My dad thinks I'm too young?

I got married at 21 and divorced by 24...I'm marrying for the second time at 35. I'm telling you that 35 year old me know's who she is and what she wants out of life and a spouse far more than 21 year old me did. You go through A LOT of changes in your mid-20's and sometime's those changes aren't good for both of you. It's not always the case that it does not work out, I have friends from High School who married their HS sweetheart's and are still married...but they waited until AFTER college and then a year or two after that to get married. I wouldn't rush this time in your life, you have more than enough time to get married, trust me. I wouldn't call off the engagement but I would certainly push the wedding back a few years. I'm not saying y'all for sure won't make it if you do choose to get married young, but I can tell you as a former 21 year old bride and wife, those early years are extremely difficult and your 20's are a time of major growth.

THIS.

I never want to go through another divorce. It's nothing to take lightly. My ex and I have been in custody battles for years. We have spent well over 100K in lawyers and legal fee's and we finally have something worked out that works for us both and our kids. My FH and I choose to live in an extremely expensive area of the country so we can all be close so the kids have both parents. Including living expenses and the legal battles divorce has easily cost my ex-husband and myself 500-600K on our kids. Do NOT take divorce lightly. I'm not even going to talk about what it does to your children and we divorced when the kids were babies (2/4).

Maybe your dad will change his mind you still have time, you should tell him how you would feel if he wasn't there to walk you down the aisle and to miss your wedding entirely hopefully you only have one wedding. Good luck I hope your dad chooses to be there for you!

My parents have always told me that I should wait until i'm out of college to get married and I did. I've been with my FH for 6.5 years, dated all throughout college, and got engaged the same month I graduated with my degree. We'll get married right before our 24th birthdays. I honestly would not have done it any differently. There was SO MUCH growing up that happened over the four years we were in school. We've both always been mature for our age, but I can promise you no matter how mature you are, you will change significantly throughout your early 20's. I would have a long engagement, save for the wedding, and graduate first. Getting married isn't a race I wouldn't compromise my relationship with my father to get married a few years earlier.

In my opinion, it's maturity more than age. I know several people in their 30s that are so NOT ready to get married. I come from a military family, so we have a ton of friends & family that married when they were 18 and are married happily 20+ years later. As long as you are 100% financially independent, mature with your relationship (good with communication, on the same page about religion/family/values/etc., minimal fighting) and able to handle life as an adult (again financially but also doing well in school, job plans, housing plans, etc.) then I think it's fine. My parents got married at 30 after dating for 10 years and still got divorced 20 years later. One of my best friend's parents married at 19 after 3 months of dating and are still happily married 30 years later. I would suggest doing pre-marital counseling, but I think almost all couples should do that regardless of age.

Are your parents still married? Either way, I would ask my dad to tell me what he thinks are the most important factors in a marriage. I would literally ask him to write them out. Then take some time to take those thoughts in. I would then go though an honestly evaluate your relationship in those categories. Be critical of yourself. I think it is completely okay to still be working on those things. Then go back to your father and have an honest discussion about where you see the strengths and weakness are in your relationship and why you think you are ready to marry your FH.

Are you guys going to go to per-marriage counseling? If so, I would talk to the counsler and see if there is a way to include both yours and his parents. Have you dad see how seriously you take marriage.

Good luck!

I agree that you two are too young. It has nothing to do with emotional/financial maturity, but that people grow and change during their teens-early 20's; sometimes this change can be so drastic that you grow apart.

However, I do believe that your father should still attend to show his love for you, if not his support. December is a ways off, so take the time to discuss this with him, focusing on why he feels that you two are not ready. Hopefully your openness and repeated discussions will convince him that, by not attending, he would be missing something very special. Good luck!

No, in fact it does not. Age is just a thing that is looked at differently at different periods time. Our parents were mature at our age but somehow they still believe we are too young to do things. So yeah, if you feel like this man is yours, go for him. If your father won't be attending the wedding (which I highly doubt, to be honest, he would show up anyway), then it would be his loss and he would feel sorry for that.