Monetary gifts only —how to word the invites making sure guests bring gifts???

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with this. Gifts should never be mentioned - not even to specify your preferred type of gift. It's also rude to insist that people give a gift of any kind. I always give a gift when I attend a wedding, though if I were invited to a wedding and was instructed to "not show up empty handed", I'd honestly probably decline the invite.


Like Cece mentioned, simply do not create a registry. People might ask you where you are registered, and by telling them that you're not registered, they will likely understand that you do not want physical gifts. Some people might still give you a physical gift anyway, but you can always try to exchange it at the store if it's not something you'll use.

View Quoted Comment Most people give rude thoughtless gifts 🎁 ..I’m sure your cousin wasn’t trying to offend you. Usually newlyweds need money to start out in their new lives. Not a toaster or luggage tag. That wasn’t nice.

I think there are a lot of ways which are much more appropriate to word what you're trying to get at:

- We are lucky enough to already have nearly everything we need for this new chapter together! However, for friends and family who have expressed an interest, a wishing well will be available on the day

- Celebrating with you on our special day is the only gift we require. However, for your convenience, we have registered at (honeymoon fund site) for fun activities to undertake on our honeymoon instead!

- Please know that your presence at our wedding is present enough! However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a wishing well for cards and contributions will be available on the day

View Quoted Comment It wasn’t nice to tell me to give them cash. They were going on a honeymoon so they were useful.

View Quoted Comment You’re right, thank you

Where I live (Australia) it is very much the norm to receive invitations which mention registry details or that there is a wishing well. Over here this practice is by no means seen as "rude" or "tacky" and I can attest that the two wedding invitations currently sitting on my fridge which mention a wishing well would not have been received with horror by any of the guests because of this. If anything, we find it much more convenient to actually know what the couple wants than guess what to gift them, and let's be frank - the people who will come empty handed will do so regardless of whether or not you've mentioned gifts in your invitation suite.

As you will see from the above comments, unlike the folk down here, many Americans take umbridge with mentioning gifts on invitations so whether or not you decide to mention gifts on your invitations is perhaps best decided upon by considering your crowd and how they will react. I have seen some comments on previous threads where people have languished that they flat out wouldn't attend a wedding if they saw gifts mentioned on the invitations (a bit extreme imho) whereas folks like myself actually like knowing what to gift.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.


There is no polite way to dictate what type of gifts that guests bring. Many people do not give cash gifts, period, so they will either give gifts you don’t want and possibly can’t return or decline the invitation. Mention of registry info is done by word of mouth only and has been for ever. It’s also not your place to judge what makes an acceptable guest. You invite people because you want them to celebrate with you, not judge their worth on whatever admission fee you dictate.

There is no way to control who gives what at your wedding. Some people aren’t going to give you a gift. Hopefully not many, but you’ll probably get more people who don’t gift if you ask for it on the invite. Stop trying to control people and you’ll be just fine

Typically physical gifts are given at bridal showers and monetary gifts are given at the wedding. At my wedding I received 2 physical gifts and 50+ monetary gifts. The 1 couple who gave us a physical gift were not super close friends, and the other couple was from a different country and were unfamiliar with the custom of giving a check/cash.


I would not put anything on your invite saying anything about gifts. On your wedding website you can say you are registered with honey fund so if people are looking to get you something specific they can do that. Everyone else would most likely give cash or check

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No, actually it's rude. Demanding money from your guests is rude. It's also rude to refer to gifts at all on the invitation or the save the date. It will come across badly to at least some of your guests.

It's not reasonable to expect your guests to cover the costs of your wedding at all.

It’s tacky to ask for “monetary gifts” or any gifts on the invitation for that matter. Just leave it to the guests to decide what to give.

If a couple didn't have a registry, then I would take the hint that they wanted cash and give a generous monetary gift. But if the couple asked for "monetary gifts only to be collected by the coordinator", then I would probably give nothing out of spite. Super tacky to ask this of your guests.

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I'm speechless lol is OP for real on this?

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I agree with this. Just be really explicit on your invitations how much money you are requiring people to bring before they will be admitted. If the price for attendance is clear, then guests can decide ahead of time if they can afford to attend your event.

View Quoted Comment I was speechless when I read it too. Then immediately felt sorry for these guests.

If you're so worried that guests will "take" rather than "give," you're better off with no guests. A wedding is not a fundraiser or a gift grab. Your guests are taking time out of their day to get dressed up and honor you and tolerate mediocre mass produced food and wait around for you. You can't require any gifts or that they be cash.

View Quoted Comment Isn’t this the same concept as “covering your plate” with a minimum price range that people say guests need to follow everywhere? No guests have that information because they are not paying the vendor bills nor is there any way to guess and it isn’t polite behavior in many social circles or even according to the published etiquette books over the decades. You don’t charge people for their plates at a dinner party or backyard bbq in your home so why would be the “common expected” gift at a wedding which is a larger party held at a different venue?

View Quoted Comment THANK YOU!!!! This is what I wanted to say 😂

This is rude. The purpose of a wedding is not to get money from people. Most people give money anyway, and if you don’t have a registry that will also encourage cash gifts. You don’t need to request it.

Requesting gifts is bad etiquette, period. If you don't want physical gifts, it's perfectly fine to say so and not have a registry, but you can't dictate that guests bring you monetary gifts or really any gift at all. Guests should be invited to your wedding because you want them there to celebrate with you, not out of expectation that they give you a gift or cover their cost of attendance.

Most guests will give a cash gift if there is no registry. Some guests will not give any gift at all, regardless of whether there is a registry or not, and some guests will insist on giving you a physical gift even if you don't have a registry and specifically request no physical gifts. Some people just do what they want despite the wishes of the couple.