My family is torn on religious views

Even Catholic friends and family whose weddings I've been to didn't have a full mass. It takes a long time and most people don't know what's going on.

Personally, I'd recommend against a full mass. They're extremely long. I've only attended one weeding like that and it was rough to sit through. In addition, I've also been to a lot of weddings where the presiding pastor preached a sermon in the middle it. Those were also not enjoyable. These are obviously just my opinions.

As far as the religious aspect, that's a lot of religions in the mix! Since only a portion of the attendees are Catholic, I'd not do the full mass. They're so long, and the pews get so hard. I was utterly lost the entire time when I attended the one wedding. It's nice that your mom is understanding. It'd be great if your FMIL was understanding. Since your FH is also Catholic (and it's his mom), do you think he could sway her? Or at least get her to be okay with it? Honestly, depending on how strongly she feels, you might have to accept that she doesn't like it, but will live with it. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment He has been trying since day one to sway her from it as he didn’t want to put everyone through an hour or so of a catholic mass. She is saying that everyone there should be understanding that it’s our religion But I feel like that only Goes so far realistically… we were hoping the priest giving the okay on not doing a full mass and going so far as to advise not to would sway her in of itself but it did nothing. We’ve got a full year to try though lol.

Personally I would just tell her you're not doing one and leave it at that. She doesn't have to like it, but he's not her wedding therefore it's not her choice.

It’s not mother in law’s wedding. Do what your priest is suggesting because he has expertise. A large portion of my family is Catholic and my generation and younger has chose not to have full masses and no one is upset by it. Do what works for you.

My SIL is Catholic (not really practicing though) and her husband is Methodist. She didn’t want him to have to stand up there with his arms crossed while she and a bunch of other people took Communion. Her mother (now my MIL) wasn’t too happy as she was wanting the full Mass, but as it was her daughter’s wedding, and therefore her choice, she eventually had to come around. As long as you both stand your ground and your FH communicates calmly to her that this is the choice of BOTH of you, she will be ok.
FYI I saw a previous poster commenting about the sermon during a full Mass, just in case it wasn’t known, the priest still does a sermon during the Mass without Communion form (at least at our Catholic church they do).

I think not having a full mass makes sense given the mix of religions. I'd say just stick to your guns, and either your FMIL will come around or she can spend the next year pouting lol.

I think it depends on how important your religion is to YOU and FH. If you're practicing Catholics and plan to be during your marriage, then I think it's odd if you dont' do a mass. It's certainly not required, but makes a lot of sense.

An hour is not ridiculous to sit through. I have been to SO many wedding in the last 15 years and the vast majority have been Catholic mass or religious services that last at least 40-60 minutes and those who aren't that religion are totally fine. Don't let either mom sway you, this is one area where you truly should only think about yourselves.

It is your wedding, so do what you want! If it does not feel right to you to do a full mass right now, then it will feel even more wrong when you are spending that extra time doing it on your wedding day and you may regret it later, possibly building resentment toward FMIL. Trust your gut, be honest with how you feel, and make the choice you won't regret later. You cannot always please everyone for your wedding, but it is your wedding so the person you need to honor is yourself and your FH.

First of all: I agree - it's YOUR wedding and though I've read a lot of crazy stuff brides and/or grooms wish to do with their wedding, it's still theirs. I am Roman Catholic as is all of my family (except our son and his kids who are Russian Orthodox). My husband is Protestant and has no family left. We are having a convalidation in June and it will be performed at the end of our church's regular Sunday Mass, but it will be low key, there are no invitations, and except for our son and his kids, and my Best Friend/MOH who is also the church Choir/Music Director/organist and her husband who is a church trustee, there will be no other friends or family, just the choir who would be singing that day, and the regular congregation. Second: to all that commented, Catholic Nuptial Masses nowadays are not that long. Regular Sunday Mass at our church is about 40-45 minutes; a Nuptial Mass may be closer to 50 minutes, an hour at most. The groom, if he's not a practicing Catholic, will stand with the bride receiving Communion with his arms crossed (as my husband will do) for about 5 seconds. However, I'm inclined to agree with your priest. If your ceremony is attended by about 70 people, most of whom are not Catholic, it might be awkward for them. (And, btw, they will know what's going on - the Mass is in English, the Bible readings are familiar to most practicing Christians, the priest faces the congregation - nothing is that mysterious.) Do let the Catholic guests know, however, that there will be no Mass - if your wedding is on a Sunday, they will have to attend Mass elsewhere.