Mother of the bride from ….

Congrats on your engagement!! I know it's alot to think about and reactions from family can stir up big feelings. The thing to do right now is lay low. Enjoy your engagement for a little while. You and your FH need to talk about your wedding before you go discussing it with your parents. It would be fine if she was excited and wanted to talk about it but obviously mom has some fear and control issues that she will need to work through. It's probably about for her to prices right now.
You and FH need to discuss your budget and where you're getting the money. Are you relying on your parents to fund the whole wedding? If so, they are going to get a say. If you don't want that, the best thing to do is to pay for the wedding yourselves. Start looking through venue and other vendor costs in your area to get an idea of what you're going to need and set your budget for what you can afford. Start drafting your guest list now and decide how many you'll want because that will impact the budget. Beware that making the guest list usually starts alot of conflict with parents. But you can do this.

*alot for her to process right now.

Congratulation! I agree with Candace. Get her off the topic of your wedding and enjoy your engagement. Sit down with your partner and talk about about budget, who is paying for what and if your parents are help because as Candace said they will have a say so. There are things that she can help with like the venue, she can start helping you look since some places are booking for 2023.

Congratulations on your engagement! Soak that up before you think about planning. Then unless you want her strings and conditions, prepare to pay for it yourselves without any assistance. Once someone else contributes any money, even a couple dollars, they get a say in the decisions. This is your wedding and you and fiancé should be making all the decisions. Mom already got married and probably had someone else plan for her so she thinks that is how it is done. Talk to your dad about him reining her in so she doesn’t overstep if she is not explicitly asked to help without conditions.

Congrats Emma! I agree with the others. Take time to enjoy your engagement. No one should be pressuring you to do anything. Figure out if you can afford the wedding yourselves so that no one has a say.
Also, stop giving details of what you are planning so that Mom or anyone can’t turn them into negatives. Just say that you are working on it and move on to another subject. The less details you share, the less opinions you will get. I’ve learned this along my planning journey.

Enjoy some time free of wedding planning first for a bit.

If this string pulling is already started, I'd decline any help from her and plan the wedding you want and can afford.