My best friend didn't give me a plus one for my boyfriend...

Thank you so much to everyone who dropped their thoughts and concerns! Recently my friend texted me saying she needs to push out the date of when she'll know about my bf for another week or two, which would give us less than a months notice of planning for the wedding. As of this last week, I started working again (after being unemployed for 6 months). I also found out that my car will be needing repair between 2k-5k... (depending on if I want to do the bare minimum or everything it needs). AND I just found out that my bfs sister will be getting married at the end of October - my friend get married at the beginning of October.

At the moment I'm leaning towards only going to my bfs sisters wedding, attending all the other events for my friend, and simply explaining that expenses are high due to my car. I do feel bad that she'll see that I'll be at a different wedding but my bf will mainly be footing the bill for that minus my flight and some food. At the end of the day, I can't seem to get over the fact that she's not respecting my relationship by not inviting my bf... and that I won't really know anyone else going to her wedding minus 2 friends who will have their SOs there.

I've already spent $70 on her bridal shower gift and now have to give her a gift for the lingerie part and an actual wedding gift. Does anyone have any thoughts on how much to give for these?

Thank you so much again!!

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Well she is inviting other SO's who are not married or living together... yet these people have met the bride and groom.

She is definitely in the wrong here. Plus ones are for singles, not those in a relationship - he should have been invited. Considering the fact she knew you were in a serious relationship, I would tell her that you aren't going without him. It would be different if she literally had no idea you were in a relationship, but this is far from the care.

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I would keep it cheap. Technically, though its a lovely thing to do, you do not HAVE to give a wedding gift at all, especially if you aren't attending the wedding. As far as lingerie goes, what is it for? Maybe consider splitting something with someone else.

View Quoted Comment She’s having a lingerie party on top of the bridal shower (seperate days). Everyone is getting her lingerie for her gift of the actual lingerie party!

Having done 3 weddings for my kids and talking to other parents who pay for most of the wedding, many factors come into play. My nephew could only have 100 guests. That is all the venue would allow. That meant that it wasn’t as simple as sending out invites and getting RSVP’s. Tt meant juggling who should be invited and would give a firm yes, (family) and then splitting up the remainder with friends. That also meant that not every friend could bring a plus 1 if it meant a close friend attending with a plus one they didn’t know verses 2 close friends attending. So many places couples struggle to even find an opening at any venue and many venues have a firm cap on how many can attend. Something we don’t always think of at the beginning when we are excited and would love for everyone to come. For our kids, we had an amount we felt we could do and it was still way over what we should have done, like most families. I’d guess that most often parents and/or couples have to put a cap on a set number or the bills become overwhelming. At the beginning you never realize how expensive things are so you might unintentionally say, “Sure, the more the merrier,” not realizing that as the reality of how much it is costing sets in that it may cause you to have to make cuts in places you never wanted and hope that your friends understand. There may be many other people on their original list they hoped to invite or planned to invite that they ended up having to cut that you are unaware of. I’d try not to take it personally even if it feels that way now. If she is as good a friend as you say, I’m sure the last thing she is trying to do is hurt you. I’d say go if you can or want to without your boyfriend. If you don’t feel comfortable doing so perhaps a sweet note wishing them well and let her know how much she means to you and you wish you’d been able to attend. Maybe if you want to you could add that you so much want her meet your boyfriend and you her new husband and invite them to come visit or plan a short trip soon and celebrate with the 4 of you. Just my thoughts.

My whole department was laid off. If this were my situation, I just wouldn’t go to save the money. I’d plan a fun outing or trip with my SO to another place that won’t cost so much and send my regrets.

Ask the Bride how she’d feel if you had an event and didn’t invite her Husband once their Married.

I decided to not invite a few co-workers so that I wouldn’t have to invite their spouses. One, I had never even met.

You are supposed to only invite people that you would take out to dinner (this means that YOU are paying for them). At the end of the day, I was not comfortable with that.

I disagree with absolutely everyone. Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean he HAS to be invited to any party or event. In Egyptian culture the only plus ones you get are FIANCÉS OR HUSBANDS/WIVES. People really need to stop making someone else’s wedding about them and their comfort. If you’re not able to function as an adult in society without your partner holding your hand then do not go. It’s not your friends responsibility to go into financial debt doubling the entire party list so everyone can bring their boyfriends. Come on that’s INSANE!!!!

View Quoted Comment I know i’m late as well, but my thoughts exactly! It’s ridiculous how people can literally not do anything alone. If they know other people attending, then they aren’t going by themselves. The rude ones are the people who assume it’s a personal attack on them - if I’ve only met someone once, or haven’t met them at all, why would I want to look back on these photos and think “who tf was that?”. I want to be surrounded by people I care about, not strangers who may not even be around in 6 months. Weddings are EXPENSIVE especially in this day and age, and it’s not the bride and groom’s job to tiptoe around your feelings. Either go, or don’t. You’ll probably regret it.