Mother wants me to push my wedding back

.....I feel like pushing back the wedding start time because there is a possibility that your sister's race may be delayed in the event of rain seems a little much. I would honestly leave it as is, especially since you are having an outdoor wedding and need time to clean up and such.

Lol.. no. “No.” is a complete sentence.

Think about this, what if it rains the entire day and the meet gets totally cancelled? Then you’ve pushed back your wedding for no reason at all. I’d say sorry mom but this is my wedding time, for all we know her event could be pushed back even further than 3pm, or be cancelled if inclement weather.. let’s hope for the best and if her event does get pushed back, she won’t make my wedding and I understand that. WE chose this wedding time for a reason and we don’t want to change it.

Your wedding, your choice. You don’t want the time changed then it doesn’t happen. Mom already got married and had things the way she chose so this is your time to shine. Learn how to set and maintain boundaries now because you all the practice you can get because people pressuring you to do things their way with no regard for your wants and needs will continue after the wedding.

Let's say you do push it back to 5 and your sister runs at 3..is she really going to be able to complete her run, get to your wedding venue and be ready in time for 5, as well as photos before? Probably not. In my opinion, its not worth pushing your wedding time back regardless if the race gets pushed back or not (and that's a big IF). This is YOUR day. If you want the wedding at 4, have it at 4.

In my opinion I would keep it at 4pm!

Ha. No way. Also, not for nothing but if this is for next year…there’s no way to even know your sister will qualify! I mean, I certainly hope she does, for her, but there are way too many “ifs” in this situation.

View Quoted Comment It is for next year and she’s going off the fact that this year it rained the day before and they pushed the race to 3pm. So many ifs and she really hasn’t been very nice since this discussion cause I said no and laughed. I understand where she’s coming from but it’s my day. I really don’t even wanna open the discussion again cause it feels like it’s gonna open up a much needed discussion over who my mom puts first constantly. She chooses her for everything over me and it’s literally my wedding. She has been a momzilla to say the least and my dj who I’ve known since 6th grade and who has worked with my mom who is a minister said that she needed to calm down and was being crazy.

You only get married once usually lol and as someone who’s having a fall wedding I can’t imagine pushing it back an hour all your photos will be in a dark most of your reception will be in the dark and you’ll be lucky if your ceremony isn’t in the dark as well don’t push it back of course people will be upset but not everyone can be happy it’s most important that you and your fiancé are the happiest and if your decision is to keep it at its time and not push you back and you should leave it at that

What does your sister say about this? Actually, it doesn’t matter. It’s a definite “no”.
Sis better be on her forest gump A game that day.

That sucks, but wouldn't your sister still be able to attend if the race was at 3pm? How long is the race? She might just have to miss the first half. It's a hard situation, but there will always be other things going on that people want you to plan around. I wouldn't move it back an hour.

View Quoted Comment My sister honestly always sides with my mother because she is spoiled and can treat me however she wants because my mother blames me for the way that she acts and says I deserve it so honestly ya know 😬😬

You should absolutely not base the start time of your wedding around the mere possibility that your sister might be in a race that day and it might rain and the race time might change. To knowingly compromise your wedding but pushing the time back to when it will most certainly be dark on the "what if" situation described makes zero sense.

4pm is an appropriate start time for a wedding, and possibly even a bit late for late fall (often weddings in the darker months start closer to 2-3pm). Additionally just because the race event was moved back from 11am to 3pm this year doesn't even mean they would do the same next year if it did rain - depending on conditions they might move the start time only by an hour or so, or they could change the day entirely if there was a more severe weather event like a hurricane or heavy rains that erode the course, etc.

I'm the athletic director at a college and have coached XC before, as well as coordinated logistics for many outdoor sporting events. Google sunrise/sunset times are accurate, it gets dark fast in late October (if its an overcast day, expect it to be darker even before the sun officially "sets"), and even the best planned races sometimes change for reasons no one can predict or control, in ways that are unforeseen. Proceed with your wedding as planned.

Your sister should NOT be the priority here. It sounds like your mom favorites her, which is kind of appalling on your wedding day.

Under no circumstances should you give in. This is your wedding, ffs, you're allowed to come first on that day. Just do not discuss it with them, your wedding is at 4 pm, period. You're not required to explain yourself, they must accommodate their schedules to suit your timeline, not the other way around.

View Quoted Comment

This is really sad and I am sorry your mum favours your sister like this. Is she going to be in your bridal party at all? Is your mum going to force that too?