My father is walking my step-sister down the asile!

I am confused. So did you ask your father to walk you down the aisle? Did he say no to you but say yes to her? Wether she's your step sister or not, she's still your sister. Maybe show support and be happy for her wedding unless there's more to the story that I'm just missing. I'm sorry, I am just not seeing the problem here if he is walking you both down the aisle..

He’s her dad too, obviously he’s special to her as she asked him.
If she was your blood sister you wouldn’t be making a stink. Get over it. You’ll have your day just like she will

I am so sorry you are feeling this way!!! How is your relationship with your dad, step mom, and step sister? Does she have a dad?

One thing I have realized recently is this "comparison is the thief of joy." It is SO TRUE! FH's brother recently got married. We got engaged a few months before their wedding. Anyways, FH's family was so excited about his brother's wedding, but NO ONE has shown excitement about ours. I finally had to realize that I needed to stop comparing their experience with my own, and concentrate on the good. As our wedding gets closer though, and their wedding is over, I am noticing them showing more interest.

In regards to him walking her down the aisle, you shouldn't be upset. She is his daughter now too. This doesn't make you any less of a daughter. And this doesn't mean he won't walk you down the aisle. Jealousy is an ugly thing, that I OFTEN struggle with, but ultimately we gotta stop comparing our relationships to others. He has his relationship with her, and his relationship with you. Please note: I am saying this without knowing the full context of y'all's relationships.

In regards to her wedding being before yours, it really shouldn't matter. You each get one day! You should be able to be happy for more than one person getting married. I have 3 other weddings going on around my wedding, and I couldn't be happier for the other couples. With her wedding being so close, let it be "her time." Then when your wedding comes, it will be just as special and will be "your time."

In regards to your engagement not mattering, it could just be that your wedding is so far out that other people just haven't gotten that "excitement" yet. 2 1/2 years is a long time for people to be excited for a wedding. Just go about wedding planning with you and your FH, then when the wedding gets closer I bet more people will be involved and excited. I had to learn that one too....lots of lessons in wedding planning, LOL....I was let down by my expectations vs reality. I BLAME THE MOVIES!!! Expectation: I expected wedding planning to be this magical thing, where everyone was just as excited and involved as I was, and there would be all of these fun and wedding related experiences, etc. Reality: There are no magical experiences, no one has been super excited or involved, and wedding planning is stressful. Also, when we got engaged, (as previously mentioned) it was a few months before FH's brother's wedding so it didn't seem like our engagement mattered that much either....so I get it, it can definitely be disappointing.

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Are you in a better financial position than she is? That could affect his reasoning for giving her money, but not you. Or maybe he is waiting until after her wedding to see what he can give you? My mom didn't contribute anything financially for my brother's wedding, but he is financially stable. She is contributing some towards mine, because I am not as financially stable and she knows I could use the help.

You’ll see a lot of posts on this forums from people struggling with the other side of this problem, they are the stepdaughter and don't have a good relationship (or not as a close a relationship) with there dad and want to ask their step dad to wall them. I understand feeling like the red headed step child. From your post and some of the comments is sounds like there is a lot more going on here. You mentioned a major depressive disorder and an ”evil queen stepmother.” I would guess your extreme reaction to this is tied to those things. Talk to your therapist and your support circle, they can help you calm and work through your emotions. Like other have said, I really doubt that your stepsister is doing this for spite you (few brides intentionally add drama to their day).

I can understand your frustration and I'm sorry. It's frustrating to watch your sibling get engaged right after you and basically compete with your wedding planning and such. My FH's parents have been very adamant about us having our engagement and wedding before his brother ever prorposes to his bonehead girlfriend. It's hard to have two engaged children at the same time and ultimately someone will fall to the back burner. So sad

I’m sorry that you feel hurt, but it seems you’re being a bit selfish. Of course her wedding is a priority right now, it’s 5 months away, yours is 21 months away. You’ll have your moment in the spotlight. As a stepchild myself, I assure you she didn’t choose to exclude her own father from this traditional role just to hurt your feelings. I’m sure this was a difficult decision for her.

I really doubt it. I assume she is doing it because your father is the most father figure person in her life. Are you an only child other than your stepsister? Because it's pretty common for people to have stepsisters, sisters or half sisters that would also do those things with their dad.

View Quoted Comment Why? You are engaged a few months. It does not have to be all about you you and you. My sister and my dad both got engaged and married In The time I been engaged. It is sad that just cause her dad is walking her step sister a girl he has known for 14 years. That you think that makes her wedimg less.

To everyone saying I'm pretty and selfish: I was forced out of his house when I was 17 because I brought home a milkshake that I didnt like and left it for my dad so it didnt go to waste and "the evil girlfriend" at the time threw a fit because I didnt bring her anything (they were both asked before hand if they wanted anything, they both said no), there's 2 pictures of me on display in their house and 100's of her 2 daughters, they bend over backwards for her and act like I'm an inconvenience, when they got married I wasn't even told about it until my uncle ripped me a new one for not being there, I've been excluded from "family" gatherings because the step mother doesnt like me, as far a being financially stable - shes got degrees, good job and is doing well, me on the other hand, I'm on permanent disability, cant go out and do better for myself because people literally make me sick, 2 liver transplants have left me with no immune system. I have to ask permission well in advance to even go to my dad's house, and she's never had to ask for anything. As far as therapy and counseling, it's not a covered service by my insurance and I cant afford it. And not once have I said she cant have what I want, I have only asked for advice on how to deal with it. Because yes, I asked myself "how can I tell her no? How can I be that mean?" But it doesnt negate the fact that it hurts my feelings.

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I don't think you're selfish at all, I think that you're hurt. I think that on a very surface level it may seem selfish to some people, but relationships are so much more complex than what we see on the surface. It is easy for people to tell you that you are being selfish and unkind on the internet, when they don't have all the information and everyone is going off of etiquette and just generally being kind. Please don't let comments get you down, as people are just trying to be helpful based on what they initially were told.

I'm sorry that you struggle with so much health-wise and family wise. I think that you need to have a heart to heart with your dad. You can't control the actions of people around you, but you can let them know how you feel -and your dad should be listening to how you feel. I don't mean about the walking down the aisle thing, I mean everything. It sounds like maybe your step family (especially your step mother) hasn't been treating you well and as your father, he needs to deal with it. I can't imagine having to ask for permission to see my dad, and with everything that you're going through, you should be able to see the people you love without feeling like you're walking through a mind field.

But also, regarding the step-sister, there seems to be resentment towards her that maybe she hasn't caused. I don't know the details of your life, but your step-mother seems to be much more of a problem. Your dad doesn't love you any less just because he is walking her down the aisle, but I think it's totally fair to have a conversation with him and let him know "hey, this bugs me, and I think the reason why it bugs me is because we don't spend enough time together/evil stepmom sucks"

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Completely agree with this.

Also, he could walk 100 women down the aisle before you. But it's still going to be a different and special experience for him when he walks you down. There won't be any "oh, I've already done this" feelings. Men just don't think like that.

Count your blessing though. Your father is going to be there for both of you. Mine won't go to my wedding for very petty reasons.

You are his daughter and at the end of the day, no one can take this from you. I’m not going to say that he won’t have his moments with his step daughter, but the moments he will have with you will be different . Your engagement does matter . Plus since her wedding will be done and over soon, all the attention will be on you. It’s not a competition, others in your situation may react the same way. Don’t let anyone make you feel less important

I think your overreacting that is your dad but what if she considers her dad to be your dad too. I have 7 kids 2 are my fh step kids My oldest daughter thinks of my fh as her dad it wouldn't be right of my middle and youngest daughter too throw a pitty party if he was to walk her down the aisle.

Wow. This is de railing quickly. Please re read what I first wrote. You can have sad feelings but still be a person who wants others to shine too. As for your past struggles with your dad... I guarantee you the majority of people on these forums have family issues too... when you ask for advice, and people give it you... accept the information they are providing you is to your benefit.

Seems to me like you should take your own advice and understand all sides of the situation

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I don't know the relationship between you and your step sister, her and her dad, and you and your dad, but if you had a biological sister, would you be this jealous if your dad walked her down the aisle? I'm just not sure why you are so upset. My mom died when I was 9 and my step mom has been with my dad since I was 11. She has a daughter of her own. My step mom treats me like her daughter and I treated her like the MoB when I got married. If my step sister said the things you are saying about your step sister because I treat her biological mom as a real mom, I would be devastated. Just because your step sister is close to your dad doesn't mean he loves you less or she doesn't deserve to have a fatherly relationship with him. If there are other issues with your family dynamic and your dad, you should talk to him about it, but your step sister is essentially his daughter now too. I have friends who are products of divorce whose step dads walked them down the aisle and did the dance with them because they didn't have good relationships with their biological dad. I think you need to put your jealousy aside and be happy for your step sister. You need to learn to share your dad like you would with any other sibling. Again, you didn't post much about the dynamic between you and your step sister other than her and your step mom make you feel like a red-headed step child. I'm just approaching this as someone with a strong bond with their step parent that I would be incredibly hurt if my step siblings looked at my relationship with their mom the way that you are looking at your relationship with your dad. I'm sure he has a big enough heart for you and your step sister.

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How do you think it works for girls who have older sisters? I'm the youngest of 3 daughters who got married, and I promise you my dad didn't mention my sisters weddings at all during mine. It sounds like he's been part of your step sister's life for a while. If that's who she would like to walk with, that is her choice.

As someone that no longer speaks to my father and had a lot of feelings to deal with, you need to seek help. There is a lot of pent up rage, disappointment, unmet expectations and sadness flooding out of these posts.

You also need to realized that life is not fair. You got dealt a bad hand, and for that I am sorry, but that doesn't mean you need to take it out on others that didn't have the same challenge as you.

I hope you find peace.