quoted Comment Makes sense!

Maybe your mom’s guests felt it was rude of her to request monetary gifts and chose not to give a gift for that reason. Whether people vacation or not is irrelevant. It isn’t up to you to decide how they spend their money. If you want to ensure that no guests come without a gift don’t invite guests. Then you can’t be disappointed.

View Quoted Comment

“ Is there a better way of wording this to make sure guests are not just there to take and will actually give?


My mother got married a few years back and specified monetary only and many guests gave her $30 and some family gave her NOTHING and only came to eat. I want the guests to make sure they know not to come empty handed because none of them are broke and are always vacationing.”




Sorry, but ALL of this is rude 👆🏻Perhaps the reason your mother got what you perceive as low monetary gifts, or no gifts at all, from guests is because they were insulted by the demand from the bride to bring her money. It lacks respect, class and good etiquette.

View Quoted Comment I disagree

View Quoted Comment And it’s totally fine for you to disagree with me. The real question is whether or not your GUESTS agree with me, as they would be the ones who could potentially be offended. To be honest, I don’t understand what you are looking for with your question then. You said you are looking for a way to make sure your guests do not show up empty-handed to your event…. And not only that, but they need bring you exactly what you request. And you are also disagreeing with everyone who is telling you that is rude. So if it’s not rude… why aren’t you just explicitly stating on your invitations that being a guest at your wedding isn’t a “free ride” and that guests are expected to bring X amount of money or more?

View Quoted Comment I very much agree that you original post comes across as rude. We had several guests not give us a gift at all. And while it’s kind of sad, so what no big deal. Like others have said our wedding reception was a celebration of our marriage and we invited those closest to us to enjoy and celebrate our day! We expected nothing from them and were surprised with how much they gave. Plus some people just like to give gifts and don’t like to give money. These people will give a physical gift no matter what.
If I was invited to your wedding you’d get a)nothing b) an unacceptably (to you) small amount c) some random cheap thoughtless gift. My cousin requested gift cards or cash and they got luggage tags 🤷‍♀️ Don’t be rude

While I would never attend a wedding empty handed, I still think it’s incredibly rude to mention you expect monetary gifts, no matter how nicely you try to word it. You’re guests don’t owe you anything. You don’t host a backyard barbecue and expect your friends and family to pay an entrance fee.


Don’t mention it at all and since you don’t have a registry guests will bring cash gifts.

Gifts are not required and should never be expected, and certainly should not be demanded on the invitation. Yes, they are customary and should be appreciated, but no one is required to give you a gift. You invite people to your wedding because you want to share your wedding day with them, not because of what gifts you want them to give you. What you are describing is essentially charging admission to attend, not a gift. You provide a meal because that is what a good host does. If you're going to be mad if people attend but don't give a gift or what you consider a large enough gift, then don't invite anyone because that is not what being a host is about.

My husband and I honestly didn't need anything either! We still created a registry just in case if our guests wanted to gift us something rather than just gift us money. We were just very particular on what we added to it. For example, new towels, new bed set, camping stuff, gift cards to certain places, etc. We honestly weren't expecting anything! We just really wanted to celebrate with close family and friends If you do get physical gifts you can return or exchange them for something else (if you know where it came from of course lol).

But if it helps just don't have a registry if you really want to avoid having stuff. You may still get some actual gifts though as some people may not want to gift money lol..

As for your mom to have requested that it did seem rude because it probably came off in a negative way that she was requesting for money ya know?

And honestly there are people who are just BAD gift givers who just give nothing at all. I have a cousin and her and her family NEVER gift ANYTHING for any occasion... I don't know why, but that's just how they are. I don't know why certain family members still invite them and I hate that they always say "they're still family". To heck with that LOL!!! And they're just very inconsiderate people in general aside being non-gift givers.

As for giving wedding gifts in general it is a COURTESY to gift something to a newlywed, BUT it is by all means not REQUIRED.