Mother uninvited to wedding. Been a very bad morning!

I hope you guys can talk this through once things have calmed down. The focus of the wedding is you and your fiance. Since he knows the situation better than any of us maybe he can help mediate.

Weddings have a way of bringing out the best in people. ((hugs))

Then I call her back and tell her the emotional blackmail would not be tolerated. She said "tomorrows my bday and your ruining my day" and hung up. So I texted her that that was it, she was no longer welcome at my wedding. She keeps calling and I finally answered once and told her NO, she and my dad need to work their Sh** out and it wasnt about me. People get divorced all the time and they need to work out their own issues. It's been 9 years! In the meantime she wasn't welcome to my wedding. How dare she make me feel blamed for whats going on with my grandmother. Now she says she will tell my grandmother and then I'll see what happens. I told her that was her choice and I was done with her and again, she wasnt coming to the wedding. She keeps calling, FH keeps deleteing the voicemails so I dont have to hear them. Its been a horrible horrible morning dealing with her. rant over

Weddings also have a way of bringing out the worst in people. There's no talking to somebody who behaves like this. Well, at least not with any efficiency.

I am really, really sorry it has come to this. Are you going to talk to your grandma?

How awful. Have you talked to your Grandmother? I realize your parents don't have a good relationship, but how is your relationship with your dad.

I hate to say it but maybe it's for the best. If it's been 9 years and she can't get over the issues with your dad than maybe she just shouldn't be there. You never how she would act at the wedding. It seems like your dad isn't complaining about her being there. She needs to understand that it's your day and you can invite whoever you want.

Mags How horrible!! I hope that things smooth over before the wedding. We're having drama, but it's mostly stuff that can't be controlled. What you're going through... your mother should be ashamed. To say "You're ruining my day" because it's her birthday... gadzooks!!! How childish!!!! I almost forgot it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, haha!!!!!

At any rate, you're in my thoughts and prayers, and i hope it works out soon.

*HUGZ!!*

I'm divorced and I agree. Children should not take the fall and suffer for choices their parents make. Ex and I cannot stand eachother, but dammit we show up at our daughter's school functions and put on Oscar-worthy performances.

To me it sounds like wedding stress and her mother's health are combining into a perfect storm. She's lashing out and you're feeding right into it and giving her the fight she's looking for. Anyone would try to defend themselves. She's said some really hurtful things.

I work as a writer and it's what comes naturally to me so I would send an email or text. Tell her she hurt you deeply this morning and you need to distance yourself right now. Tell her you want to talk about this and work out a resolution, but you cannot do it right and hope that she'll feel ready to talk in a couple days. Take the high road and apologize.

If you weren't looking for advice, and just needed to vent, then disregard. I hope you guys can work thru this ((hugs))

My grandmother is not in the same state so going in person to speak to her is not possible at the moment. My dad already said if he was invited he was keeping his mouth shut and could be polite to my mom. I believe him. We have not been in contact in 9 years until recently because of everything that happen between them but have been working on building a relationship between us. More of a friendship as he has pretty much lost the privilage of being my "dad." However he has been very eager to work on our relationship and very supportive of my lfe as far as going to grad school and other things. My mother told me I wasn't book smart and doesnt see why I am going to grad school :/ Total BS I'm at the top of my class!

I haven't told my grandmother yet because I wanted to make sure I wanted to invite my dad. It was MY decsision. Now that I have decided she has been dealing with the stroke and being sick. I ddidnt want to burden her with my moms Dramas.

We'll always have paris- Thanks for the advice, but I will never ever apologize to her for the evil things she has done to me. This is the latest of a long,very long, stream of stunts she has pulled.

First of all, I am so proud of you Mags for standing up to your mom. I know it took a lot of courage for you to do so!

I am sorry that she was being so evil to do this. I know stuff will work out with your grandma. She will be happy to be there I am sure. **hugs**

My grandmother is crying at the moment so I am at least going to give her a day to recover from the Dr's. I plan to call her later to check on her so if she is calm then I will talk to her. She was told yesterday for certain there is nothing further they can do for her eyes to slow it down and its really hard on her She loves to read,work and drive and can no longer do any of those things.

Mags, I'm so sorry this is happening. Your mother sounds very manipulative and emotionally abusive. You're a very brave and strong person for standing up to her. It's always better to cut toxic people out of your life, no matter who they are or what they've done for you in the past.

Hugs!

Aww @Mags I'm sorry to hear about this

Thanks Ladies. Ugh she keeps texting me tryin to throw me on a guilt trip. FH finally turned my phone off for awhile.

Aw Mags I am so sorry for all of the turmoil your mother is in. And to hear about your grandmother. I hope your grandmother knows how much you love her.

Mrs. S.... I agree weddings and funerals bring out the worst and people's "true colors". My exhusbands mother decided the night before our wedding that she wasn't coming because at the time we were in a one bedroom apartment, had everything unorganized and piles of laundry to do and she wanted to come te night before and stay with us. We offered to get a hotel near by and she declined and acted childish arguing with her son and hung up on him. She never showed up to wedding

That stinks Aimes. It's always fun when the parents act like the children :/ She keeps going on about how tomorrow is her Bday...thats all she seems to care about.

So sorry, Mags!! I will keep your grandma in my thoughts and prayers that she find the peace and strength to deal with this. I can't imagine how tough it must be! And for your mother, as well. Like Paris said, sounds like all the stress is more than she can handle, but breakdowns like you've been talking about are absolutely unacceptable!! So glad FH is supporting you!!

So sorry to hear such a bad situation Mags, I would just ignore her right now and take care of yourself and it seems you love and care so much about your grandmother, let it be with your Mom maybe the silent treatment will finally catch up to her and she'll come to her senses!

I'm so sorry to hear all of this Definitely talk to your grandmother directly one way or another. As for your mom, if it were me I'd tell her that I care about her, but that discussions are not productive when there are accusations and anger. I'd tell her that I want to talk this through and come to an understanding, but that needs to happen when she is calm and willing to understand and respect my point of view as well as her own. It would preferably not be done over the phone but face to face. I don't know if any of this helps, but just thought I'd offer it.

Perhaps your mom has a lot on her plate and she mis-spoke. Did you question if you heard her right?


Weddings are a lot of pressure. My son just uninvited to his wedding after letting spend thousands to travel to his wedding.
I'm heartbroken. It will probably change our relationship for good...there is no re-dos... so before you uninvited your parents realize you might have kicked yourself in the mouth down the road.