My children aren’t invite but others are!

I agree with Kelly about "inviting in circles," and those in the wedding party (and those kids' siblings) are a different circle than the children of other family members/friends. Daughter had 101 guests at her wedding, including the four children (all siblings) who were in the wedding and NO other children.... It was awkward. There were people (especially family members) who were "insulted" their kids weren't invited, but that was the B&G's choice. And, honestly, the youngest child, a 4-yr old, slept through the entire reception and the next youngest, a 6-yr old, walked around in a daze with his thumb in his mouth the entire night. The 8 & 10-yr olds danced and had a great time. There really wasn't any reason for the two youngest to be there, except that they were in the wedding party. If there are a bunch of other family-related children going who are NOT in the wedding party, then I think it makes sense to be upset that your children aren't being treated equitably, but if those attending are ONLY those in the wedding party and their siblings, then I think that's a legitimate choice. It might not be the choice you want, but it's not your party. As you said, if you choose not to go, you risk looking petty. It's a weekend; if I were you, I'd go and be a good guest. You can always bring a trusted friend/family member AND you kids along on the trip, and take your kids to the part they are invited to and leave them with the trusted friend for the wedding. Attending a wedding without ones children isn't really the worst possible thing.

Try not to take it personally. There may be a reason that the one set of nieces and nephews are invited and your kids aren't. How many kids are going? How many nieces/nephews of the step sibling are in that family? Are they the only kids invited? You said the one was in the wedding. If they have 2 kids, it would be rude to invite the kid that's in the wedding and make the parents find a sitter for the kid who isn't. Make sense?

IMHO, every step situation is different. Some may consider a step a sibling. Others may still have resentment over belief (which may or may not be accurate), that a step sibling was treated better. Even if raised together, that can be subjective. If one stepsibling was in the house for a year, and went to other parent 50/50 or left for college, they may not be that close.

In any event, it sounds to me that the bride was closer to her full brother than OPs DH, as his kids are in the wedding party (not clear to me from OP if the kids or the full brother was in the party). Inviting only children of WP is acceptable.

If you are insulted, you should politely decline. I would still not try to keep my DH from going.

I agree with you. It does seem mean. If someone wants a child free wedding that's fine, but it's wrong to pick and choose who can bring and who can't, especially if you have to travel to the wedding.

Well actually you can invite some children and not others. They're just like any other guest; you get to decide who you want to invite and not invite, barring splitting up couples. Inviting some children and not others may make for conflict, like inviting some cousins and not others may make for conflict, but the hosts still get to decide the guest list. It's also very appropriate for them to invite the sibling of someone who is participating in the wedding; in fact, excluding them would be considered by many to be rude. So including all of the bride's brother's kids makes sense and is perfectly appropriate. That doesn't have any impact on the rest of the guest list.

It sounds like there's more going on here, though. Is there a bigger issue with your husband feeling like he's treated differently as a step-brother? Is this situation tapping into a larger family dynamic?