My best friend didn't give me a plus one for my boyfriend...

Honestly, she's in the wrong here, etiquette-wise. A significant other is not a plus one. Plus ones are for single people. Couples should always be invited by name as couples, since they are a social unit.

If you are in a serious relationship you should have received a plus one. But if it's something really small and she's only having a select few people you may want to ask her if you can just pay the cost for him

I wouldn’t even consider attending a destination wedding where my partner was excluded.

Your friend broke a major rule of etiquette here. Your BF should have been invited and included in the original guest list. I don't blame you if you don't want to go. The decision is up to you!

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I mentioned it to my other best friend who is even closer with her (they're two peas in a pod) ... but she said it's more about space for seating. Her words, "She's worried about space. If there are only tables for 10, she can't just add one more person to a random table"

He should have been included in the original guest list. She is definitely in the wrong "B" listing your boyfriend. I understand wanting to support your friend, but I'd have a hard time when she isn't validating your relationship. I probably wouldn't attend if it were me.

RSVP for 2.
In all honesty, I probably wouldn't go. And rethink that person being my BEST friend. I cut distant family before I cut significant others of me nearest and dearest friends.

My fiance and I have been together for over a decade and I'm still salty about the weddings he has attended and I didnt get invited too. Sometimes I would get invited after the final rsvps come in. I'm hoping that is what happens in your case! I'll cross my fingers for you that he gets to join!!! No advice except think happy thoughts and hope for the best.

You can always RSVP no. If she asks, you can say that a destination wedding is too much of a stretch when you're unemployed and don't know when you'll be working again.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't go if you want to. But you're not obligated to attend her wedding, especially if it's a financial stretch for you. And while you'd like to go to support her, she isn't really supporting you when she says you have to leave your boyfriend behind.

Some people have a no ring no bring rule. I am NOT saying your relationship doesn't matter. I am simply saying that some people draw the line where it's the clearest, so they don't have to trudge thru who's in a "serious" relationship and who's "just seeing" someone. I wouldn't take it as a slight, esp since they haven't even met your bf. Your friend is prob overwhelmed by wedding planning and may not realize the gravity of your relationship.
You can simply decline to go. I personally feel that it's inconsiderate to make a guest travel alone to a destination wedding. It's terrible to have to wait at an airport by yourself, and it's hard to drive long distance alone. At the same time, I don't know why "etiquette" dictates that a person must always be invited with their SO. But that's just me. I live under a rock.

View Quoted Comment Willow, you make a lot of good points that I agree with. I just had to ask my cousin if he has a gf bc he's hiding it from the family. He thought I was being gossipy, but I just needed to know for guest list purposes. Apparently, they've been dating for a year. It was awkward. Also, my FH and I are both currently unemployed right now (long story). I totally get how it would be a stretch to swing a dw wedding and if I were you I'd be questioning if she's really my best friend. I get that they're in a different city, but my best friend lived 4 hours away and met my bf within the first 4 months of us dating. If money is tight and your bf could go, would he pay for himself? These are just some of the things I'd ask myself.

I would RSVP no, if she asked you why you aren’t attending then you can say it’s bc she didn’t invite ur bf.

She is definitely in the wrong here. First she told you that you could bring him and now you can’t? Rescinding an invitation is very rude. And a plus one is for truly single people, not a couple. I would be very hesitant to celebrate her relationship when she is not respecting yours.

I agree with the PP that it is rude to say he's invited then basically uninvite him. I understand how crazy wedding planning is, and how expensive, so I am sympathetic to the bride, too, who must be under a lot of pressure (from probably even more guests who would like their SOs invited). It's up to you if you want to go to a destination wedding alone (I'm assuming it's a destination wedding for you but not the bride and her family? 150-200 guests is a lot for a destination wedding otherwise!). Are you in the wedding party by chance? For me, if I couldn't really afford to attend and my SO wasn't invited, I'd probably send a gift and not go.

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I agree and I will add that if I was unemployed I would not go due to that. Save your money, decline because of the $$ issue and not make it because of your SO not being invited.

Your friend was wrong for not including him.

I mean I see where everyone says it's not good etiquette to do that but I also completely see what the bride means when she says she just doesn't have room. I didn't allow all my friends to include their boyfriends to my wedding either because I just really simply was at Max capacity and it was just really no hard feelings for anyone at all. But I do think it's rude she told you yes and then no. I worded it as I'll let you know if there's space later after all RSVPs are in. So I never told anyone they can have their plus one right off the bat the way she did.

While she technically is correct with the old fashioned rules of who to invite, they are outdated and she had already told you he was invited. I would tell her that since you are not working right now, your boyfriend was footing the bill to come to her wedding, and since he is not invited you do not feel comfortable having him pay for you to go alone. Maybe she’ll change her mind, maybe she won’t. But there’s nothing you can do about the fact that she’s invited more people than the venue can hold and sounds like she’s panicking a bit.

He should have gotten a plus one! For my wedding, I made sure to count plus ones if they have been dating a while. I didn’t count the people who just started dating because they weren’t together when I made the guest list and who knows if they will be together and I am having a small wedding and I can’t keep adding more! Like one of my groomsmen is single and has been the whole time we have known him and he wants a plus one. He said he’s going to have a date for the wedding but I really don’t want strangers there and to have to kick someone out just to fit his date. I know this is harsh but I can’t do that for everyone or the wedding would have gotten big fast!

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Its a destination wedding for everyone! And what upsets me is that the only people that I do know are going, are allowed to bring their SOs. Granted, the couple knows the SOs. I'm not in the wedding party, only her sister and 2 friends are. She did invite me to her bachelorette party however and I declined as it was $800 for a Disney Cruise.

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Yes he would definitely help out if he could go!