Multi cultural family drama?

Im Hispanic, come from a large family & we are definitely loud! My daughter is gay & married a wonderful lady. He’s Caucasian, smaller family & quiet. My mother in law didn’t want the younger children to know that my daughter is married to a woman & kept telling them that she was her best friend. I wasn’t going to hide anything & I’m definitely not ashamed! She also didn’t want her sister there & tried to tell us that she wasn’t invited. My husband told her that wasn’t a decision she gets to make as we paid for everything! Either you accept what is or you don’t- I didn’t play into the drama. It was our wedding & we weren’t going to let anything cloud the mood!

I'm half Filipino (mom's side), and FH is Caucasian and we struggled with it at the beginning of wedding planning.

In the Philippines, it's customary for the couple to pay for literally everyone in the family to get their hair and makeup done if they want it (at least from what my mom has told me). She was shocked when we told her that we're only paying for those included IN the wedding and she wasn't too happy. Her family is also very big on including everyone in the ceremony since there's so many aspects to a traditional Filipino wedding, and she wasn't too happy when she found out that our ceremony isn't what she expected.

I just sat her down and told her that just because we aren't sticking to traditions, it doesn't mean we don't love my side of the family. It's our wedding, so we have every right to include/not include what we want. Since then she's gotten a lot better and backed off.

Yes. unfortunately. I am Polish and FH is American. It has been a struggle trying to deal with the wedding since the very beginning.

My mother is very adamant about the Polish culture being the best and always tells me "don't get your hopes up with those "Americans"... It has been pretty disgusting to hear her comments and talking smack to everyone. (It really comes down to me not marrying a Polish man I feel- such a shame) But, there is nothing I can do and I am living my life 100% happy.

I am not following a lot of Polish traditions and my mother is not too happy with that. In the end, it is MY and my FH's wedding, not anyone else's. We chose what to do and that is it. Sure, it can be seen as disrespectful to many not honoring my Polish side, but the truth is I hate the traditions we have and what they stand for. I don't have a great relationship with the culture, and for me that is okay. I have a couple of Polish traditions and that is to honor my late grandmother, who I loved so very much, and breaks my heart she won't be with us for our special day.

I have let some things slide from my family, but most things I shut down right away. "not your wedding, not your say" and that was pretty much it.

In the end, you have to be firm, stand your ground, and do what YOU and your FH want. Sometimes it's hard yes, but you are the ones getting married! Try to find ways to tie in both cultures, but do not focus on one or the other. Set boundaries. Do what YOU want!

*When it comes to money though, whoever is paying, unfortunately, will have a lot of, if not most, of the say when it comes to the wedding. So if that is the case- try to be respectful, compromise, and remind them "hey thanks for contributing, we really appreciate it, but it is our day and this is what we want.." I am paying for 99% of the wedding, so not a lot of say from my family which is good. This may be a sticky situation for some, so I hope the best for you!