Mother and sister won’t acknowledge/approve of wedding

Ok. So. Long story short, SO & I have been together for about four years. At first, my family really got along with him, but became icy as things got more serious until eventually wedding planning has been more tears than anything.


SO is from a different country, and my family has raised a lot of concerns on that point. They don’t approve that we want to raise our kids in both cultures, of me learning his native language so I can talk to his family, and my mom threw a giant tantrum when I said I wanted a multilingual ceremony, saying, I quote, “I need to remember who is really important in my life”.
Post-covid, we changed plans to do a quick, low key city hall marriage and then have a religious ceremony and reception for both our families once international travel is safe and easy again. Probably 2022. Sigh. 😔
We don’t want to wait until 2022 to start our lives together and have been talking about doing this for a few months now, and my mom and sister refused to acknowledge it the entire time. I did everything by myself- pick out a dress, decide a date, book the city hall, because every time I brought it up it would be a headache and a fight ending in tears. It was sad.
They keep telling us to wait until things open up more and get safer, citing that both my brother and sister have infants and couldn’t come along. We remind them that that’s what the religious ceremony/reception is for, and we want to keep this as low-key as possible. They tell us we should directly have the religious ceremony/reception this spring, and if his family can’t come that’s “just the way it is”
Even going to city hall by ourselves and coming back to have social distance takeout with my family would be fine for us at this point. We’re both less than thrilled our dream wedding turned into city hall, but I am beyond thrilled about who I’m marrying and our future together.
Now that the city hall date is almost here, and they had to come to terms with the fact that that’s what we want to do, they are complaining everything is sudden and rushed and keep telling me how horrible it will be and how my wedding will be ruined and how embarrassed they will be to tell people about it. We planned to do it where my family lives, so we could celebrate with them, (we keep trying to be patient and include them, hoping they’ll get more used to SO) and now I’m worried we made the wrong call. But my dad shouldn’t have to miss this time in my life just because my mom and sis are being difficult.
I don’t know what to do. I flip flop between being nervous for a gigantic conflict when our day eventually comes, and being angry that they can’t just accept our decision and be happy for us.