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Just Said Yes September 2022

Mother-in-law Questions

Haley, on January 13, 2022 at 8:31 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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I've been having a bit of a struggle lately and I could use some advice. Back in September, I invited my Mother-in-Law to be to come with me to the fitting whenever my wedding dress would come in. I'm trying to make sure that she feels included, as she isn't really involved in her son's life and I want this relationship to be a good one. Fast forward to now. My wedding dress has come in and I'm scheduled to get fitted at the end of the month. However, omicron is ripping through our community right now. My MIL to be refuses to get vaccinated. While that's her choice, my dad just went through a major surgery and my mother will be at this appointment. I don't want to risk both my mom and dad getting sick because she is choosing not to get vaccinated and doesn't wear a mask when out and about. My fiance is saying simply not to invite her, they aren't on the best of terms, but that feels incredibly rude. Does anyone have any advice???

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8 Comments

Latest activity by MIWM, on January 16, 2022 at 2:59 PM

VIP July 2017
Becky · on January 13, 2022 at 8:39 PM
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If she won't get vaccinated and refuses to mask up, then your fiance is right - you can't invite her without risking your parents. Also, if your fiance isn't on good terms with his mom, then you aren't likely to be able to fix it. I understand wanting to be on good terms with her, but this needs to be his call as it's his family.
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Haley · on January 13, 2022 at 8:42 PM
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Do you have an idea of a polite way to explain this to her, or would you just not mention it? He's a fan of just not sending her the date...
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VIP July 2017
Becky · on January 13, 2022 at 8:45 PM
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I wouldn't bring it up. If she brings it up ahead of time just say that due to her vaccination stance and refusal to wear a mask, you're uncomfortable with her being in close proximity to your parents, due to your dad's recent surgery. If she brings it up afterward, you can try a fib: "oh, shoot! I completely forgot I told you you could come!" or go with a version of the vaccination/mask thing.
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Haley · on January 13, 2022 at 8:46 PM
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Thank you!! This has been eating at me all week!
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Super June 2021
Bird · on January 13, 2022 at 9:03 PM
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I would not mention her vaccination status. That comes off as accusatory. I would say “because my dad just had surgery, I’m practicing social distancing this week. I’d love to get together another time later this month”
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Just Said Yes September 2023
Felicia · on January 14, 2022 at 9:07 AM
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Haley,
Definitely wouldn't bring up her vaccination status. That has nothing to do with the risk of your father. Both vaccinated and unvaccinated individuals spread the same. As Bird mentioned, just bring up social distancing and how you are being extremely cautious. I do know how you feel though, knowing me I would lie and mention the store is only allowing one other person to come with due to COVID. haha
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on January 14, 2022 at 12:56 PM
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Yes, to ALL of this, especially the part about listening to your fiancé about his own mom. He knows her best. Give yourself permission to not try to fix his relationship with his mom for him.
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