Moving to the suburbs after getting married, a mistake?

The other people have great perspectives. I think you should think about what kinds of things you liked to do and if those will still be available in the burbs. I am really into cross-fit and in a running club, and I'm not sure if I could find those things in every suburb. Is there a hobby you or your fiance have that would be harder to do in the city?

We don't have any children and we live in the suburbs. We live in a town that has some pretty good restaurants but for a real food/arts/cultural scene we drive into the city. We have friends and do things in town. There's absolutely nothing wrong with living in the suburbs.

I've only ever known the suburbs in the south.

My fiancé and I live in a very quiet, family neighborhood and we adore it. And we have no plans of having children in the foreseeable future. While I don't live close enough to really walk to anything, my neighborhood is close enough to everything that it is a very convenient drive to whatever I want or need.

We live a fairly typical twenties lifestyle. We frequent our downtown for dinner or drinks multiple times a week, go to the gym, shop, grocery shop, etc. and it's never more than a quick 5-10 minute drive for us. We also own our home and our mortgage is a fraction of what I've seen some pay in rent.

I think both have their pros and cons! If nothing else, it may just be a nice change of scenery for you! You may love it or hate it -- the good thing is, you're never stuck anywhere and can always change your mind!

Yes! I was going to mention in my original comment that we actually love living in a family neighborhood. We love to walk around the neighborhood in the evenings and we always stop and chat with other families and neighbors. My fiancé also works night shift, so it's really nice to have neighbors who, pretty literally, watch out for me while he's gone.

I live in a college town, so being out in the suburbs, you're close enough to all of the trendy things if you wanted to do them, but far enough away to not feel like it's in your backyard! If that makes sense.

Normally in the suburbs, you'll find that there are a lot of local places you'll fall in love with and totally want skip some of the more trendy things to do. My fiancé and I have a local bar and grill that we go to so frequently for dinner that we get the workers Christmas gifts LOL. I think you'll find that to be true in a lot of areas in the suburbs! It sounds like it may be something you may really enjoy -- I say give it a go!

This is a decision only you and your fiancé can make. I wouldn't let your family make this decision for you. That being said, it doesn't really sound like you do all that much currently in the city even before Covid. By moving you might actually save money which would enable you to do more because you will have more money to do things.

I'm from a rural town in Minnesota (about 45 minutes from the Twin Cities) and my mom would take us to the cities all the time to experience the museums and theatre shows (she was a big theatre person so we went often). The car rides kind of sucked but it wasn't the end of the world.

When I moved back to Minnesota after college with my FH (then boyfriend) we moved to Northeast Minneapolis. I did love being able to walk places but, safety was a concern, especially during this past summer (we never had to leave but, our rental was on a more residential street). However, parking is always a mess and it was harder when the pandemic shut down a lot of the city benefits.

I have a theatre degree so there are perks to living in the cities (as Minneapolis is I think the second-largest theatre scene in the country after New York) however, we moved to a Minnesota suburb this last August and I'm loving it! It's quieter and we are renting a bigger apartment for the same amount of space. We also are only 20 minutes from those city perks (which will come in handy when my job market opens back up...thanks Covid). And there are still many different types of restaurants. Plus the free parking is relaxing!

I've lived in three types of Minnesota living and I think suburb is the best of the three. It's a nice in-between world. I would do a little research on the area you might move to and see what restaurants, activities, festivals, and facilities there might be. Make a pro and con list based on both of your needs.

Thank you for sharing! That's true that if we try it out, it doesn't have to be forever. Were you just crazy bored out in the suburbs? That's my family's biggest thing, they moved out for a period too and thought it was a huge snoozefest

This was really helpful advice for me. Thank you for bringing up parking! I used to be able to get around without a car, but I had to buy one during the pandemic because public transportation wasn't the best and I could no longer take the Amtrak to visit my sister's family. Have not enjoyed being a city car owner.

I'm glad to hear that you still find the city amenities accessible too. We would be about a half hour away from the city if we moved to the area we are considering.

You're welcome! Yeah, parking is a common thing forgotten about until you get stressed about it many times during the week. And yeah 20-30 minutes seems like a lot of time but if you do day or half-day trips, you don't even notice it (in my opinion). Plus as others have said if you find a cheaper apartment in the suburbs, you might have more money to do fun things in the cities.

Going to echo PP that this is a "know thyself" situation that only you can answer.

I grew up in the suburbs of all suburbs (Connecticut), very much a bedroom community. My fiance grew up in a suburb of a midsize city in the South (200k), and having spent a couple of months there, I hope we'll get to move to his hometown eventually. When I was a teenager I wanted to move to NYC, but I could never live there now, for all the reasons you mentioned about your place - not getting much for your rent $, crime/riots, being stuck in a tiny apartment during covid, etc. I like having a yard, our apartment faces the woods, I often leave my car unlocked.

This is just my impression, but I find that people who prefer cities and cultural scenes constantly need to be trying new things, new restaurants, new shows, new classes, etc. In the suburbs or rural areas, you might have fewer or only a couple of restaurants that you like, but they become "your place" - comfortable and familiar, people who know your name. If you want to try something new, you go on an adventure to a different restaurant in a nearby town.

A final anecdote...my favorite place that I've lived as an adult was a rental house in a small, rural mountain town in the South. The "city" had 2500 people and we lived a few miles outside the city limits. Couldn't even get an internet hookup. I was coming from an apartment complex next to a supermarket plaza and across from a car dealership, on a busy road, and was concerned I'd be frustrated living 15 minutes away from the closest grocery store. But I loved it, and being away from town - as small as the town was - didn't bother me. The solitude was incredible; it was a peaceful, quiet life and just what I needed after a long day at work. But other people would have hated that, for sure. It completely depends on the person.

I grew up in the suburbs, and DH in NYC. We now live in the "sixth borough", on the Jersey side.

You couldn't pay me to go back to the burbs.

First, while housing MIGHT be cheaper (maybe), you then HAVE to have a car, and insurance, and gas, and parking, and commute time. So, cost-benefit analysis for me is just a wash. There's no upside. Right now, we don't have to have a car, so we don't have one. Saves so much money. (And if you walk everywhere, who needs the gym?)

Your neighborhood isn't always going to be shut down. But if you don't like it, then absolutely move.

Are there neighborhoods on the outskirts of your city that you might like more?