Mother not even coming

I also have a complicated relationship with my mother, so much so that I didn’t even know until the last few months whether she would even attend my wedding. I’m also fully estranged from my sister (my family has a lot of drama lol). I’ve found that this stuff can be very painful during wedding planning when you want to celebrate with the women in your life, especially relatives, because that’s what we see as normal. But in reality, there are a lot of moms who are less involved in their daughter’s weddings for a whole variety of reasons. I know it’s tough, but I dealt with this by keeping my expectations low and just taking each individual step of wedding planning one at a time (with the expectation that my mom wouldn’t be involved and then being pleasantly surprised if it was something she decided to care about). As with other occasions in my life, I’ve depended more on my friends instead. Just know that you’re not alone, and try to find others in your circle that you can share these moments with. Dress shopping can sometimes go smoother if you go by yourself anyway, because then you can pick what you truly love and not have others’ opinions influencing your decision. I sent my mom a picture after I’d picked mine.

Agree with Kimberly. I would keep expectations low.

I would try to reach out to people in your life that are close and will be there for you, and focus on those relationships!

Good luck with your planning and I hope it works out for you!

I don’t think your mom wants to go dress shopping with you. I am sorry. This is hurtful. Find someone you trust to go with you. Invite your mom, but don’t revolve your dress shopping date around her. Maybe she will be more interested in other wedding activities….

I have a bad relationship with my family but i still invited them all with open arms (the ones that would not make a scene and ruin my day) and just have low expectations for if they come or not remember the day is about you and if they couldn’t support that they don’t need to be there anyways and it’s probably better if they don’t come

Oh my god!! i saw your post and related so much.. I then i saw the "Cant leave my dog" comment and was floored because that's exactly what my mom would say!

I have gone through a lot of therapy because i was raised by two adult children, my mom being way more childish, irresponsible, over weight, bi-polar, no accountability, selfish, self centered, and her perception on everything is just jaded, and off.

I also asked my mom to go to a bridal salon with me! when i go to visit her... However mine didn't even say yes or no. She flat out ignored me. I was hoping she would at least want to contribute with my dress but i had to learn the hard way that i can't count on her anymore. I live in (Washington, she lives and raised me in Michigan) i know the feeling of not feeling supported by the one woman who should want to give you the world. I have a son and would break backs for that boy, my mom can't even tell me she doesn't want to go dress shopping...

I've decided to just leave her out of everything. If she doesn't even want to be included on the most iconic mother daughter date of wedding dress shopping why should I include her on everything else? Maybe she will get an invite, lol seriously have contemplated not even inviting her as she will just bring drama to the day.

I want you to know to stay strong and that you are not alone when it comes to cold selfish mothers.