Mother in Law troubles?

Block her at all cost. Your dh needs to understand and not trying to play the peace maker. Trust me, I tried what you did for 21+ years. I blocked her a couple years ago, and my life has been very peaceful. Very.

You and fiance need to be a united front and set boundaries you both agree on and stick to them. Talk to fiance about how you both plan to move forward. Do not interact with her and do not let her pressure you to do anything against your will.


It also sounds like eloping without her or his siblings in attendance is the best course of action.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. She can do her worst work where she can smile at you, while spreading her nastiness. At wedding related and family things, sit within arm's reach. Keeps everything above board, and makes it obvious every time you are sweet and she is nasty.

Eh I would nip it in the bud now. I would consider an elopement maybe just you two and wedding party. This is just the beginning. Please enjoy your day and don’t worry about the haters.

View Quoted Comment I’ve already started planning and I will have a wedding regardless of how she acts. I’ve already put so much money and time into this. I won’t/can’t back out now. Well I suppose I can we always have choices in life. But I’d rather not. My family is really looking forward to it. As is my honeys other side of his family. It’s really just her. And now unfortunately 2 of her 3 very impressionable teens. She loves her son. And I’m hoping that, topped with the kind persona that she puts on for others will keep her in check. But I still get so nervous when I think about her being there. Not so much because I can’t deal with being uncomfortable. But more so because I know my close friends/friends and of course my fiancé will not react well if she is rude to me on our day. I don’t want our wedding turning into a jerry springer episode!

If she's that upset, she'll probably not attend, in an effort to "punish" your FH.

(My mother did that because she didn't like the invitations not having her name.)

This *always* spectacularly backfires on the person doing the "punishing", because a) they just missed out on the family event that is So Important to them, and b) made it very clear that they can't be bothered to respect others.

Your FH needs to deal with it - and it sounds like his response to her is already at the, "well, I've made my choice, and you're not it, mom" stage. Which is good for both of you. He needs to draw the same line with his siblings. (Counseling could help, this sounds like an incredibly toxic family.)

If she DOES come, appoint a member of the BP to corral her. As in, every time she makes a beeline for you, they "absolutely need" her help with "dear old Aunt Maggie" or something.

Set the boundaries now. Her choices will be a) accepting you and being involved in her son's life, or b) hearing about him through the grapevine.

Oh goodness, I agree with others about having an elopement

I don't have any advice besides to just enjoy your wedding day, do not let her ruin any part of your day for you.

My future mother in law and I do not get along. We have had 2 screaming matches in the past year. Her reasoning for not liking me is I'm "disrespectful" which her reasoning for is because I once told her "trees are going to fall" because she was in the basement SCREAMING about trees falling during a hurricane while I was working from home in the basement on the phone with customers, she also does not like that when I come home for the day I do not sit down and talk to her, I work in a call center, sometimes 12 hours a day, I talk all day, I don't want to come home and talk some more. She's also an alcoholic, who slams doors like a toddler when someone disagrees with her, I did not grow up in a home where door slamming was tolerated so it scares me every time. If we tell her she's wrong about something and try to explain why we're "gaining up on her", she's a narcissist and she does not like that I don't let her get away with her antics while the rest of her family has allowed her to act as she pleases. She will get into screaming matches with my future father in law over nothing, I also didn't grow up in a home with screaming or anger in general so I try to silently slip into the house because I don't like confrontation and don't know what kind of mood she's in.

My FH goes to bat for me, also can't stand his mother but regardless she has to come to the wedding, I'm having him do a mother son dance (against his wishes) because I want a father daughter dance and don't want her throwing a tantrum. However, my mother who I am very close with is aware of all that goes on and is on high alert to run intervention, also my younger cousin who is a bridesmaid is a force to be reckoned with and has been instructed to not let this women near me during my wedding day, as I do not want her to ruin my day.

She will be in attendance but not in control.

I am currently dealing with now. My mother In law has physically assaulted me 2x. Has spreader our issues we’ve have as a couple to his family ( we had our fights). Even when I’ve talked to her about him to get more of understanding. She bashes him and honestly in a way encourages the feelings of one day leaving him. Like she did with her ex. Which to me doesn’t seem like a person who’s supportive of our relationships. He runs you her house if we are fighting and she doesn’t even encourage him to go home to his family. Now it’s to the point I won’t get married if I have to invite his mother or other family members. Because that day is suppose to be happiest day of my life and to feel as someone is not supportive of our union nor respect it. They shouldn’t be there just like if it was the other way around and my parents. I’ve tried to move on past a lot of things but I’ve been forced in a way to be around her. Even when I don’t want too. Because that’s his mother! By the way he lied and said that was his sister mom and his step mom was his mother. Which is like you’ve had so much feelings towards her too not even claim her. But now I’m stuck in this I guess I have to make it right with my m mama and she a narcissist. Which I just feel like she’s always been jealous of our relationship and she expects him to jump for her every call and need. Ive explained my issues but he never really even consider them. Which is another red flag. Because we will be one and the family you create is more important than the family you come from.