Mother of Bride doesn’t like high elevation venue we chose

That's really a personal decision, and it probably depends on your relationship with your mom. If I were in your shoes, I would find a different venue. Having my mom be able to comfortably and safely attend my wedding is way more important than having my dream venue. That being said, I'm super close to my mom and I value people over place. What does your FH think? Another option to consider if this place is so important to you is having a special photoshoot with your photographer up on the mountains in your wedding attire, or even a private reciting of your vows up there, etc. Just throwing out some ideas. Best of luck in your decision!

It's completely your decision. Me personally I m very close to my mom and if she didn't want to be on oxygen at my wedding and it was possible for her not to be I d change the venue, in my eyes the people make the wedding day so special not the necessarily the venue. If you choose to have it at this venue and she decides not to go because of her health will that upset you? Good luck!

Personally, I never would've chosen a venue that would've forced my mother or mil to wear an oxygen mask. Their comfort and health would've meant more to me than any venue.

View Quoted Comment Ooo I like that and all the responses are such good points and what I needed to hear. I’m an only child and my mom raised me as a single mom. While we do bicker, I do want her comfortable at my wedding.

View Quoted Comment That is a good way to put it! My friends and family I’ve talked about this too have just been saying what we want to hear and saying “it’s YOUR wedding, not hers”. So i needed to hear this perspective, this helps a ton!

View Quoted Comment True, I’m definitely rethinking hints now. These are all really good points

Agree with everyone else so far. A wedding is one day. Picking a venue over your mom's comfort could alter your relationship for the rest of your life. Personally, I'd find another venue and have a photo shoot at a location important to you and your FH. That is likely your best compromise. I would not select a venue over the comfort of my guests, especially one so important to me as my mom.

With COPD, even with oxygen, 8500 ft may be difficult for her medically. That's literally a comfort issue for her. Could you get engagement photos done at the location instead?

View Quoted Comment Love this suggestion!

Our immediate families’ comfort was super important to us— we almost changed from our dream venue to accommodate my BIL who has some mobility issues, but he was insistent he would be okay with it after coming to practice getting around there.


The other thing here is, it’s probably not just your mom. If any of your guests aren’t used to the altitude, they’ll feel the effects. Both my husband and I are pretty altitude sensitive actually. (I get lightheaded and headache-y while acclimating). If we’re talking full reception, I’d also worry anyone not from the mountains might feel the effects of alcohol differently too.
I also think there are a few options to maintain being true to your dreams. A ground level party with a perfect view of the mountains sounds lovely. Perhaps paired with doing an early first look or maybe even private vow exchange up in the mountains?
I was bummed when we were considering changing venue as ours was the ONLY place I ever envisioned myself getting married. But at the end of the day, I realized as long as my husband and I were there and happy, that’s all we really needed — and having neither of us worrying about any family members’ comfort was super important to having us be present in the moment.

I would absolutely never risk my mother's health for my wedding. And looking back at photos could be really heartbreaking if she looks unhappy and has to wear an oxygen mask in all of them. Your responses look like you're agreeing here, so I commend you on being open to a perspective that you didn't necessarily want.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Yeah I’m glad I posted on here, I wasn’t getting this of honest of feedback from friends and other family I have talked to. After seeing all this im going to rethink and change our venue. Thank you to everyone to taking the time to respond 💜

View Quoted Comment Such a good point and I don’t want to be worried about our guests comfort. It is tough to for me to changed from what I envisioned for us but I am now realizing (thanks to all the honest and amazing input on this thread) that it will be for the best to move our venue to a lower location

I think something at a lower level with a view of the mountains would be a good compromise. We had to weigh similar issues with a venue we liked, and we ended up going with a different place so our guests would be more comfortable. In the end, you'll be glad you opted for something that works for everyone