My BM who doesn't drink is throwing my bachelorette party

@Ashley, that's what I tried to say in my first post, preach! Logical consistency for the win!

I'm the opposite, my girls are planning a night on the town, boozing it up, while I don't drink and would rather have low key.

Sorry you guys I passed out lol. I appreciate everyone's opinions! It's just been hard for me since I don't drink really and this would be one night to have a good time. She is an amazing friend, but she's that kind of friend who tries to change you. She's a churchy person and I'm not. I can't help but feel this is just one of things she does lol. Again I am VERY grateful

Also, the BM throwing this IS NOT paying for the lake house. My step mother offered to do so.

You know .... I've been thinking about this post and the difference of opinions got me thinking. I want to change my mind. I originally said to go and enjoy the party that is being hosted for you even though it's not what you want. What if she were having strippers and you were against that/said no to that in the initial planning? What if she insisted on having them even though you did not want them? Would you still go???

I would feel very comfortable saying thanks but no thanks in that situation. Shouldn't I be able to say that in your situation? Yes. I should be.

Well OP solved that one, this BM is not paying for the cabin, Bring some booze and have some fun!!

You could always decline the offer but then you risk hurt feelings. Is it worth hurting a friend's feelings over one night?

Hell no. I stand by my opinion then. If YOUR SM is paying for the accommodation, do what you damn well please. She doesn't get to dictate the rules.

Strippers? No. not my cup of tea to have male junk other than my FH all in my personal bubble. lol. I'm basically going to tell her I am bringing my favorite wine and rum to go with margarita mix. I talked with my mom and made a good point, I'm a grown ass woman. I'm gonna drink. It would be different if she paid for the cabin, but she didn't. And my MOH apparently has spend a large sum of money for decorations because she wanted to help, and she's also throwing me a lingerie party. I didn't know about all this until consulting my sister so likes I'm having my wine, even if it's just my friends there and not my BM

Sorry if that sounds bitchy. Just tired of it

@FutureMrsL well we're no super close anymore. Ever since I stopped attending church with her she got weird. I felt obligated to have her in the bridal party since she did spend a lot of her life with me.

No Future Mrs Brown, you do not sound bitchy. You considered everything and you know your friend best. It sounds like she's "part of the planning" and not the hostess. She doesn't have to drink or offer it but it's not her place to request a dry party.

Have fun and congrats!

Eh. I don't need alcohol for fun. Mostly because I can't drink more than two-three sips without feeling like crap. I'd also be a bit peeved if my SIL (the only one old enough and financially able to throw a Bach party) threw me a Bach party knowing this revolving or including alcohol and knowing that FSIL (a minor) couldn't participate. Also, she gets piss-stupid drunk and I would be pissed to take care of a drunk of MOH on the evening of my Bach party-- a party meant to honor me. HOWEVER, this is a party in your honor. If you want to drink then she should be hosting you and your guests properly. Also, since she isn't paying for the accommodations, then she doesn't get 100% say in that. Especially if others in the bridal party drink.

I'm having the opposite problem. I don't drink (never have) and my BMs and MOH know that, but I'm still stressing over listening to them tease me the whole time about not drinking.

How do you host a party in someone's honor and not take into account their tastes and preferences? We tell people on here all the time that if you are properly hosting, adults want alcohol. I don't see how hosting a weekend long girls trip on the lake somehow falls out of that rule.

I would say something to my MOH and come to some type of agreement. I can spend time with my girlfriends without alcohol but wine makes it sooo much more fun.

"Also, the BM throwing this IS NOT paying for the lake house. My step mother offered to do so."

In that case, this changes my opinion entirely. Bring the alcohol. If your mom's paying for the cabin, your MOH is paying for the decor, then your BM isn't exactly hosting alone.

@S&J the only reason it isn't as straight forward as other "dry event" posts is because the reason behind the no alcohol is moral/religious objections and I distinctly remember that every time this topic comes up with a vegan bride, most people are understanding that she won't be providing meat for her guests. I also think there's a difference between hosting a wedding (where you should provide alcohol regardless) and what sounds like a low-key girls night, but given that this girls night isn't being held in the BM's home and the BM didn't rent the place, then that changes my opinion and I do think the OP is free to drink if she wants and to bring alcohol for the others.

I don't remember a single thread on here that validated a vegan bride's decision to not serve meat.

It's a party that a friend is HOSTING in your honor. You are the GUEST. I honestly don't see what the problem is here. If you want a party with alcohol, then later YOU can host your own party and invite your drinking friends.

Let the host, host and let the guest be the thankful guest.

End of Story.

I threw a Bachelorette party for my best friend when she got married. She was pregnant so we didn't do the typical booze fest and we actually had a lot of fun. I set up for everyone to do a wine and paint event so if someone wanted to drink they could bring their own bottle. Afterwards we went to dinner then a drag show. There were drinking options for everyone else but it wasn't in an atmosphere where people would get wasted.

"I don't remember a single thread on here that validated a vegan bride's decision to not serve meat."

Depends on your definition of validation. In the last few vegan bride threads, the majority absolutely did back her up, telling the rest of us that you can go one meal without meat.