Monster in law question

She sounds outright opposed to this engagement. If this is how she is going to handle engagement, how is she going to handle the actual wedding in her own backyard? How will you coordinate set up?


There is absolutely no way I'd have the wedding at her home. Did she even agree to it?

View Quoted Comment Funny thing is she Agreed to it Saturday night saw her yesterday Sunday morning she didn’t say a thing to me. Ignored me the whole day. I think she only agreed because my fiancé caught her off guard in the phone. Now I feel she’ll hate me more if I say no to her yard.

Please do NOT have the wedding at their house. This is a train wreck waiting to happen! While you can't really do much about her not being supportive, you can set boundaries. I would talk with FH about what he feels his mom needs to be a part of with the wedding(and planning) and go from there. I personally would involve her as little as possible. Hopefully she is just avoidant, which is easier to deal with than her throwing fits and actively making things worse.

Lean on your FH and friends/family for love and support! This is an exciting time!

I agree with the previous comments about maybe not using her backyard as the venue. The concern would be if there was ever a disagreement between you and her on anything, that she might decide to not allow you to use the backyard for the wedding, and therefore leaving you without a venue.

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of this. Do not get married in their back yard as that will give her so much control and power. MIL has shown she isn't interested so don't keep trying to involve her jn things. Have a wedding you can afford, planned and paid for completely by you and your FH only.

Definitely don't use her yard. If she's that opposed to your engagement, she'll likely only get worse if she's the one rental companies, caterers, etc. are in contact with, and there's so much opportunity to sabotage the wedding (even if it is her own yard). While it would be great if she turned things around during the planning process, I wouldn't want to wager a wedding on it if she doesn't come around. Save yourself the time and stress and find a venue she won't have power over.

I wouldn't want to use a parent's backyard if felt one or both of them were negative about our engagement.
While your fiance's opinion matters too, of course, you should tell him how you feel on this.
"I’m starting to get a really bad feeling about that" Please don't ignore that. A negative feeling rarely comes out of nowhere. It sounds like she'll take advantage of the situation by threating to "withdraw" her backyard if she has certain demands that are met with 'NOs'. You would give her too much control and power, she could even make you postpone (or cancel) the wedding! I wouldn't be concerned because didn't say "congrats" but by what she's done: telling other not to say "engagement" , the snides looks to her husband because he talks to you etc... It's not the same. My future Mother-I-L didn't say "congrats" either (long story short: my now fiance told me, that she liked his ex and would have loved him to be with her and marry her) but she's still respectful since she still wants her son to be happy, so she accept relutanctly. We didn't expect her to be excited either.

However: we decided from day 1n ot to hold our event at my parents' house nor his mom's or dad's (they're divorced) because we know it would come with 1,000,000 strings attached and we're willing to spend money on a venue if that comes with peace of mind.

Do not, under any circumstances, hold your wedding at your in-laws house. This is a recipe for drama, tears, frustration, stress and disappointment.

Do not, in any way, have your wedding there. She will take the power of having it at her own house and run with it so far you’ll never get a say in anything. I wouldn’t attend their family get togethers, let alone have a wedding at their house