Mother and Step-son Dance

Unless this is something that you're really passionate about, I would skip it and tell your FMIL that she can find a time throughout the night to dance with her stepson. The idea is nice, but it sounds like she's just using it as an excuse to have a spotlight dance with him. It's unfortunate that she didn't get to dance with him at his wedding, and while we obviously don't know the whole story, I would assume there's a reason he didn't do a mother son dance with her. It's perfectly fine if she wants to dance with her stepson, but I don't think she needs all eyes on them to do so.

Sounds like you and your FH don't really like the idea. It is y'all's wedding, so I'd say suggest she just dances with her stepson during a slow song played throughout the night. No reason to announce the dance and incorporate it into your timeline. Tell her if she would like, she can give the DJ a song she wants to dance to, and dance with him when the DJ plays it. It is sweet what she is trying to do, but this wedding is supposed to be about you and FH.

I wouldn't, this isn't her wedding or her son's. If you wanted, during the mother son dance, halfway in you could ask other mothers & sons to come out to dance too? But other than that, I don't think it's necessary. I assume he could have had a wedding if he wanted and danced with her? But chose not to?

This isn't something either one of us really love. I thought it was strange and so did my fiance. He concerned his brother's wife would feel left out. We also don't know who I would dance with. Like I said in my original post, my great uncle probably won't come because the wedding is two hours from where he lives and he doesn't like to travel long distances. If he does decide to come, he isn't the dancing type of person. The other option would be my FIL which would make me very uncomfortable. I do not like his father so to have to dance with him would be awkward. His father won't even hug me when we visit him. His father is not an affectionate person and when I tried to hug him the last time I saw he told me he doesn't know me well enough to hug me. I have been dating his son for three years so that was kind of hurtful for him to say. The step-son did have a wedding, but he did the mother/son dance with his biological mother not my MIL because she is actually his ex-stepmother. Our other concern is that the step-son is actually no longer her step-son. His father is divorced from her. The step-son does not have a relationship with said father so I think it would be strange to highlight the step-son’s relationship with his ex-stepmother when he has no relationship with his own father who will be at the wedding since my fiance does have a relationship with their father.

It sounds like there could be several awkward situations that come out of this dance, so like PPs have said, they can choose to dance to a song if they want but it doesn't need to be announced.

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I agree. It's just going to be explaining this to her. She has made some things incredibly difficult on us and on her other son who is getting married in August. She gave both of us a list of 60 people that had to be invited to the weddings. We invited all of them, but her other son did not and she threw a fit. She also gave a list to my mother of people that should attend my bridal shower and 5-6 of them I have never met or have only met once, but she insists they need to be invited.

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I'm so sorry to hear that she's been difficult during the planning. I would sit down with her and FH and both explain that although the idea of it is nice, but it would complicate things during the reception.

This just sounds so awkward and I simply wouldn't do it. She can dance with the step-son anytime she wants that evening but I wouldn't give her a special dance in front of everyone. Your wedding just isn't the place for that.

I’d give that a big no. She can dance with her stepson at any point during the night. I see no reason why she and he need a special announcement and time out of YOUR reception.

If you did an honour dance, he'd presumably dance with his wife. It would be some rather odd pairings and personally I don't like the idea of 'honouring' people for your own benefit (in this case, FMILs benefit) rather than just to honour them. It comes across quite self-serving on her part. There are plenty of opportunities throughout the reception where she can dance with him if he actually wants to do that, if you wanted to you could even get a song request from her that could be played at some point to make it special for her