Mother In-law Banned From Wedding

Ok, so MY mother didn't come to our wedding. Which made me *HAPPY*. (I know she's still waiting for me to be upset about it.) She will never know when we have kids. If she somehow finds out, she will never be let near any children. If she tries to get to my children through someone else, there will be BIG trouble.

If she was that abusive and harmful, there's a good reason your FH is trying to shield you and your child from her.

Tell him, show him, and then *block her*. She will attempt to manipulate you and/or your kiddo to get information about your FH, the wedding, YOU, where you live, etc. This is another way for her to harm your FH.

He could probably benefit from counseling, as recovering from childhood abusive is a long, hard road (I'm in therapy about it, myself).

I'm so sorry.

I know what it's like to have toxic family.

View Quoted Comment Huh? I said asking him, not doing it.... Gee Wiz.

View Quoted Comment I wish they would buy I don't think it's in the cards. Yeah she was a bad mother. And I have been respectfully sitting on the sidelines watching everything

View Quoted Comment I agree with you, I think after they did everything they shut her out, and went a different direction. He went to therapy, and chose to close her out for good because of who she is

So I did tell him, he asked me to please ignore her. He did explain that she's done enough damage and that she has no place in his life. He was furious about the situation he did get snappy.
I explained gently that the beef between them is between them not me. And that I don't want to be apart of it, I will be polite when she reaches out, but I won't engage with her.
I know he was mad...because he went to the gym and stayed for 3 hours.

View Quoted Comment What do you gain from talking to her? He’s made it clear verbally and by his actions that he wants nothing to do with her.
She is doing exactly what abusive parents do when their children finally get away - they send out feelers to see how they can hurt their children through someone else. You are not a random neutral party here, you’re his partner. Now he feels like your explanation that this is his beef, not yours, is making him think you won’t back him up when she wants info about him.
There is no need to be “polite” - block her in all fronts when she contacts you. Abusers don’t change. She will do whatever it takes to hurt him again.

View Quoted Comment For sure and always I'll back him up. Like I said she's in town, and if she approaches me all I can do is be polite and walk away, or if she hits me up on social media from a different account, is just tell her I wish her well and keep it moving, or flat out ignore her and continue to block her.
He's not mad at me, he's just frustrated with her trying to wedge into his life.

Yes I agree with you she sees him doing well, has a family and getting married and it's probably eating her up. Especially since she can't see her grandson

View Quoted Comment As a Rasta I believe in having a clean heart. And I refuse to carry guilt, free headed, light hearted, and staying kind as much as possible.
He understands it's just her that doesn't get that she's not welcome

View Quoted Comment That makes perfect sense! And it’s a benefit she can’t just walk up to you at the mall when you aren’t expecting it!

View Quoted Comment I definitely get it, goodluck with everything!

View Quoted Comment I'm a little taken back that you were offended with my "gee" comment. Didn't mean to upset you. Take care.

Yes ignore as FH said. You don’t know her motives and with her history of abuse that’s concerning for your own child.