My bridesmaid refuses to let someone else do her make up.

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It's not about being in someone's wedding or not, it's about getting kicked out of someone's wedding.

View Quoted Comment How are you getting kicked out it’s your choice in life we have choices you don’t get to choose consequences

I feel like it's your wedding so they need to respect how you feel. They are not paying for this wedding and they are not putting in the time and stress of planning a wedding. Its your way or the highway. Maybe thats just me but this is your day with your husband, not anybody else's.

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It's simple. Kicking someone out of your wedding is a very public slight and offense against the person you asked to stand next to you as you got married. It should only be done for grave offenses, like the bridesmaid making a pass at the groom or stealing from the bride. Basically friendship-ending offenses, because kicking someone out of your wedding is a friendship-ending act. If you don't want to end the friendship, don't kick them out of your wedding. Certainly don't kick them out of your wedding for something as small and ridiculous as not wanting a make-up artist to do their make up.

View Quoted Comment I think we should be careful making judgment calls about a situation that we only have a paragraph worth of information. With that being said... I think you could have handled the situation differently. I see how she is coming across as difficult and no one wants petty drama during their wedding. So if you love her and want her in the wedding, try talking to her to come to a compromise that’s makes the both of you feel comfortable. Let her know that that is your is your goal because you love her.

I would decide what’s more important... the uniform make up or your friendship. I truly believe and support you in the fact that she could be more understanding. I think that there will also be someone who will not be completely on board when planning big events like a wedding. You could let her have her choice now and then not bend on anything else because it’s really your wedding. It’s a shame you couldn’t have stated your desires in advance and ask for everyone to accept your choices as a condition for being in the wedding. Best of luck to you in your final decision.

I totally understand where you are coming from. You have to remember that it’s your wedding and it is a privilege to be apart. If she wants to do her own makeup fine, but it should be in uniform with the others! And for her to tell you to suck it up would have been her ticket OUT MY wedding for saying such a thing. Respect is earned not given!! For you all to be friends perhaps have a one on one about the situation and if you don’t like the result of that she can be happy as a guest ... ITS YOUR DAY DON’T FORGET IT !

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I understand where you're coming from, maybe ask her if she can match the look of the other makeup artist, if not, then I would explain the importance to you for all the bridesmaids to match. If she still declines, then do what you need to. Its your wedding & you have a right to have what you want. I think people forget that some people have a vision & have an eye for the details, it may not be that big of a deal to some, but to you it could throw off your entire vision. You do you, girl.

I do think you’re briefing a bridezilla. You are absolutely entitled to your perfect day, but you are not entitled to tell someone what they should do on their person, outside of dresses.

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It is your wedding. Your wedding your rules.

I just did my own makeup for a friends wedding and everyone asked me who did my makeup. Im not a professional at all. I think ita a little extreme to make someone use a makeup artist. IMO, Thats almost asking them to be someone they are not. What if she had an allergic reaction to the makeup? I would want my friends to feel comfortable & sometime people dont feel comfortable with other people doing their makeup. Its a little thing, let it go

Everyone in this chat is freaking out and attacking the bride and I have no idea why.


A bridesmaids job is to support the bride. Period. It is literally what you sign up for.
Everyone here is planning a wedding so I feel like there should be a little more slack for the bride. She has enough stress and doesn’t need a rogue bridesmaid freaking out over something that she really should just go along with.
What if the bridesmaid hates it? Well maybe she should have volunteered to do everyone’s makeup in the first place. It’s not like she wasn’t offered the choice.
Besides even saying something like “I would love to help but doing everyone’s is too much for me. Could I do the bride and one or two bridesmaids?” Or at least a little more helpful than it seemed to be. Please have more understanding wedding wire chat haha. A lot of us have been in both situations. I never complained (at least to the brides face lol) or tried to get my way when it wasn’t my wedding. I felt it was a pay forward thing- like if you are loving and supportive to your friends getting married now, when it’s your turn you will have people supportive of you.

Don't feel bad my sister in law said can she do her own makeup even tho Me the bride is PAYING for a professional makeup artist to do it.....you just can't win

I can definitely understand where your coming from but I would say if youre having them pay for the makeup themselves, they should have a choice on who does their makeup. Some of my bridesmaids prefer their own style and to do their makeup look themselves so I will let them. I am one who prefers not to have my face completely done and I know not everyone likes the same style of makeup. It may be my big day, but I want my girls to me comfortable and happy with their looks as well.

I totally get how you're feeling. I wouldn't be happy if I was in your position either. You've already asked her to make an exception, and offered to pay. I guess its one of those things you have to weigh the friendship over makeup. I guess as long as she'll do something similar its something to let go. But you aren't wrong in feeling like this, its your wedding and you want it the way you want, I'm the same way. I hope everything turns out ok.

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Support =/= being dressed up however the bride likes. Emotional support, sure. Dictating professional make up and a particular make up artist? No.

I would be pissed if my bridesmaid refused to get her makeup done that I already paid for.

View Quoted Comment What you are describing is not the loving support that was ever customary about weddings, except in stories and tv or movie producer's minds. Support for the bride has meant wearing a dress or outfit of their choosing. Never hair, makeup, nails, jewelry or any other aspect of personal appearance. Just as in parties, which have always been given by those who volunteer, in the style and size the hostesses choose, not bride, over and over recently, brides are acting as though their every wish is to be obeyed. Looks, spending large sums of money beyond dresses, demanding trips instead of 4 hour parties, all kinds of inflated demands are being made of BM. And that is wrong. It is making up something that has never been true, and holding bridesmaids responsible for it. Brides don't get a majic wand, or the right to do a makeover on BM. Just as GM don't get a makeover from Grooms. Nothing, nothing but the choice of dress, and what flowers they carry, and where they walk or stand. BM have never been required to get ready with brides. Until recent years, when it started showing on reality TV, BM were responsible for themselves. No one but celebrities and the very rich arranged services. But recently, many brides on here post that it is the job of the BM to make a bride's dreams come true, by doing every single thing she wants. That is the opposite of etiquette, or polite social manners. Etiquette requires that brides not dictate to their social friends, or their family. No dictating details of personal appearance, except clothing ( dress or suit) to adults. Period. And I find it distressing that it keeps coming up, people posting, BM should do everything a bride wants on her special day.
No. Never has been true, except royalty in the past. And it is very unfair to ask someone to do a traditional thing, then add on all kinds of unexpected things. Friends and family should not have to be bossed around by a bride, to make her happy . I think of all the Grooms out there. Do they expect to determine how their guys shape their haircuts, do beards or other facial hair? Want spa days? Group Manis and pedis as an activity to make the groom happy? A couple of hours and a hundred dollars of pro styling, when a person can take care of themselves, and wants to? No. This stuff is not required of guys in a wedding. And has never been part of weddings for women either ( as a requirement.) Brides are not entitled to anything , beyond a nice MOH or BM wearing the bride's choice of dress, and being ready and groomed to BM own standards, an hour before the wedding. BM do or give as much as they choose, no more. And are still the only ones in charge of their own appearance, wherever they are . And brides should accept that, as they always have. Nothing has changed. Nothing in etiquette has ever indicated it is okay to micromanage BM time, money, or personal appearance. It is the bride's day to be married. Not the day to rule over friends and family . Not to have everyone obey every wish .

So I commented earlier today on this trying to defend the bride and now I got random people attacking me 😂


For everyone freaking out about this... are your bridesmaids able to wear whatever they want? I bet you have a color scheme and I bet you might have even told them what dress to wear. Why did you do that? Because you have been planning your wedding and wanted those that are involved to have a certain look. Whether it’s a dress, a hairstyle, a mua- whats the difference?
And please don’t @ me on this. The bride asked for an opinion and I gave mine. Let’s all support each other and let this place be a safe place to vent- not a place to get people making you feel bad or more stressed!

View Quoted Comment I’m on your side. Honest, I was more upset at her “suck it up” attitude over the doing her own make up. I don’t think people should talk to people, especially stressed brides, like that.


I had bit of a headache with my BMs dresses, everyone has a thing they had issues with (except one BM who said she’d wear a panda suit if I asked).