Mother of the bride controlling bridal shower!!

The mother of the bride can host the bridal shower. I have been a bridesmaid quite a few times and I've seen many of times where the mother actually hosted the bridal shower. Whoever is hosting the bridal shower can host it the way that they want to. If I were you I would have the maid of honor step in and let her know that you ladies to take care of all the planning you'll take care of who to invite and here's a date we would love to have you there I just leave it at that. I would not include her or even respond to her request for the bridal shower. You may need to even have the bride step in and talk to her mother and say let these girls do it how they want to otherwise if you wanted a certain way then you organized and pay for it.

The bride should be the one to tell you who to invite, not the mother. For my shower, my sister hosted and I just gave her a list of all the people I wanted to invite. Does the bride want to include all these people? I think if it's just the mother insisting on inviting that many people, she can host her own shower. Or at least contribute financially.

You need to tell her no and then stop engaging her in discussions about the shower. If she isn’t hosting and isn’t contributing financially, she gets zero say in anything to do with the shower.

If y'all are in your 20's did you meet in high school/college? I would do a bridal shower with only girls y'alls age in your college town. Then you don't have to invite 10 million people and the mother isn't included at all. If she wants to be included, she's welcome to host one herself.

I don't mean to sound harsh when I say this but if the mother of the bride isn't contributing financially to the bridal shower, she does not get a say in who is invited, where it is, decorations or what happens at the shower. In my personal opinion, having 60 people at a bridal shower is just outrageous to me. I would put your foot down. Tell her unless she contributes to the shower, she is welcome to come as guest, but nothing more. If she wants to control everything and invite that many people, let her throw her own shower.

I'm not sure of the situation with whether or not the bride knows about the shower, but if she does, it may not hurt to ask her to talk to her mom. If you're uncomfortable having her get involved, then I'd say talk to the bride's mother yourself. It isn't fair that she isn't paying part of the costs with you and the other bridesmaids but is trying to control everything.

If one of my bridesmaids were in this situation, I'd want them to reach out to me privately and explain what was going on so I could talk to my mother privately and explain she can't be inviting people and planning the shower if she can't contribute. This didn't happen to me, my mother hosted my entire shower because she didn't want to financially burden my bridesmaids, but I know not everyone is that lucky.

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This exactly. She can't have it both ways. Either she pays for it herself, and can host and invite whoever she wants, or she has to let the bridesmaids handle it, including the guest list. It's always been my experience that the bride has a lot of say over the guest list, assuming the number of guests is within the hosts' budget.

Bridesmaids need to take this back and consult the bride over the guest list. Stop telling mom any details.

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Agree! Mom is crossing the line!

The bride should be giving you a guest list. Also, if the mother wants to host the bridal shower, that means she needs to pay for it. That’s how hosting works.