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Beginner July 2022

My bridesmaid refuses to let someone else do her make up.

on February 9, 2020 at 4:09 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 233

Ok so my wedding is coming up. Destination wedding! One of my friends in my wedding happens to be a make up artist. I asked her to do our make up because it’ll save me the expense of having to fly someone out. She said she would not do the make up for the wedding and exclaimed that she didn’t even...
Ok so my wedding is coming up. Destination wedding! One of my friends in my wedding happens to be a make up artist. I asked her to do our make up because it’ll save me the expense of having to fly someone out. She said she would not do the make up for the wedding and exclaimed that she didn’t even do her sisters make up or her bridesmaids for their wedding simply because she was in the wedding and it’s too much work. So I decided to hire someone and have already booked them. This make up artist is a huge difference and I am happy with my choice. She is a professional make up artist.. whereas my friend just picked it up as a hobby and started doing make up on her friends and then decided to work at one of her friends salons doing make up. The make up artist I hired is well known throughout RI for her work and has worked for MAC cosmetics for years. Her precision in her work is amazing and I told every bridesmaid the situation and she was the only one with a problem. She states that no one is touching her face and she told me she’s not paying to have another make up artist do what she can do. So I asked if it was about money because I will gladly just cover the cost if it’s bothersome to her. She stated it’s not and got offended by the question. She then let me know that regardless of who the make up artist was, no one is touching her face. I think her deal is that she refuses to accept that someone else could do her make up because to her it’s like accepting that someone else can do a better job than her own job on her face. She told me I have to suck it up and “that’s that” and I told her to please reconsider as I will not put the other girls in that situation. Letting her get off with that will mean the other girls can also pick and choose. I did not hire someone so it can be this huge battle. I told her she means a lot to me and I would like her to respect my wishes and the attitude continued until I ended up telling her if she can’t respect my wishes then she can’t be a part of my wedding. I want everyone w the same make up and there’s a HUGE difference in the work. This is only The first situation and I already know she is going to come up with problems for everything else .. what would u do?
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233 Comments

  • Diana
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Diana ·
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    Agree 💅🏾
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  • Diana
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Diana ·
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    Exactly 💅🏾💆🏾‍♀️
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  • Melissa
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Melissa ·
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    Sounds like your pride is in the way. Why do you want everyone to have the same style makeup? Do you care about how comfortable they are, or uncomfortable? Put yourself in her shoes... everyone has a right to be themselves to some extent. Instead you are trying to make them all look like identical barbies you are playing dress up with. If I were your bridesmaid I would gladly remove myself from your wedding.
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  • E
    Just Said Yes August 2021
    Elena ·
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    Being the bride does not mean that she is entitled to everything she wants when it comes to other people. Her guests, who she supposedly respects and cares about, are not decorations to get a picture perfect ceremony. I feel that brides don't realize that others aren't really that fascinated over a wedding that's not their own! It's one thing for friends to share the excitement and do their best to accommodate the bride's wishes and a different thing for the bride wanting to dictate every detail and then guilt-trip them if they don't comply, under the "I'm the bride, I am entitled to everything I like, don't ruin my day".


    This lady booked a MUA apparently without asking the bridesmaids if they're ok with that. It came from a good place I assume but nevertheless. Also, in my understanding, she expected the bridesmaids to pay for this service on top of the contributions they have undoubtedly made already. I do think the bridesmaid could let it go and accommodate the bride's wish,it's a bit rigid to insist on something that's not that big of a deal. However, since she doesn't want to have someone else do her make-up yet the bride is obsessing over a detail that no one will really notice except from her, then she is off. A guest/bridesmaid is a person who is supposed to feel comfortable and enjoy the party, not some flower that doesn't fit the deco.
    If the bride feels that the bridesmaid's behavior is coming from somewhere else, then they need to re-evaluate and work on their relationship.
    But generally speaking, demanding others to bend-over-backwards to accommodate whatever a bride has imagined for her own wedding isn't a realistic expectation. They have the right to say no. Rather, it indicates that the bride treats the wedding as an opportunity to put up a personal show and not as a party where her friends are to be honored, feel comfortable and have fun! A bit of perspective on both sides would solve so many issues..
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  • Shania
    Devoted September 2021
    Shania ·
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    It’s that “suck it up and that’s that” part that had me going umm okay no. And as a bridesmaid for my friends I will do whatever they want me to do because it’s their day. I would wear neon pink with a lime green sash and 80’s makeup if that’s what they want and I expect them to do the same for me.
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  • Keri
    Just Said Yes August 2021
    Keri ·
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    Thank you! Exactly what I was saying, it's just the principle, its not just about the makeup. It's HER day that's all that matters

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  • Michael&Briana
    Beginner July 2021
    Michael&Briana ·
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    I totally agree with you in this
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  • Kalynne
    Savvy July 2021
    Kalynne ·
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    I’ve payed A LOT of money to have my makeup done just to have it look like trash. You obviously like the way she does her own because you asked her to do the wedding party. I had a MOB try and force yo yo have my makeup and hair done (AND wanted me to pay for it), and I flat out told her no. Let’s be honest, a makeup artist uses different colors to complement a different face, as long as everyone looks good, who cares. It would be different if she were refusing to wear makeup at all, or was terrible at it and insisting in doing her own...


    As someone who had had a background in makeup, I’m picky, and if someone does a sub par job on my face, it will reflect in photos because I won’t feel confident.
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  • Kalynne
    Savvy July 2021
    Kalynne ·
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    👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼Well said, I 100% agree! Most of us are spending 10’s of thousands of dollars for weddings, and we do this knowing it’s really about a big party for our friends and family. The important part is you’re getting married, celebrate! It’s it’s honestly about YOU, elope lol
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  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie ·
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    I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all. It's your wedding, I understand wanting everyone to look uniform. That kind of thing bugs me too. I think she showed her true colors in the beginning. Why wouldn't she want to do your makeup or your bridesmaids (if you don't have an outrageous # of bms)? That's part of being a bridesmaid- helping! Each of my bridesmaids have certain tasks and they're all happy to do so. If you're paying for the makeup and she still refuses, I say it's fair to not have her as a BM anymore.
    I will add though, I hope you're paying for everyone's makeup if you're requiring them to have professional makeup done.
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  • Trese
    Dedicated July 2020
    Trese ·
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    Some of my bridesmaids don’t wear makeup at all. So I’m not going to make a big deal about that. Also I’m not making it a big deal about the hair styles because some have short hair and don’t wear extensions either. As long as everything is a natural color or look I’m not stressing over it. For those who want to wear makeup will wear it. ALL EYES WILL BE ON ME and my KING ANYWAY lol
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  • Reasie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Reasie ·
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    You probably have to do what I had to do with one of my bridesmaids; BYE FELICIA! I don't have time nor the desire that type of added stress
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  • S
    Beginner August 2021
    Sally ·
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    I think you are right because it sounds like no matter what you do she will fight to have her way. If she didn't want to do make up what else will she not want to do?
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  • Reasie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Reasie ·
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    EXACTLY! 👌🌹
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    There are people that dont like to be touched in their face, feet etc..... I'm having 3 of my bridesmaids do their own makeup because they are not comfortable with someone else touching their face. You should consider that some people like their personal space.
    Just let it go and move on
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  • Nakesha
    Dedicated February 2021
    Nakesha ·
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    I would have done exactly the same. I don't think this is out of bounds at all. If she cannot respect your wishes for your day, she can choose not to take part. You have choosen the less stressful path. Your friend was being selfish and immovable.
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  • Nakesha
    Dedicated February 2021
    Nakesha ·
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    I don't think time or money was the concern. From the sound of it, her friend decided to put her in a difficult situation over makeup. She said she wanted all of her bridesmaids to have the same style of makeup and her friend doesn't have the same style as the makeup artist she hired. She also said she didn't have any other issues and refused to do the rest of the party's makeup. It sounds to me like she just wanted to make things difficult. Allergies and phobias are one thing. Stubborn b***hiness is something else entirely. It, unfortunately, sounds like her friend was the latter, not the first.
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  • Nakesha
    Dedicated February 2021
    Nakesha ·
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    When the STYLE of makeup is different people DO notice.
    I think it sounds like the issue is deeper than just makeup. The amount of grief her bridesmaid has given her over this is absurd.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    If this woman is a professional makeup artist though she should be perfectly capable of doing her makeup in the same style as the other artist is doing with the other girls
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  • Nakesha
    Dedicated February 2021
    Nakesha ·
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    Exactly this!
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