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Just Said Yes December 2019

My boss is a nightmare

Melissa, on November 19, 2019 at 9:19 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I work for a very small company out of state (I work remote). My boss (and owner of the company) thinks of everyone at the company as part of her family, but no one really likes her. Like at all. I invited several of my peer coworkers and a few superiors that I’m close with so I felt like I needed to invite her as well. Every time I see her, she asks about how wedding planning is going, but has not acknowledged being invited or receiving a save the date or invitation. I feel like she's trying to either size up my wedding to see if it'll be worth her time or she's trying to figure out whether I actually want her to come. I REALLY don’t want her to come to my wedding (neither do the other coworkers who will attend). RSVPs are due soon, and I am dreading having to follow up with her. As an added complication, she's pretty sensitive, so I don't want to upset her since that will backfire. She's a pretty busy lady and might legitimately not know if she can make it yet. I'm hoping she sends a nice gift and RSVPs no. Any advice on how I can approach following up with her? Thank you!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Theresa, on November 20, 2019 at 9:46 AM

Champion June 2019
Gen · on November 19, 2019 at 9:21 AM
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Has your RSVP deadline passed yet? If not there’s really no way to bring it up with her without being rude.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 19, 2019 at 9:26 AM
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You wait until after the rsvp date has passed and then you just send a message that says “hi we haven’t received your RSVP yet. We’ll need to know by x date or we’ll have to mark you as a no.” Same as you should do for any other guest that doesn’t RSVP by the date.
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VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on November 19, 2019 at 9:57 AM
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I am sorry you felt the need to invite her.

As with pp I would wait then send a quick email that says “Hey! Just wanted to know if you and guest are able to come? Need to get final head count by ___.”
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 19, 2019 at 10:16 AM
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Since you've already invited her, I agree with PPs that shooting her an email to confirm her RSVP is fine. Even if you're hoping her answer is no, remember that you did invite her and need to host her
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VIP September 2019
Lauren · on November 19, 2019 at 2:52 PM
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Traveling during the holidays is tough, I imagine if she hasn't said anything about getting a hotel or flights at this point then she is likely not going. Definitely wait until after the deadline to follow up. You could also casually ask in conversation if she has any plans for the holidays.
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Just Said Yes December 2019
Melissa · on November 20, 2019 at 8:18 AM
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Thanks ladies! I'll definitely wait to say anything until after the deadline!
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Expert May 2010
Theresa · on November 20, 2019 at 9:46 AM
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Just to offer up another point of view, if she considers everyone at the company family, maybe she's afraid she'd be disappointing you if she can't make it, and isn't sure how to "let you down" about not being able to go.
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