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Devoted May 2020

Mutual proposal?

Lizbeth, on April 15, 2019 at 7:05 AM Posted in Planning 0 6

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Brace yourselves this a long one eh!!!

Sooooo, we agreed on getting married, he didn't propose like in the movies, the kneeling and asking and the big shiny ring. We just one day started talking about it and we decided we were going to marry. I am completely satisfied with that, specially not being my first marriage, and he doesn't mind not doing the whole classic proposal thing.

One of the things I wanted to do is get the ring sets for a reasonable amount, since our budget is a bit limited. He wanted to go big and expensive but I did talked him down and told him i rather save for a house before we turn 50, you know what I mean? So, he agreed on a moderate price that I found gorgeous ring sets for and I am in love with them! But we haven't bought them yet.

The problem is, we don't want to come out and let everyone know just yet, we plan on having a long engagement (two years to be exact) because of money and us wanting to have a bit more to get us a nice wedding. We come from Hispanic families and they are extremely extra and we are less extra than most of them and we just want something simple and that would show our personalities and be OUR day instead of theirs and ours... That's how massively extra they are.

We decided (when I say we, I meant me mostly cause you know how men don't get too involved) that we would announce our wedding around the 6 month mark by sending save the dates. I liked this idea simply because I can say that I'm already set for the day and I don't need any help if they "offer" or try to poke their ideas down my throat. I do want to wear my ring since the get go but we don't want the pressure of they telling us when, where and how to get married and asking why we are taking so long and why wait till that day and all that crap I do not want to deal with.

All that being said.... I want to brag! I want to announce it to the world! My parents know but that's about it.. Makes me a little sad inside and in the end, I know it's what's best for us but... Ya'll get it right? I'm not crazy right!? 😭

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Latest activity by Lizbeth, on April 15, 2019 at 9:26 AM

Super June 2019
Mary · on April 15, 2019 at 8:18 AM
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Congratulations. Even if you tell your familynyoure engaged you can still take your time. We dated 12 years before we got engaged. It was the same as you, mutual engagement. We decided one day we wanted to get married. We bought the ring like 3 months later. We didn't set a date until about 2 years into it. In the beginning we were constantly asked "so what have you planned". I would answer "me getting an internship and studying for classes 🤷🏾‍♀️". Eventually they stopped asking.

Now I graduate next month and we get married in June. It will have been a 4.5 year engagement and we will have been together 16.5 years. I wouldn't have chosen it any other way.

Like you said you know what is best for you. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you have the money saved up so you can do what you want. It will be perfect and you will have fun. Good luck on everything.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 15, 2019 at 8:28 AM
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We were similar in that it was a mutual engagement (FH did give me a ring about a week later). We did not want to keep it from our families.

Do you think your families would listen if you politely said "we don't need any help?" Otherwise, if you are really dead set on people not butting in, you would have to probably where the ring only when they aren't around or they could get suspicious.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on April 15, 2019 at 8:55 AM
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Congratulations on your engagement. Try not to let family get to you, and enjoy this special time planning the wedding y'all want.
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Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on April 15, 2019 at 9:20 AM
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OH wow! you brave soul! I don't think i would be able to do that, I'm too hot blooded and explosive.Thank you and congrats! You have waited so long and i tip my fedora to you m'lady lol. Honestly that is some will power you have!!!
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Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on April 15, 2019 at 9:26 AM
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The problem is i am completely sure they will butt in either way. And about the ring, i dont think we will be getting the rings just yet so im not worried about that just yet.
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Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on April 15, 2019 at 9:26 AM
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Thank you so much!!!
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Mutual proposal?

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