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Beginner July 2022

My bridesmaid refuses to let someone else do her make up.

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on February 9, 2020 at 4:09 AM

Ok so my wedding is coming up. Destination wedding! One of my friends in my wedding happens to be a make up artist. I asked her to do our make up because it’ll save me the expense of having to fly someone out. She said she would not do the make up for the wedding and exclaimed that she didn’t even do her sisters make up or her bridesmaids for their wedding simply because she was in the wedding and it’s too much work. So I decided to hire someone and have already booked them. This make up artist is a huge difference and I am happy with my choice. She is a professional make up artist.. whereas my friend just picked it up as a hobby and started doing make up on her friends and then decided to work at one of her friends salons doing make up. The make up artist I hired is well known throughout RI for her work and has worked for MAC cosmetics for years. Her precision in her work is amazing and I told every bridesmaid the situation and she was the only one with a problem. She states that no one is touching her face and she told me she’s not paying to have another make up artist do what she can do. So I asked if it was about money because I will gladly just cover the cost if it’s bothersome to her. She stated it’s not and got offended by the question. She then let me know that regardless of who the make up artist was, no one is touching her face. I think her deal is that she refuses to accept that someone else could do her make up because to her it’s like accepting that someone else can do a better job than her own job on her face. She told me I have to suck it up and “that’s that” and I told her to please reconsider as I will not put the other girls in that situation. Letting her get off with that will mean the other girls can also pick and choose. I did not hire someone so it can be this huge battle. I told her she means a lot to me and I would like her to respect my wishes and the attitude continued until I ended up telling her if she can’t respect my wishes then she can’t be a part of my wedding. I want everyone w the same make up and there’s a HUGE difference in the work. This is only The first situation and I already know she is going to come up with problems for everything else .. what would u do?

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233 Comments

Devoted September 2021
Cassandra · on February 10, 2020 at 7:40 PM
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I think the bridesmaid is being a little ridiculous over not letting someone else touch her face. However, at the end of the day you have to decide if makeup is worth a friendship. No one is going to pay attention to your bridesmaids makeup tbh. If she’s already good at make up you might as well let her do it for herself. If this situation means more to you than the friendship you guys have then I would say ask her to no longer be in the wedding.

My FH and I have found out the hard way that asking someone to no longer be in your bridal party can ruin a friendship. We asked a groomsmen to step down after he got engaged and set his wedding date the week before our wedding. We were upset because he lost the save the date and had no idea what month or even year our wedding was. At the end of the day we were trying to help both of our weddings run smoothly and expressed that to him politely, but he still hasn’t talked to my FH since. Not sure if it was all worth it in the end.
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Devoted July 2021
Eshell · on February 10, 2020 at 8:02 PM
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Well if her make up is “jack up” it’s he face not yours ! NO stress lady it’s about YOUUUUU!
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Expert November 2020
Danielle · on February 10, 2020 at 8:19 PM
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I agree with Sarah.
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Expert November 2020
Danielle · on February 10, 2020 at 8:21 PM
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I feel like I should say don't create extra stress for yourself. If she doesn't want it let it be. She might feel left out once everyone is getting theirs done and relent or maybe she has her reasons that she doesn't want to share with anyone. Enjoy your day girl don't stress over this there is plenty of other things to do.
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Dedicated November 2019
Nita · on February 10, 2020 at 8:34 PM
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Honestly I have really sensitive skin and a fear of people touching my face. I did my own makeup for my wedding and wouldn’t let anyone do it for anyone else’s wedding.

If someone wanted to kick me out of their wedding party over makeup I would not attend their wedding and would have to reconsider that friendship. A friends wedding isn’t worth the panic attack of having someone touch my face and the at least a week long breakout that I would have to deal with from having a different brand on my face.
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VIP August 2021
Kiara · on February 10, 2020 at 8:51 PM
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I mean she can either do her own or get the stepping..
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Expert February 2020
Tanyia · on February 10, 2020 at 9:10 PM
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Let her look jagged. If she refuses one more thing— boot her from the bridesmaids list. You don’t have time for someone else’s petty.
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Just Said Yes December 2021
Shajuanna · on February 10, 2020 at 9:21 PM
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So you asked her to do the makeup she refused, then you hire someone to do it and she refuses. It’s your day not hers. If she can’t agree to stuff you want in YOUR wedding then she can just be a guest at the wedding. If you feel like everything going to be a problem then sit her down have one last discussion and make your decision.
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Savvy July 2020
Jessica · on February 10, 2020 at 9:34 PM
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I would’ve asked her to not be a bridesmaid anymore. I will tell her whenever she has a wedding I would do whatever she needs me to do whatever she wants me to wear it and pay for whatever it is she needs me to pay for but until then she needs to respect the bride’s wishes it’s not a bridezilla to expect certain things at your wedding. It sounds like she’s just trying to get all the attention on her and that is not right on your wedding day. I will tell her whenever she has a wedding I would do whatever she needs me to do wear whatever she wants me to wear and pay for whatever it is she needs me to pay for but until then she needs to respect the bride’s wishes it’s not a bridezilla to expect certain things at your wedding. It sounds like she’s just trying to get all the attention on her and that is not right on your wedding day. That’s just my personal opinion.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 10, 2020 at 9:37 PM
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It’s honestly so upsetting seeing how many people are saying to kick this woman out of the bridal party because she doesn’t want someone touching her face. A lot of people are, reasonably, not comfortable with other people touching their faces and doing their makeup. Myself included. Cannot believe you (and so many other people here, clearly) would even consider ending a friendship because she doesn’t want someone else touching her face. Just... wow.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 10, 2020 at 10:04 PM
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Seriously.
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Savvy October 2021
Brittany · on February 10, 2020 at 10:14 PM
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She gots to go !!!!
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Savvy October 2021
Brittany · on February 10, 2020 at 10:17 PM
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Bruh tbh this too much stress on a wedding day... if she can’t comply goodbye....next thing you know she going to want to wear her hair the way she wants and it will never end... just say I appreciate you and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable in the wedding so just come be a guest... it shouldn’t effect your friendship ....
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Savvy February 2020
M · on February 10, 2020 at 10:18 PM
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I would tell her it's your wedding and it's your special day you're willing to pay. If shes truly your friend and wants to be in your wedding like you want her in yours she should allow it. You can always tell when one bridesmaids makeup is done by a different artist and to look uniform she should have the same makeup artist. I understand your frustration.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 10, 2020 at 10:54 PM
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...she SHOULD be able to wear her hair the way she wants it. These are human beings, supposedly the people you care about most, not props to dress up as part of your decor.

Kicking somebody out of your wedding absolutely does affect your relationship.
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Savvy October 2021
Brittany · on February 11, 2020 at 12:28 AM
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If being in someone wedding determine your relationship how solid was it to begin with.... really like it ain’t that deep if you want to come how you want and dress how you want be a guests simple
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Pamela · on February 11, 2020 at 2:00 AM
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I’d tell her that it’s your day and if she can’t respect a wish as simple as who will be doing her makeup, then she shouldn’t be in the wedding. 👌🏼
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Devoted September 2021
Shania · on February 11, 2020 at 2:19 AM
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Honestly, and this is just me, if my friend ever disrespected me like that I’d let her look dumb the day of. It’s mean but so was her attitude
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Colleen · on February 11, 2020 at 2:24 AM
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Tell her bye. No way she should tell you what she's not doing in your wedding. She doesn't need to be in it at all with that type of attitude. A friend will respect you and come around, if not she really isn't being a friend
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Just Said Yes May 2021
Mayce · on February 11, 2020 at 2:35 AM
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Girl bye! This is YOUR wedding. Either shes on board or shes just another quest. You did the right thing. This day is supposed to be full of love and smiles not chaos and attitude (unless it's yours 😆).
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