Moving in before wedding

I lived with my husband for 4 years before we got married. 4 years and 2 kids before marriage. During that time we both lost jobs and were unemployed for a time (opposite times) and things were tight. You make it work. Moving into together is a personal decision but I strongly believe that you should live with someone before you marry them. You will never really know someone until you live with them.

Personally FH and I bought a house and have been living together for a year. I have a 7 year old so it was important for him to be able to build more of a relationship with my daughter also before we got married. I understand he doesn't want to go against his parents wishes but he has to grow up and listen to what would be best for your relationship too. He sounds respectful though listening to his parents concerns

I would say wait! Moving in together can be really stressful and a huge change. Add that to the stress of wedding planning and it'll be tough. Moving in together 2 months later is no big deal, you have a lifetime together. I would wait.

We moved in together shortly after we got engaged. We had already been planning on moving in together. By living together we each are paying half as much as when we were living apart. We opened a joint checking account and still deposit what we used to pay in bills. We are planning on using this money as a down payment on our future house. We would not be able to save this money if we were living separately.

I agree with the "red flag" comment able. FH and I have been engaged for 3 years and living together for two. In our case, it would have saved us money to live apart, but we wanted to have a home and buckle down before we set money aside for the wedding. It was a bumpy ride for the first year, but we stuck it through and we're happier than we've ever been. Living with someone is serious business- things you never noticed will come out. But I'm happier having gotten through that part before the wedding- We didn't want to be the "newlywed" couple that struggled to get adjusted. When they say the first year is the hardest, they aren't joking.

My FH and I moved in together right after we got engaged, pretty much immediately as he never went back home other than to get his things after that.

I'm a big proponent of living together before marriage to see if you're truly compatible. That said, if I were just a few months away from our wedding and hadn't lived together yet, I might just wait.

1. Living together for a couple months is probably not enough time to discover incompatibilities you hadn't noticed before. Not to say there are incompatibilities between you. But if there are, I'm not sure you'll know immediately after moving in together and in time to cancel the wedding if that were the right course of action. I've been with FH 8 years, living together 6-- and even in a fantastic relationship there will be unique challenges to blending your lives. But with time it becomes apparent that the challenges are worth it or trivial and you're still meant to be together but he's just not as perfectly perfect specimen as you thought when you didn't see him poop all the time.

2. You'd have two stressful life changes at the same time. Moving in with someone and planning a wedding. If you move AFTER the wedding, you only have the second stressor once the first one is gone.

3. This one is more of an emotional appeal and only because it is so close to the wedding date: When you're already living together, not much changes when you get married. So, if I was very close to the wedding date, I would probably just wait and get to feel that exciting change in dynamic. I remember that it was very exciting to move in with FH and I can only imagine how exciting that would have been if it was catapulted by a wedding high, too.

My parents moved in together the night before/morning of their wedding day. They were physically exhausted. I would try to sort out the logistics better than them.

As of now we've been living together for two years and our wedding is three months away. We got engaged after about a year of living together. I think it's so important to live together before marriage as long as your religious beliefs don't forbid it.

Do it. It's so worth it. I personally believe it would save a lot of problem is you work out the kinks and eachs quirks before the wedding. Besides, it'll bring you closer. And you'll have a routine kinda set so it won't be so overwhelming after the wedding, you'll have enough to take care of

I suggest getting the apartment if you can, move your belongings there and get it set up. Figure out where you want to put things while you still have somewhere else to stay and get your place organized. Then when it's 'move in together' time you're not trying to live out of boxes which can be even more stressful.

Is he going to make every life decision based on what his parents think? Do they get to determine if and when you have children? If he's adult enough to get married, he's adult enough to decide his own living arrangement. I'd tell him to man up and make his own decision.

What else will his parents dictate about your life together? You are grown adults and can do what you want. FH and I moved in together after 6 months of dating, were engaged 6 months later, and are getting married this January. These were our choices as adults. Did his parents like it? Not so much. They are religious and old-fashioned. But, they are also cool and reasonable people, and understand that we are old enough to make our own choices. Time to have a talk with your future hubs about how much he will let his parents influence his decision making, and how that will affect your future marriage.

I moved in before we got engaged (we had discussed marriage before, had a not-written-in-stone idea on timing).

I would say that if his only reason is his parents, that's not a good reason.

Living together first is great we've been together 6 years and living together for 1. I learned more about him that 1 year then the rest of the time we were together.

FH and I moved in together before we were ever engaged (about 3 months on our own until he proposed). I think it's a great idea, a lot changes when you're together 24/7 lol

ETA: to clarify, not changes in a bad way, you just learn more about each other (:

You are adults- you don't need your parents approval. If he thinks you can't afford it in June, how can you afford it in August? What will change between now and then?? I'm with you that moving and unpacking is VERY stressful and time-consuming. Also, FYI- first living together definitely causes some "growing pains" and can bring up some stress, bickering, etc. I would not want all of that on top of my wedding and would definitely support moving in before your wedding month.

I've been with my FH for almost 5 years, we do not live togther, because he's always dreamed of owning a house, and he will not rent! When he got the promotion in his job he proposed to me (it was 8 months ago) now he knows that he can maintain both of us (even though I work) we are saving for the wedding and to buy our home, we will have enough money by December and will proceed to buy a house then, and in March we will be getting married.

I have been living together for a year now living in a different state due to his job and everything has been smooth sailing. I was not moving after we got married!

I've lived with FH for 5 years. However we don't have the type of parents who frown upon that kind of thing. And even if we did, we would anyway.

I lived with my husband for 8 years before our wedding. So far, so good.