Mother of junior bridesmaid and flower girls wants them to get a spray tan for my wedding.

Of course you have the right to say no, but if they get them for dance competitions already, I don’t see why it would be a big deal for them to get them for your wedding. My opinion is that for most things, it’s best to consult the child and the parent. If they both want it/are ok with it, I think it’s fine.

If you are resolutely opposed to it, then I think you have the right to say no, and your sister should respect your wish. Though if both child and parent are fine with it, it is no big deal. I don't think it is necessarily wrong for girls that age to get a spray tan if they are fine with it.

The last wedding I was in as a bridesmaid, had two flower girls as part of the bridal party. I think the youngest was about 8, and the oldest 10, and they all had spray tans for the occasion, and they all looked completely natural not orange at all. I've heard of flower girls and especially junior bridesmaids having spray tans for weddings, so I don't think it is that uncommon.

Still it is completely up to you.

I would have never thought of that either! If you aren't super opposed and they get them sometimes already, I'd just let her do it if she is paying. If they had never gotten one before, I would say to forego but considering the circumstances I wouldn't think it is a huge deal! Just depends on how you really feel

Not your kids, not your decision.

Yeah, having such a strong feeling about this is a bit odd— as they’re not your children, to me it comes across as critical of your sister’s parenting decisions. This is something they’ve done before and something she is okay with them doing and something they are okay with doing, so I don’t really understand your objections at all. It’s one thing if their your kids and they’ve never done it before and you think they’re too young— that’s totally fine and it’s your call to make . But they’re not so it’s not. I can see expressing “I don’t want unnatural colors in my pics!” but my understanding is that spray tans don’t need to be that way.

9 and 12 year olds get tanned-spray or otherwise, is completely inappropriate. Most of the time the artist has you strip nude to do so.

Ok, this is a hard one for me. I feel like I'm pretty old fashioned about a lot of things. This discussion has me torn. On the one hand, my first reaction was to cringe and think "NO!" they are too young for that!! Keep them away from dangerous chemicals. I love kids, and keeping them safe is always my top priority. Also, I've never heard of flower girls getting a spray tan for a wedding. Sounds kind of ridiculous actually. Plus I would worry that it would look super fake. I want any kids in my wedding to look like kids, not like pageant queens!

Having said all that, after reading more comments, and realizing that these particular girls have already had the experience of spray tanning, and their mother doesn't have a problem with it, then I maybe have to rethink my opinion.

The fact is that it's their mom's call. Simple as that. They are her children, and she gets to decide that sort of thing. But if you're like me, and not really comfortable with that, then be honest with your sister about your feelings. Not in a way that makes her feel like you're telling her how to parent her kids, just from the standpoint of the concerned auntie, wondering if this is ok for them.

I think it’s super weird for a child to get a spray tan but I’d leave it up to her mother 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am surprised they have had spray tans before. Honestly I don’t see how that’s safe/healthy for a child. I think you are correct in questioning this. I think the best person to ask would be whomever you hired for your bridal party. They would know best if it’s safe. I personally don’t think it’s appropriate, and think kids would look ridiculous with a spray tan. However, that it something you need to decide on your own. Clearly your sister thinks it’s ok, but it’s your wedding and you should not do something you’re not completely comfortable with.

These are not your children. If they want a spray tan and their parents are fine with it, you don't get a say at all.

I would say as long as the children and parents are okay with it, let them!

Tanning is not common in my culture. But, I would imagine that your concerns are valid. My MOH is the mother of my godchild and flower girl. There are some hairstyles that she proposed that I wasn’t comfortable with because it added volumes of weave (hair extensions) that I don’t believe are necessary for a four year old girl. I shared my sentiments and told her that we can agree on a hairstyle that is more child appropriate. Nonetheless, that’s her child and she will do whatever because of that. I say this to say that If you’re adamant - no. Do not book it for them. Honestly, I, personally wouldn’t. However, if she still wishes to move forward with that option by all means, SHE can with her own dime, place and separate of you and your adult BMs.

I owned a spray tanning business for the last 10 years. I have tanned kiddos for dance competitions, cheerleading competitions, weddings, summer vacays you name it! Spray tanning products, for the majority, are all natural and completely safe for children. I have even spray tanned expectant mothers. I say if both the kids and parents are okay with the spray tan idea then roll with it.

I know my daughter is a little bit older, she is almost 13 and she got a spray tan for my wedding. (by far not her first one, she has had many) She was my MOH.

That’s a decision for their mom/parents. Them having a tan should affect your wedding in any way.

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It's nice to know that most spray tans are safe for everyone. Thanks for sharing that

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Yea really.. why do you care, if their parents are ok with it what difference does it make to you?

I think you for sure have the right to say no... I thought it was a tad strange but if they do it for dance and the kids and mom are fine than I guess it is ok? but if you do not like it than no

If the mom is okay with it, I would say why not have them get a spray tan! They will get to feel like a real part of the bridal party. It will make the feel special.

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THIS!

I also had a little cringey moment, and I'm a cosmetologist. I'm pretty old-fashioned myself I guess - I still think it's weird when small children get their hair colored. (Maybe this is because when I was growing up kids just didn't do that sort of thing.)

I will add that it's good you're having this conversation now because it would have been way more awkward to unknowingly show up on the day-of and find spray tanned children running around everywhere. (I don't know why the thought of this makes me laugh but it does. ) And I do agree that if Mom is OK with it and wants to cover the cost then by all means, maybe just let them do it. Is it a little weird? I think so, but that's just my opinion and you know what they say about opinions...